Really bad flare up at work

Everyone is frustrating me at work and I’m about to crash out😭!! Maybe it’s how I grew up and have been gaslit a lot but does anyone ever feel like whatever they do they are in the “wrong?” I don’t know …my coworker made me feel like that. What’s wrong to her might not be wrong to me and vise versa. I just wanna scream and throw hands lol. I don’t know if anyone else feels like this. And they wanna have this conversation in front of customers and then I look like the “bad guy” 🙄. So over it. Workplace is toxic asf and I’m trying to find a new job but it seems impossible these days . I feel like I’m not the best at conversations on the spot. That’s why I keep quiet so ion look dumb, but both coworkers came up to me and approach me. I feel like I try and smile and nobody really smiles back. Or when I say thank you and go to places like ulta, all the girls are bitchy. It makes me think am I not smiling enough? Am I doing something wrong? Etc. Maybe it just the people I’m around . I just feel nothing but anger and I’m trying to calm down but I really just wanna go off

I've been having a really tough time lately with a recent workplace interaction that occurrd today, and my mind just keeps replaying the events over and over. It feels like an endless loop, and I'm finding it incredibly hard to let go. I'm trying to figure out if this intense replaying is more about my OCD, or if it's a typical reaction to a stressful situation that's being amplified by my OCD tendencies. The specific details of the incident involve a colleague engaging in a racially insensitive discussion that I tried to disengage from. Despite my attempts to steer the conversation away and remove myself, the situation escalated with direct confrontation and accusations. This led to significant emotional distress for me. Later in the day, the same colleague misunderstood another conversation, making baseless accusations and publicly confronting me in a very aggressive way. I kept quiet throughout, just a bit of muttering. The emotional toll of these interactions has been immense. Now, my mind is stuck. I can't seem to stop dwelling on every word, every gesture, and every imagined alternative outcome. Hoping I'm not viewed as the "angry black woman" which is such an affair narrative why can't I state grievances of racism, without this narrative. * how do you manage the relentless replaying of stressful workplace interactions? What are your go-to coping mechanisms when your mind gets "stuck" on these loops? * Have you found any specific strategies helpful for navigating interpersonal conflicts at work when your OCD makes it difficult to process and move past them? * When you're feeling emotionally vulnerable due to work stress, what helps you prevent these situations from turning into prolonged rumination cycles? Any advice or shared experiences would be incredibly helpful. I'll be so grateful for any assistance. I just feel like I'm not good at life.

I’ve been spiraling since a workplace incident last Thursday. I had an uncomfortable and tense interaction with a colleague, and it triggered a lot of obsessive rumination. I spent the whole weekend crying, panicking, and replaying everything that happened. Today, I went back to work — and it was really hard. Everyone acted like nothing happened. They joke with him, treat him normally, even though he bullied me and I’m just… sitting there. I didn’t greet him, and he didn’t greet me. I kept to myself, answered questions when I had to, but didn’t socialize. Now I feel scared. Like I’m walking on eggshells. I keep thinking: “What if I say something wrong?” “What if I make a mistake and they say, ‘You see? She’s the problem’? Acting holier than thou & she's a bigot too!" I know this is partly my OCD and trauma talking, but it feels so real. Like I’m one wrong move away from being blamed or alienated. I’ve even started eating lunch in my car to feel safe. I’m trying so hard to hold boundaries, stay professional, and protect my peace. But I’m exhausted. I feel like a shell of myself and I’m scared I’ll break. I was already a little on eggshells cause most of my colleagues say or do something bigoted every now & then...my bigotry ocd is always scared that when I don't confront them. I'm condoning it & becoming them. I'm exhausted. I want to work remotely so I can stay isolated from people. I don't think I'll ever heal from this. I feel like this incident is one of those that permanently changes you. Like when my parents & siblings says I'm not the same anymore. I'm more panicked etc.