Anonymous

Date posted: 5y ago

Do yall sometimes replay a sexual intrusive thought, or make one up willingly to check and see if you get aroused or get any groinal responses? Is that a checking/testing compulsion or is it real?

jaff

Date posted: 5y ago

It's a checking compulsion, ultimately it will backfire tho. As a thought can be easily manipulated by the ocd part of your brain. The best approach that I've found is to not let the theme of your ocd be the focus of your energy, but instead let your mind learn to cope with the anxiety on it's own. Each time you get triggered your brain and body will become better at dealing with it and eventually dismissing the thoughts willbecome automatic.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y ago

But I'm scared because I'm not diagnosed and I managed to have an orgasm more than once testing myself via masturbation. I don't know what it means, I don't know if it's my fault and I'm so scared it's not OCD. I don't know whether I should blame myself for these compulsions but I feel like such a disgusting piece of shit and I want this gone so badly. I want this erased and never to be remembered again.

lizzy123

Date posted: 5y ago

Trigger warning!!! It can mean your terrified. I was sexually assaulted when i was younger and you can have a strong intense quick orgasm. Doesnt neccessarily mean anything. Your body reacting is sometimes out of your control.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y ago

I'm going to cry, I am so sorry that happened to you, I am so so sorry you had to share this to try and make me feel better. I am so so sorry, I'm really grateful for you doing that and if there's anything I could do to repay you please tell me. FUCK THAT FREAK. I HATE THESE FUCKING FREAKS, I am so sorry that happened to you, I wish you all the joy in the world, because I know you deserve it. I was terrified, just so you know. Thank you so much, I'm sending you all my hugs and all my support and if you ever need me, don't be afraid to let me know.

andrewt_

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 5y ago

Lmaooo I got you ?❤️??

jaff

Date posted: 5y ago

It's part of a cycle of maladaptive coping, because we have a disorder that revolves around fear and worry with no resolution.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y ago

Well when you have a worry about being a freak after orgasming to freaky stuff and willingly thinking about it to check if you get aroused, then of course the "irrational fear" becomes rational. It's hard.

jaff

Date posted: 5y ago

You make yourself masturbate to the thoughts as a compulsion to check, is what I mean. You wouldn't normally do that, which means you can control your mind. One of the things about ocd is that depression makes its symptoms worse how we feel about ourselves is distorted when we are depressed. Recognize and separate yourself from the disorder, and yes you will get better at dealing with this.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y ago

I have masturbated to the thoughts only when my OCD started and after I orgasmed more than once I was so traumatized that I never did it again. I never want to do it again. There was one time where I was in the shower and an intrusive thought persisted really hard as I was masturbating and I tried masturbating to it for like 5 seconds then immediately stopped when I realized that I was actually going flacid and becoming completely unaroused. That was the only time I ever did something similar after those traumatizing compulsions backfired on me. I felt like shit even then. But it showed me that the arousal part is extremely inconsistent and basically reassured me that something non-paraphillic is affecting me. I will never ever test myself again. EVER. It makes me feel like an absolute monster so I avoid it like the plague nowadays. I'm just mad that I'm giving into the checking for arousal via willingly thinking gross things compulsion. I hate these things, but I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT CERTAINTY AND I WANT TO UNDERSTAND WHY THE HELL IT CAUSES GROINAL RESPONSES WHEN IT SHOULDN'T. I just want to be free from all of this.

lizzy123

Date posted: 5y ago

Your welcome! I just want you to know that terror can cause orgasms. It sounds unbelievable but its true.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y ago

I'm so sorry you had to experience something so disgusting and terrifying. I promise I won't disappoint you.

Idk

Date posted: 5y ago

Yes but whenever I don’t do it, I feel like I’m Just denying my sexuality.

andrewt_

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 5y ago

This is definitely a compulsion. The groinal response is usually going to happen when you check because they’re caused by anxiety and the fact that you don’t want them to happen causes them. That’s why they shouldn’t be used as an indication of anything !

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y ago

Thanks andreww. You're always busting through to save my ass.

jaff

Date posted: 5y ago

Ok so just remember that emotions are not facts. We have three minds the emotional the logical and the wise. If your in one more than the other things happen, such as if you are in your emotional mind to much you will use feelings more than facts causing you to make bad decisions or overreact. Anxiety is fear overrun, the good news is that you can train your brain to have better control of these thoughts. Your in control even if you feel a certain way you fear being attracted to a child, but that answers the question in its self. It's not a rationale or logical conclusion, which means its ocd.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y ago

But nobody has any idea how I could orgasm from testing myself and I have no idea and I don't know what it means... I want a concrete answer as to how the hell this happened and nobody is stepping up instead sending me OCD articles about arousal that I've already seen. I'm so terrified that I'm like a disgusting severe case for OCD or that it's not OCD and I'm so scared that I'm never gonna get better because these checking/testing compulsions will haunt me for life. I am living in hell.

