POCD fear of getting in trouble.

I’ve had” POCD” for quite some time now, but I’ve had OCD since I was young maybe around 12, 13 years old when I first got diagnosed with POCD I was 17 because that’s when it started and it was very distressing. I would constantly search up symptoms and signs I would constantly think about if I ever did something in my past that I didn’t notice was a sign of being a P, I would also go so far as to not talking to my younger siblings, and staying away from places that had children. I had a constant fear that I would not be able to control myself and I would hurt a child but now that I’m 20 it’s still has not gone away it’s not as bad as it used to be but I get flareups when I’m stressed or I’m all of the alone for a huge amount of time. Or I overwork myself. Now my feelings are different. I don’t respond to the POCD the same as I used to. I will hide my feelings for six months maybe three months at a time and burst out into tears of how stressed I am and then I have to confess everything I did that I felt was wrong and I’ve always done this, but I’m starting to think I don’t have POCD and I’m just in denial. I still can’t except it and I’m always confused and searching up things in hopes that if I am I just accept it so I’m worried that I am a p and I’m just not excepting it I have one more thing to say I read this article when I think I was about 18 and this man talked about how p can be in denial have intrusive thoughts, and feel shame and guilt, and still be a p and every time I still think about it.

Nica

Date posted: 1y

Are you okay g to your therapist about this? If not, you need to so you can overcome this.

Fullmoon21

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@Nica I don’t do the homework as much and I don’t see my therapist as much because I’m so busy, I do need to put in the work but I don’t feel a need to cause I feel it’s not working.

Nica

Date posted: 1y

@Fullmoon20 I highly suggest doing why needs to be done or else you will stall in your recovery and/or slip backwards.

Steven55!

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@Fullmoon20 - How long were you in therapy? Is your therapist a trained OCD therapist who uses ERP?

Fullmoon21

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

Also, I want to add I’m more afraid of getting in trouble not saying that I want to hurt a child because I would never do that, but I am more afraid of getting in trouble and everybody looking at me like I am a disgusting monster .

j hoop

Date posted: 1y

Diffrence being they may feel shame and guilt but the thoughts are still enjoyable to them

Fullmoon21

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@j hoop Yeah if there’s that.

HOY

Date posted: 23w

What is happening to me (Warning)

I fear I may have POCD, I am terrified of being a pedophile. my symptoms were initially strong surges of anxiety. I made the mistake of looking up what pedophilia is about and now I fear I am one. I have a bad masturbation problem and that didnt help, as now I feel a weird feeling down below and its distressing me. I'm only 20, this never happened to me before and now I only feel confusion and doubt, Ive cried like never before cause of this.

TurbulentSaq112

Date posted: 17w

POCD without guilt or shame

I am 15 years old and my POCD feels like its not POCD, i feel like i like my intrusive thoughts, but i have more intrusive thoughts about having intrusive thoughts, and i feel like i cant enjoy the things i normally enjoy anymore, like calling with my girlfriend and joking with her because this is still in the back of my mind, its making me question morals and if i ever even viewed P as completely wrong and i hate this so much, i love my nieces and nephews and when they're over i know id never do anything with my intrusive thoughts but when they arent present i feel like i like my thoughts. Before this i was dealing with HOCD and ROCD and i wish i could go back to that

POCD

Shaodidi

Date posted: 11w

Doubting pocd

So I just read a Reddit post about how this guy found out that he was a pedo because of how he started feeling that he was still attracted to middle schoolers as a 14 year old in high school and it never changed even when he got into adulthood. I’m currently under the age of 16 and I’m worried of my attraction feelings I felt towards some kids I’ve seen on social media and real life, I’m not sure if they are false or not. I have gotten a diagnosis, I remember lying on 2 questions, saying I didn’t feel aroused and that i don’t enjoy the thoughts n feelings. I’m not sure if i enjoy the thoughts and feelings, and now im worried i about it, i dont feel worry dread panic or shame and disgust when I get those thoughts and feelings anymore. I also remember that when i was 14 I felt attracted to a 12 or 11 year old, i kept going back to look at her idk why, but i think that i was worried because I didn’t want to be attracted to younger aged ppl. Im worried that all of these feelings of attraction aren’t false and that they are a reflection of who i am. I do not wish to be a pedo, nor do I wish to like kids. I know that I won’t hurt kids, but I’m scared that I am a pedo because of the feelings I get. I don’t understand myself anymore, I hope it’s pocd not actual pedophilia, I don’t trust that diagnosis I got because of those 2 questions I lied on, I said that i don’t like those thoughts n feelings even though I don’t know if I really do or not, can someone please help me? Idk what I have anymore, I don’t want it to be pedophilia

POCD

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POCD fear of getting in trouble.

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