- Date posted
- 34w ago
False memory question
When you had your first false memory experience did you think it was real because you didn’t know ocd could do that or did you feel like something didn’t feel right about it and suspect it was ocd?
When you had your first false memory experience did you think it was real because you didn’t know ocd could do that or did you feel like something didn’t feel right about it and suspect it was ocd?
For me, my false memories began as less imaginations and more so my inability to accurate recall an event and, most importantly, my INTENTIONS in that moment. I began questioning everything I’ve done and whether I did things in good faith or not. I could not look back at a memory without questioning parts of it. I became my own gaslighter. Which is how intrusive thoughts affect us, so I definitely can see the connection between false memories and OCD. I did not know at the time what I was experiencing though, because I didn’t even know what OCD was. But I DID know I was terribly, terribly paranoid.
I had no idea it was ocd or that I even had it. It scared the crap out of me and it still does. It was only after researching “can you do something and block it out” did I come across false memory ocd
I didn’t know it was ocd. I didn’t know that I had ocd. The particular thought stuck with me for months and months, and even though it made no sense, the shame and guilt felt like something I could never get past. After watching a ton of the NOCD q&a steams on YouTube, getting my diagnosis, and doing a couple months of erp, I’m doing significantly better and it’s much easier to identify “ocd” thoughts and not ruminate on them.
I went to bed one night in November, and I can't quite say what happened, but I believed that I had a "memory" from childhood. I won't discuss what, but I had "remembered" doing something sickeningly awful. This thing came to me almost as clear as a real memory. I remember thinking something along the lines of 'How could I forget doing something like that?' followed by a feeling of complete horror and terror. I have moments of "clarity" where I can't believe that I'm questioning doing this thing, and it appears obvious that it's false. But now, I'm more than often believing that I did. I am spending 24/7 fighting my head, and it's taking me to dark places. I know this is the worst thing to do, but you don't understand, if this is real then I am a monster and I can't just adopt the 'maybe I did, maybe I didn't approach'. I just can't. I have to know. I'm so scared. My entire life is on the line. I don't have anyone to talk to about this. Literally no one. I feel like I'm insane, like I'm a monster, like I'm hiding my true identity from everyone I love. Does this sound like False Memory? Or am I in denial, trying to convince myself this didn't happen? Why does it feel so real? And why do I have moments of clarity? I also had my first nightmare about it last night. Please someone help me.
im going to be vague here, but basically i did something in the past that i regret and it became a huge point of my OCD but i have talked to my therapist and i have mostly moved past it. i watched a video by an OCD youtuber that really put it into perspective. anyway, i have been with minimal worry for a few days, but now im having worries related to i think false memory? basically it’s like “oh but what if i said/ did this and just forgot that means i harmed this person im a bad person”. to me it sounds like textbook OCD but im just wondering if anyone else has experienced false memory / real event at the same time. i have a really horrible memory which is making it even more stressful. any responses are appreciated!
I know I was here earlier on with a question as well lol but has anyone ever found that when a new false memory takes its place at the forefront of your mind, it's almost easier to disregard the old false memories and say "Yeah that stuff didn't actually happen that way". It feels like OCD giving you a little reward for letting it place a new, shinier false memory in your head. Anyone experience the same thing? Maybe I've asked a similar question before.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond