When you had your first false memory experience did you think it was real because you didn’t know ocd could do that or did you feel like something didn’t feel right about it and suspect it was ocd?
For me, my false memories began as less imaginations and more so my inability to accurate recall an event and, most importantly, my INTENTIONS in that moment. I began questioning everything I’ve done and whether I did things in good faith or not. I could not look back at a memory without questioning parts of it. I became my own gaslighter. Which is how intrusive thoughts affect us, so I definitely can see the connection between false memories and OCD. I did not know at the time what I was experiencing though, because I didn’t even know what OCD was. But I DID know I was terribly, terribly paranoid.
I had no idea it was ocd or that I even had it. It scared the crap out of me and it still does. It was only after researching “can you do something and block it out” did I come across false memory ocd
I didn’t know it was ocd. I didn’t know that I had ocd. The particular thought stuck with me for months and months, and even though it made no sense, the shame and guilt felt like something I could never get past. After watching a ton of the NOCD q&a steams on YouTube, getting my diagnosis, and doing a couple months of erp, I’m doing significantly better and it’s much easier to identify “ocd” thoughts and not ruminate on them.
Does anyone have advice on distinguishing between real event ocd and false memory ocd? If my current obsession is whether this intrusive image in my head is a real memory even though there’s no evidence it is, does that seem more like real event ocd or false memory? I feel like I’m getting into a trap of worrying that I’m obsessing over a real event instead of a false image and keep having thoughts that say “you know you did this” even though I really don’t think I did.
Without trying to seek reassurance, I’m wondering if anyone has insight on identifying an intrusive thought vs reality. Something that’s always really helped ground me in moments of false memory ocd is clearly remembering the exact moment the thought arose and how it started as “what if I cheated and don’t remember.” Then the images come and are extremely distressing, but I’ve always found some comfort in coming back to that moment of “this started as what if.” It feels like my brain is almost getting more creative with the thoughts now, and I’ve been having probably the worst anxiety of my life the past couple months after another intrusive thought entered my mind. I woke up after a night drinking and thought to myself “did you kiss your friend and don’t remember?” (Didn’t happen, undeniably proved). The rest of the day I stayed anxious about other things I could have done and poured over all my memories of the night. Then the next day I finally had found some peace based on all the evidence from my friends who were with me that nothing bad happened. I then thought “what about when you went to the bathroom,” which I hadn’t really been thinking about before, and then my mind immediately started flashing with images of me performing sex acts in the bathroom with some person who has no name, face, details, or anything I remember about interacting with them. I think I’m just concerned that this was a moment of genuine memory recall since I hadn’t been thinking about the bathroom before, and it was more of a sudden flash of images and “did you do that” vs “what if you did that.” I’m wondering how others are able to identify that something is an intrusive thought vs reality.
any advice for when you get false memories that feel really real? especially something that had JUST happened, it’s like ur brain distorts it. i feel like i do something wrong 24/7 then i get over it and ocd latched onto something new
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