What’s wrong with me…

Now that I’m over real event ocd I have talked about it so much I feel I have made my mistakes seem so much grander than they actually are and now my current paranoia ocd is latching on to that and saying that someone out to get me is going to make it seem like I did something I didn’t do and bc I made my real event ocd mistakes seem bad when they aren’t even that bad then it’s going to somehow seem true and framing me will be easy? Is this a gut feeling that this will happen or just fear because I think the world is filled with malicious people? Also is it normal with real event OCD to talk about your mistakes like they’re something horrible and then when you have a clear head you realize you’re fine? And is it normal that with paranoi ocd I fear that because I talked about real event ocd that now it’s easier to frame me even though I didn’t do anything actually?

Ranger_867

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

All of this is “normal” for people with OCD. I start the day very anxious and shaking because this feels very scary and real, but by the end of the day I laugh at myself and say why am I freaking out? Only to rev it up the next morning. We’ve got this friend. I’m always happy to talk.

Charmander5

Date posted: 1y

@Ranger_867 I really appreciate your replies. Makes me feel less alone and your wording is very calming. How do I be happy in the now? All I think about if the future and the things I fear. It’s starting to overwhelm me to the point I don’t like life itself.

Ranger_867

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@Charmander5 I really do understand. Someone once told me that we have to get good and feeling bad. A part of that is focusing on what we truly know. I was taking my dog for a walk today and found myself ruminating - I had to do the 5 Senses Game (getting out of bed is the hardest thing when you’re scared and anxious). But, forcing myself to go for a walk works wonders. Also, if you’re not in therapy or treatment, you really should contact a clinic or a mental health doctor. I think it’s great for some that can manage this without medication, but I know that I’ll always need it. One year ago, I was in your situation. I was having massive panic attacks and lost 40 lbs. I couldn’t eat. Somehow, I kept my family and my job. But, I used every resource I could find. I’m still taking my meds and doing weekly therapy on NOCD. I believe in you.

Charmander5

Date posted: 1y

@Ranger_867 Thank you. As cliche as this sounds, you help giving me some sort of hope. When I was younger I had debilitating OCD, overcame it and now seemed to have relapsed. I’m sorry for asking so many questions or burdening you with my problems as you probably have your own things to deal with. Do you have any advice on how to deal with the “what ifs”, I know the stereotypical answer usually comes along understanding the probability of something but that does not help me at all. My fear has to do with losing my partner over something I did not do (being framed or accused by an old friend). It feels so much like a gut feeling :(

Ranger_867

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@Charmander5 My friend, do you know what a paradox is? Google it. That’s what this stupid OCD is. How do we deal with the what ifs? We don’t. At least that’s how we beat it. We don’t deal with them because technically, they don’t exist. How do you deal with Santa Claus coming down the chimney every Dec 24? I mean, a big fat old creepy dude is literally breaking into your home every Dec 24…what do you do to deal with him? Do we freak out and panic - laying awake with a shotgun? No, because he’s not real. When my mind is clear (usually at night), the answer is so clear and simple. Just like Inside Out 2 (favorite character is now Anxiety) - we’ve given the keys to someone (OCD) that shouldn’t be driving the bus. We do nothing because there is no problem to solve. Our OCD has determined that there is a problem, but it doesn’t really exist. So, what do we do? We live our lives in the present moment - dealing with the “what IS”. What is happening right now is I’m talking to my friend Chadmander with my puppy sitting next to me, hearing the fan woosh and him snore, and thinking what type of cereal I want to munch on. It may be cliche or stereotypical…but it is the absolute hardest thing to accept. I don’t know about you, but I AM A PROBLEM SOLVER. That is in my core… I now understand why. If my parents fought, I had to find a way to patch things up. Endless examples. I solve problems. Most of us are like that. That’s why we get stuck, because this isn’t a problem we can solve. So, maybe maybe not. And we coach each other. Support each other. You and I both got this! I’m here for you.

amelia:3

Date posted: 25w

how to deal with real event + false memory??

im going to be vague here, but basically i did something in the past that i regret and it became a huge point of my OCD but i have talked to my therapist and i have mostly moved past it. i watched a video by an OCD youtuber that really put it into perspective. anyway, i have been with minimal worry for a few days, but now im having worries related to i think false memory? basically it’s like “oh but what if i said/ did this and just forgot that means i harmed this person im a bad person”. to me it sounds like textbook OCD but im just wondering if anyone else has experienced false memory / real event at the same time. i have a really horrible memory which is making it even more stressful. any responses are appreciated!

Buddyfriend

Date posted: 21w

Real Event Ocd

My ocd latches on to past mistakes. i fear that God is formulating a situation to “give me what i deserve.” I will string together completely unrelated events into the predictors/indicators that my ‘judgement day’ is near and all my wrongdoings will be exposed for everyone to see and my life will be ruined by finally getting the punishment i deserve. I fear that God is going to use someone who is out to get me, wants revenge, hates me, etc, to carry this out. The associated compulsion is that i keep track of my mistakes and practice arguments for defending myself so that when the time comes im ready for anything. I also punish myself with guilt so that i can “get ahead” on any bad feelings that i would experience on my judgement day. It’s all so exhausting. Does anyone relate? Does anyone have a similar existence? Would love to hear about others’ experiences. Thank you for reading.

ItsMeEli

Date posted: 16w

Real event/ guilt OCD

Hey guys, for the past three months I’ve been obsessing over a mistake I made about 6 months ago, I constantly have panic attacks and wake up in fight or flight mode I have convinced myself that someone is gonna find me somehow and punish me. I have endlessly looked up reassurance that what I did wouldn’t get me in trouble or something, I have filled up 5 different ChatGPT chats and it tells me it’s 100% certain nothing will happen. But then I convince myself well everyone says not to trust it and then I just spiral again. The point is I’m just scared, I’ve convinced myself this isn’t OCD because it’s something I actually did wrong. I can’t stop looking for reassurance because that’s the only thing that makes me feel safe anymore. Everyone tells me, just say maybe, maybe not, but my brain has convinced me the stakes are too high. I’m too scared and I don’t know what to do.

Real Events OCD

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