Obsessed with people?

@ninkaninga Are you able to look at my last post? I tried posting about it, but didn’t get any responses? I explained in that one though. 😊

@Scared1 Dont think so where can i find it? 😕

@ninkaninga Here it is: I started with the worst OCD you could possibly imagine last August. I woke up one day and randomly started analyzing every last part of my being. It was as if I was awoken to parts of me that I was unaware of. I couldn’t eat, sleep, lost 20 lbs., cried multiple times a day, had intrusive thoughts, and was hanging on by a thread. I confessed the most cringy things to my therapist who I ended up seeing twice a week for 2 hours at a time. The embarrassment, the shame, the way I dissected things that most people would keep to themselves was earth shattering to me. I told her I thought I was a bad person, weird, & saw life in an abnormal way. I also told her how I feel off. For example, I can hear a song and it can totally make me romanticize someone to the extreme where ai can lay out their whole like in my mind, imagining them even listening to the song. Of course, I told her way more in depth, but every single thing I told her she said was normal. Even the things that made me feel like a bad person, full of myself, crazy, or just plain weird. One of the things that really, really rocked my world was something I have done as far back as I can possibly remember and that was becoming so infatuated with people I liked. I will do things like watch their favorite movies just to see exactly what they see on the t.v. screen, or to have the same sort of feelings they have towards a movie. Same thing with a song. I will listen to their favorite song just to hear the same lyrics or the beat they hear. Doing these things makes me feel closer to them. Almost in the same way that people will stand in the same place that their favorite celebrity stood or touch the same light pole that their favorite celebrity touched. I’ll even do this with books. Just to read the exact same words they read or eat the same food they like. I’ll even take the long way home just to drive the same highway the do. There’s times where I’m laying on the couch watching some random tv show and I’ll pull up Google maps just to look around their area to see what their neighborhood looks like. Doing these things makes me feel more connected to them. It kind of brings me in to their world. I have always done these types of things in which my therapist says is harmless, but if I think about the people I have in my life who I’ve done this with, it scares me because I’m afraid they’ll think I’m absolutely nuts, obsessed, and maybe even scare them off. I’m afraid they’d be scared by me. Eventually this all wears off after a while, but I am so curious to know if there’s anyone else out there who does the same thing or thinks in the same way. I have never had a problem with making or keeping friends. I’m 41 and have the same friends I’ve had since elementary school and middle school. I’ve never thought of myself as weird and have never had issues with others thinking I’m weird. It’s just like my own secret little world, but does everyone do this sort of thing or is it just me? Of course with OCD I have worried a tremendous amount of times if I had some kind of mental illness and have been told by two different therapist that I do not. I’m just insanely anxious they say. Please no mean comments. OCD is hard enough. 😊

@Scared1 Well, i can’t relate. But i used to do these things when i admired someone i wanted to be exactly like them but i think this is not ocd. Idk about yours 😕 but i see it bothers you and its hard

@ninkaninga Yes, I don’t think it’s ocd either. I never really paid attention to any of this until OCD started. Then I got scared that I’m obsessed over someone.

@Scared1 Also thanks for replying. 😊