I’m so scared of everything .

So many thoughts are coming into my head right now I don’t know how to think. I don’t even know how I am going to put this into words on here I just don’t know what to do . I am so scared of throwing up it’s so hard to explain . Everybody tells me “well no likes getting sick” but they don’t get it. It’s not just that, I am scared about getting any major illness and my mind keeps making me think that everything will give me food poisoning or a stomach bug if I am not careful or if I don’t check my temperature ten times in a row . I have to wash every produce throughly if I don’t I will do it again. And it sucks . Every time my stomach hurts I think that I will get sick. I barely eat and sleep because I am so scared . I am scared to sleep because I genuinely think that “anything can happen while I am asleep” so even if I take sleep medication my mind makes me stay awake out of fear. I just want to feel normal . I can never eat out without doing research of the place I am eating at and even after that it doesn’t help. I always feel worried that I will get sick on an important date just because that day is important like Halloween or an upcoming concert or hanging out with friends , so now I just mainly stay at home … but it hurts me because i want to live ( it's ironic because Liv is my name) so badly . my dream is to someday go on a Europe trip but i can hardly leave my state without thinking that something bad will happen to me . its getting unbearable at times . I wonder what it would feel like to not be completely burdened by anxiety and horribly disgusting thoughts every second of my life. And if you're wondering why I haven't had any medication prescribed to me is because I am also scared about taking any medication . I just feel helpless and it's my own fault . And I know I am holding myself back at times but I just don't know how to stop being scared and how to stop worrying about every aspect of my life . It's going to drive me insane .

Username: TapDrumRollTapDrumRoll

Date posted: 23w ago

Set your alarm for only intervals of time to be scared or worried. When the time is up, make a move. Push yourself to do things differently if only small changes. I’m glad you are getting this all out to us. It helps to express your feelings. I feel for you. ~ Throwing up is your bodies natural way of ridding something toxic. It’s a bodily function that is to be thankful for. Our bodies have an intelligence which is simply miraculous and it is taking care of us, even if you think it’s a bad thing. Our body always wants to protect us. We should have trust in our body and not be afraid of all the physiological and biologically responses it must perform day in and day out. Your stomach may hurt because you are hungry and it’s telling you it needs nourishment. Try and only wash your produce one less time than you usually do. If you wash it 5 times, try to lower it to 4. Give yourself a break. This is gonna take small incremental changes. If things get too hectic, step back take a break and at least a nap if you can’t sleep deeply. ~ I know you don’t like medicine so I guess supplements might also be out. But magnesium is a deficiency many of us have and it causes anxiety. I also found that I was low in iron and it made my anxiety skyrocket until I started taking iron pills(ferrous sulfate). If maybe you could get a checkup and have your blood checked. There may be more to this than you thinking you aren’t normal. Try to lay off the googling and make small changes, even tiny changes, because they do add up. This isn’t forever.

Username: Ranger_867Ranger_867

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 23w ago

@TapDrumRoll Thank you for that information. I may try magnesium.

Username: Livi_luwho426Livi_luwho426

Date posted: 23w ago

@TapDrumRoll Thank you so much! This really helped and I appreciate you for commenting 🫶

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 23w ago

You're not alone in this, OCD is very manageable without medication, it just takes a bit longer I think. You're here and if you've been dealing with it for this long it means you're stronger than a lot of people. Stay safe and have a wonderful day.

Username: Livi_luwho426Livi_luwho426

Date posted: 23w ago

@Anonymous Thank you so much :))

Username: Ranger_867Ranger_867

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 23w ago

I am sorry that you’re going through this but you’re far from alone. We are all in this together. I tend to go through a cycle of good weeks and not so good weeks. It is very challenging. My focus on a daily basis is seeking “what IS” vs “what IF”. And “what is” is bigger and more important than “what if”. So, What is means - I’m sitting here with my puppy he’s trying to get my attention to play with him. I smell the coffee that my wife brewed downstairs. I hear my children laughing. And on and on. This is real. The what ifs probably will never happen. As for therapy and medication, I highly recommend that you reconsider these. I believe that medication has helped me 50% of the way. I’m on a combination of Luvox and Buspar. I haven’t encountered bad side effects either. The NOCD therapy, exercise, and mindfulness gets me to about 70% on average. I am able to function. I know you can get there too, but you really should talk to a doctor who can help start you off slowly with some medication. It takes a solid 4-6 months to see change too. Don’t let others fool you - they took it for a month and quit it because of XYZ. It takes a lot of work. Feel free to reach out to me anytime.

