Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

Do yall sometimes replay a sexual intrusive thought, or make one up willingly to check and see if you get aroused or get any groinal responses? Is that a checking/testing compulsion or is it real?

lizzy123

Date posted: 5y

Trigger warning!!! It can mean your terrified. I was sexually assaulted when i was younger and you can have a strong intense quick orgasm. Doesnt neccessarily mean anything. Your body reacting is sometimes out of your control.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

I'm going to cry, I am so sorry that happened to you, I am so so sorry you had to share this to try and make me feel better. I am so so sorry, I'm really grateful for you doing that and if there's anything I could do to repay you please tell me. FUCK THAT FREAK. I HATE THESE FUCKING FREAKS, I am so sorry that happened to you, I wish you all the joy in the world, because I know you deserve it. I was terrified, just so you know. Thank you so much, I'm sending you all my hugs and all my support and if you ever need me, don't be afraid to let me know.

jaff

Date posted: 5y

It's a checking compulsion, ultimately it will backfire tho. As a thought can be easily manipulated by the ocd part of your brain. The best approach that I've found is to not let the theme of your ocd be the focus of your energy, but instead let your mind learn to cope with the anxiety on it's own. Each time you get triggered your brain and body will become better at dealing with it and eventually dismissing the thoughts willbecome automatic.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

But I'm scared because I'm not diagnosed and I managed to have an orgasm more than once testing myself via masturbation. I don't know what it means, I don't know if it's my fault and I'm so scared it's not OCD. I don't know whether I should blame myself for these compulsions but I feel like such a disgusting piece of shit and I want this gone so badly. I want this erased and never to be remembered again.

andrewt_

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 5y

Lmaooo I got you ?❤️??

jaff

Date posted: 5y

It's part of a cycle of maladaptive coping, because we have a disorder that revolves around fear and worry with no resolution.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

Well when you have a worry about being a freak after orgasming to freaky stuff and willingly thinking about it to check if you get aroused, then of course the "irrational fear" becomes rational. It's hard.

jaff

Date posted: 5y

You make yourself masturbate to the thoughts as a compulsion to check, is what I mean. You wouldn't normally do that, which means you can control your mind. One of the things about ocd is that depression makes its symptoms worse how we feel about ourselves is distorted when we are depressed. Recognize and separate yourself from the disorder, and yes you will get better at dealing with this.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

I have masturbated to the thoughts only when my OCD started and after I orgasmed more than once I was so traumatized that I never did it again. I never want to do it again. There was one time where I was in the shower and an intrusive thought persisted really hard as I was masturbating and I tried masturbating to it for like 5 seconds then immediately stopped when I realized that I was actually going flacid and becoming completely unaroused. That was the only time I ever did something similar after those traumatizing compulsions backfired on me. I felt like shit even then. But it showed me that the arousal part is extremely inconsistent and basically reassured me that something non-paraphillic is affecting me. I will never ever test myself again. EVER. It makes me feel like an absolute monster so I avoid it like the plague nowadays. I'm just mad that I'm giving into the checking for arousal via willingly thinking gross things compulsion. I hate these things, but I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT CERTAINTY AND I WANT TO UNDERSTAND WHY THE HELL IT CAUSES GROINAL RESPONSES WHEN IT SHOULDN'T. I just want to be free from all of this.

lizzy123

Date posted: 5y

Your welcome! I just want you to know that terror can cause orgasms. It sounds unbelievable but its true.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

I'm so sorry you had to experience something so disgusting and terrifying. I promise I won't disappoint you.

Idk

Date posted: 5y

Yes but whenever I don’t do it, I feel like I’m Just denying my sexuality.

andrewt_

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 5y

This is definitely a compulsion. The groinal response is usually going to happen when you check because they’re caused by anxiety and the fact that you don’t want them to happen causes them. That’s why they shouldn’t be used as an indication of anything !

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

Thanks andreww. You're always busting through to save my ass.

jaff

Date posted: 5y

Ok so just remember that emotions are not facts. We have three minds the emotional the logical and the wise. If your in one more than the other things happen, such as if you are in your emotional mind to much you will use feelings more than facts causing you to make bad decisions or overreact. Anxiety is fear overrun, the good news is that you can train your brain to have better control of these thoughts. Your in control even if you feel a certain way you fear being attracted to a child, but that answers the question in its self. It's not a rationale or logical conclusion, which means its ocd.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

But nobody has any idea how I could orgasm from testing myself and I have no idea and I don't know what it means... I want a concrete answer as to how the hell this happened and nobody is stepping up instead sending me OCD articles about arousal that I've already seen. I'm so terrified that I'm like a disgusting severe case for OCD or that it's not OCD and I'm so scared that I'm never gonna get better because these checking/testing compulsions will haunt me for life. I am living in hell.

jaff

Date posted: 5y

Knowing that dont focus on the theme focus on training yourself to overcome ocds distorted thinking.

jaff

Date posted: 5y

You orgasm is derived from emotions aka feelings, and the physical stimulation of your body. Take away the physical in this situation and you will not have an orgasm. A guy can have a blank mind and still masturbate to orgasm, basically it's not going to give you any certainty and will only make you depressed in the long run.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

But I orgasmed extremely quickly....like in SECONDS. What does that mean???? I've read that quick orgasms happen because of feelings of guilt stress and anxiety about orgasming and I've read studies that suggest that men who have anxiety cant supress their arousal when trying to and in fact get even more aroused just by anxiously trying to suppress it. I need an answer because I feel like such a freak and I want to erase it from ever happening. I just want to be myself again.

jaff

Date posted: 5y

If you have to force yourself focus on it, you control your mind

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

I don't know what I'm forcing. I want to control my mind. I have intrusive thoughts, doubts and fears about more than just pedophilia. I want my old life back......I feel so gross...I feel so defeated. You think I'll ever get better?

jaff

Date posted: 5y

Have you been to the intrusivethoughts.org they have alot of helpful information and advice.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

I have and even though they said that an unwanted orgasm can happen they didn't specify any details.

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 23w

Help, Meta OCD/POCD?

I’ve been feeling the urge to avoid intimacy or purposefully engage (for reassurance that I won’t give into a compulsion) because of intrusive thoughts and fear that I’ll “check/test” my reactions. My OCD is making me so scared that I’ll purposefully think of a child and try to see if I like it. It’s so complicated but I guess I’m mentally checking if I would mentally check during intimacy. I’ve even envisioned myself checking and it’s making me so nauseous. I know it’s a compulsion like any other but the sound of “touching yourself to the thought of a child” sounds atrocious and vile. I’m terrified I’ll automatically start checking next time I am being intimate. I truly feel so worried. If anyone has gone through something similar, I’d appreciate hearing your experience. Or if anyone has any advice?

Em2003

Date posted: 19w

Purposely Picturing Taboo Things?

Am I the only one who experiences this, or is it more common than I think? Sometimes, I find myself imagining what a couple’s sex life might look like, or what a person’s body might be like. I think it’s driven by curiosity, and I focus on it for a few seconds. When it comes to family members, teenagers, or anyone I feel uncomfortable imagining in this way, I used to be able to shake it off as an intrusive thought. But lately, I can’t seem to let go of it anymore. I’ve become used to the anxiety, but I’m stuck questioning what this means about me, especially since I’ve taken time to think about it. This is really stressing me out because I feel like a pervert. I’m hoping that this is something more common than I realize and that OCD is just distorting something. I feel like I really need some insight here. Any advice?

Faker6532

Date posted: 15w

Tingling or arousal sensations?

Does anyone else when they have the thoughts, they feel against it, but they still get arousal or tenglings sensations in the groinal area? Because this is what I experienced today and I feel like crap. This is going to be very triggering for a lot of you, but there are a lot of times that I notice things from kids. For example, there is a thirteen year old kid who looks very developed for her age, and I take notice of (and this already sounds creepy to me) her chest. Today with my thoughts, I imagined as if I were touching it, and although I usually "no no or "I don't want to do that", she is a kid, etc., I still get responses in my groinal area, and It felt very real. Even now, I feel as though I am faking it, even though I groan 😮‍💨 from it, and feel as though I am a fraud. Does anyone relate?

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Do yall sometimes replay a sexual intrusive thought, or make one up willingly to check and see if you get aroused or get any groinal responses? Is that a checking/testing compulsion or is it real?

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