jaff

Date posted: 5y ago

Knowing that dont focus on the theme focus on training yourself to overcome ocds distorted thinking.

jaff

Date posted: 5y ago

You orgasm is derived from emotions aka feelings, and the physical stimulation of your body. Take away the physical in this situation and you will not have an orgasm. A guy can have a blank mind and still masturbate to orgasm, basically it's not going to give you any certainty and will only make you depressed in the long run.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y ago

But I orgasmed extremely quickly....like in SECONDS. What does that mean???? I've read that quick orgasms happen because of feelings of guilt stress and anxiety about orgasming and I've read studies that suggest that men who have anxiety cant supress their arousal when trying to and in fact get even more aroused just by anxiously trying to suppress it. I need an answer because I feel like such a freak and I want to erase it from ever happening. I just want to be myself again.

jaff

Date posted: 5y ago

If you have to force yourself focus on it, you control your mind

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y ago

I don't know what I'm forcing. I want to control my mind. I have intrusive thoughts, doubts and fears about more than just pedophilia. I want my old life back......I feel so gross...I feel so defeated. You think I'll ever get better?

jaff

Date posted: 5y ago

Have you been to the intrusivethoughts.org they have alot of helpful information and advice.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y ago

I have and even though they said that an unwanted orgasm can happen they didn't specify any details.

mikulover

Date posted: 20w ago

is this a compulsion or a form of rumination?

sometimes, to try and prove my fear wrong i’ll be like “ okay, let me think of this REALISTICALLY. would i REALISTICALLY feel this way or do this thing? “ then i come up with scenarios in my head on how i think i would realistically ( or logically ) do something but then my feelings go against that thing i thought of then i start getting anxiety and start to fear that i would actually want my fear to happen or that i’d feel a certain way that proves my fear true. it’s basically just checking how i feel about something i think of to try and prove my fear wrong, checking my emotions or checking how i think i’d realistically feel towards it.. but then i may react “ unrealistically “ it goes wrong and i freak out

andrea_sam730

Date posted: 16w ago

Intrusive thoughts during self pleasuring :/

I’m really struggling with something related to me ocd, and I would appreciate kind and supportive advice. If you can’t relate or don’t think anything you have to say would be helpful, I kindly ask pls refrain from commenting this is a really sensitive topic for me. Recently, I’ve noticed a pattern that feels something extremely new and distressing. The first time it happened I remember telling myself before self pleasuring that I am in control no matter what thought comes into my mind because I wanted to prove to myself that these thoughts are just from OCD and I know who I am and an intrusive that came out of no where, and i suddenly felt an intense fear that I was acting on it. In the moment I genuinely felt like I did. And afterword, I panicked and started questioning myself. This SAME FEELING has happened three times in a row each time, the intrusive thought was unwanted and random, and completely against my morals most recently it involved pocd and it feels even worse because it generally felt like I acted on it the thought in the moment while I was self pleasuring the panic doesn’t hit until afterwards when I stop :/ I start thinking that maybe I generally made a mistake and I’m now just realizing that it’s wrong because it generally feels like that :( but when I actually think about it again goes against my morals and values doesn’t make sense it feels incredibly real, and I can’t seem to shake this feeling off that I may have acted on it I’m terrified because I never wanted these thoughts in the first place. And I definitely didn’t choose them. If I had known, I would’ve had these intrusive thoughts I wouldn’t have self pleasured in the first place but it’s extremely hard to convince myself that this may be OCD because I feel like I have no other reason to believe that I didn’t act on it :/

POCD

My OCD Academia

Date posted: 16w ago

Groinal Arousals/Responses Are Driving Me Insane

Every time I go to bed late and I’m falling asleep, I suddenly get an intrusive thought of a child’s face and my groinal area always responds to it. It’s such an uncomfortable experience. I am way too tired to try and freak out so I end up falling asleep. The next morning I’m always trying to figure out whether I had the groinal response first or after the thought. I start giving OCD power but it feels like If I let it go, then I’m in denial or whatever. I don’t want to ever do anything sexual with a child. I don’t even feel comfortable talking platonically with people who are 17, much less a child. My therapist says that I have a deep rooted fear that I’m this horrible person and that OCD loves to feed off of it. When you get a groinal response, it makes the thought that much more real. I never want these things to happen. I want to only be into adults. It’s so discomforting and stressful. Especially since I’m hyper checking how anxious I am, and if I find I didn’t really have much anxiety, then I’m like “well if I didn’t have anxiety, what does this mean?” And more questions occur til I end up in a rabbit hole

POCD

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Do yall sometimes replay a sexual intrusive thought, or make one up willingly to check and see if you get aroused or get any groinal responses? Is that a checking/testing compulsion or is it real?

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