I feel like I am constantly questioning every word and action of my boyfriend and I don’t know how to stop. It is driving us both insane. It has gotten to the point where I am picking apart the smallest things and making him explain them if he does not word it a certain way. How do i stop? :(
I do the same thing. It breaks my heart feeling that I know that I’m the reason that the stress is building between us! Driving is the hardest one for us. It gets to the point that I just need to just close my eyes and breathe.
I have something similar :( my rocd is partner focused and any bad thing/decision my partner makes/does I have to question him over it and have every detail and it stresses him out because I’m asking the same questions over and over but worded differently. Every time he says something “wrong” my ocd stops him in the moment and I need to question him
This is really strange for me because your description sounds exactly what I was going through before as well. Somehow along the way I have been able to lessen it but I really had a hard time doing this with my mom and sister :0 I didn’t realize this could be a ocd thing - I relate so much
I always wonder “what if I’m not attracted to my partner” “what if I still have feelings for other people” “what if I cheated on my partner” “what if my partner cheats on me” “what If my partner annoys me and I don’t actually want to be with him” and I’ll do this so much over and over that I get so worked up I’ll criticize him, over analyze him, feel as though I don’t like him. But then an hour later after I find relief ( from telling him, looking things up, talking to my sisters about it) I’ll be in love with him but I won’t fully feel it because I’ll just be thinking about how I just felt before and how bad it was or anticipate it again for the future. So I’m constantly ruining it for myself, and it hurts so bad because he’s so perfect for me and so kind to me and everything about our relationship is right but my mind tries to convince me of other things and it feels so real.
so a lot of the time i worry i don’t love him. but recently, i’ve been obsessing (losing sleep too) over if he doesn’t love me. i’m constantly worrying he’s not doing enough and he’s not right for me and it makes me so anxious i can barely breathe. is this normal???
rocd is ruining me and my life and my relationship. i feel so disconnected from my boyfriend bc of it and it’s so frustrating but i also feel so numb that i can’t even feel frustrated or upset or anxious or anything bad when the bad thoughts come bc it’s been so excessive over the past couple of months. i don’t feel anything like i use to and i just wish i could love him peacefully and purely the way i use to with no worry or doubt. i feel like he deserves better bc my mind is constantly telling me i want someone else secretly or makes over analyze anything and everything with him or about him and creates so much doubt in my mind. it feels so real to the point that i feel like i’m betraying him and even though i’m not actually DOING anything to him or behind his back or anything it feels like i would be lying and deceiving him to continue being a good girlfriend and just being good to him if that makes sense. like when i’m actually with him or talking to him it’s mostly good im not thinking badly too much but as soon as he’s gone it all comes and it feels like i’m hiding a different, bad, personality from him when he’s not around. he’s such a good person and i’ve done everything to be so good to him bc i want to and he deserves it all. but inside i feel like don’t know myself at all anymore. i want to get past it but i feel like even if i do i’ll feel like i’m hiding a past betrayal from him. i don’t want to lose him. can anyone help with any of this or share ways they’ve gotten past this.
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