Username: Anonymouss

Date posted: 1y ago

Emetophobia

I get anxiety every single time I have a stomach ache and you know how often I have a stomach ache every single day I get anxiety every single day about the same things and even more things but it’s not just that so much things trigger it and I feel so misunderstood like people think oh you have a fear of throwing up well no one like throwing up or get over it but it’s not that simple I’m traumatized like I’d rather do something I absolutely hate than throw up. I literally avoid everything I can’t eat this can do that can’t share. i have to take vitamin c everyday to improve my immune system I don’t like travel because I’m scared of motion sickness I get scared on rides thinking someone will Throw up on me I cant drink even though I’m underage and alcohol is disgusting but still I can’t be around little kids because they have too many germs. I always think I have a fever and I’m constantly checking my temp. I’m constantly feeling my head and my cheeks to make sure they’re not hot. I get scared to go to my cousins house because they are always sick I can’t eat at certain restaurant i have to check dates on food. I can’t wear certain clothes. i have dreams of myself throwing up. When I get intrusive thoughts/ images about me getting sick or someone else. I Literally can not function on certain days from the past I got sick there is so much more how will this ever stop how will I ever be able to function I avoid so much and I literally miss out on so much things because of this like I literally want to shut down in my room and never come out that’s how bad it is. I have this extreme fear of getting sick/ vomiting and OCD has latched onto that fear ever since I was little and I have to do all these compulsions and this is just a list of some of the things I have to do. Anyone else relate?

Username: itgetsbetter!

Date posted: 42w ago

Feeling Scared

TW: talk of cancer I don’t post on here much, but I’ve been dealing with Health Concern OCD my whole life. I am constantly searching for mystery illnesses that could be causing even the slightest discomforts in my body. My lymph nodes are swollen, I am trying to rationalize my thinking by saying I could just have a cold. However, I cannot stop thinking about it. I am terrified of having some form of cancer/lymphoma that I may not have noticed until now. I am restless and unable to sleep, all I can think about is what is going to happen if I get this checked out by a doctor. I want to know why this is happening in my body, but I’m scared that my worst nightmare might be true and if I was too late to get seen. I’m feeling very defeated, and trapped in my own head. Nobody knows how debilitating my OCD really is because I put on a very good facade of seeming like I’m cool calm and collected. Most of the time, I’m freaking out over the smallest changes or feelings.

Username: flowerpetals

Date posted: 30w ago

anxiety attack

i’m just getting over a pretty bad anxiety attack. it also started when i was making food and a wave of nausea hit me which of course sent me into a spiral. however i started thinking about how i’ve really neglected actually trying to work through my fear and thoughts over getting sick. because i’m so hyperfocused on getting my harm thoughts to diminish and be gone, i haven’t been doing the same for my contamination. i’ve pretty much diagnosed myself with emetophobia. and i know that’s so unhealthy to do especially as someone who’s not diagnosed with anything, but there’s absolutely no way in hell that i don’t have it. i cannot remember a time where being sick wasn’t on the forefront of my mind. and i do physical compulsions for it, but i never really thought i had intrusive thoughts over it. but when this (and past plural) anxiety attack was happening, my mind was telling me “if you just get sick, you won’t have to worry about it?”. then i took a zofran and am having thoughts of “the nausea will come back and you’ll get sick”. my heart is pounding just thinking about it. over the summer when my harm thoughts got extreme, my emetophobia essentially became a backseat thought. where it was still there but i wasn’t that worried over it. and i wished for it to come back but now that it’s here, i would do anything for it to be gone. i’m so back and forth because at least this anxiety is (mostly) keeping me from getting sick as i do anything and everything i can to prevent it. anyways, i’m so sorry this was so long but i had a lot on my mind that i needed to talk about. so much love to y’all 🫶🏻

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I’m so scared of everything .

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