I have a lot of change going on in my life and I just saw my girlfriend after being 2 months apart. I missed her a lot but the whole day was feeling a bit off mostly with rocd. I’ve been trying to do exposures but none give me that crazy feeling and it’s been worrying me that I don’t care anymore. I also have been struggling with rocd for almost a year now. Does anyone have any clues as to what makes exposures really expose lol??
Some people struggle to make their exposures produce anxiety because of how they approach it: they tell themselves things like “this isn’t real, it’s just homework, it’s just practice.” To produce a real response you’re going to need to find exposures that feel at least a little hard or dangerous to approach at first. Choosing ones that feel easy will be easy and won’t really help you start facing the bigger stuff.
Girl, I know reassurance is bad but I just want to give you my advice as a fellow ROCD sufferer. Indifference and not caring is a defence mechanism you have built against how anxious you are about your relationship. “Better not to feel than to be anxious”. But trust me, the feeling is there, keep your head up!!
I’m in a relapse of my rocd if we can call it that, it’s been months now and it’s so hard. I love my partner an amazing amount but everything I do tells me different. Rocd tells me I don’t love him, I don’t even like or care about him and it breaks my heart. All day long anytime I get excited or happy about something my rocd says that’s because you don’t love him anymore. It’s so hard as I have such a negative view of him with rocd and my mind won’t let me think of anything positive although I was so incredibly happy. He feels like a stranger to me I use to be so comfortable with him and he was my best friend and it just felt right. Even when I was experiencing rocd thoughts from my original episode I was able to work through and still be happy. This relapse is so hard. I’m not sure if I’m experiencing depersonalizations or not because when I read up what it is most people say they feel like they are in a dream. I don’t feel a dream as much as I don’t feel normal and don’t feel like me. I question everything I do from the time I get up till the time I go to bed. Before this relapse, would I have sat down and watched tv, would I have said or done this or that. Everything is a question and nothing feels normal. I don’t feel like me. Even being with my partner I wonder if I act/ think the same way. Would I normally say this in a text, would I normally sit beside him or was it okay if we didn’t cuddle every second we watched tv? When we slept before did I turn durning the night or did we cuddle the whole night? Did I give him a good morning kiss every morning? When I go to text him something my mind instantly checks to see if this was something I would have done before and then reminds me how everything feels so weird. Not just with him but with everything. Sometimes I look at my dog and I don’t even feel like she is the same. I’m just so worried I’m so focused on being normal again that I’ll never actually feel like me. Like I’ve been too far in this hole to get out.It just sucks and feels so wrong. I feel like others have days or moments when they get to feel somewhat normal around their partner but my rocd thoughts/ feelings just won’t let me. It’s been almost 4 months of waking up and not feeling the way I want to and feeling like a stranger. I’m in therapy, I’m doing other rocd work and it’s just sucks. I feel like I’m never going to be able to look or think about my partner and just be okay again. I don’t even care about feeling the in love feelings, I just want to feel like I’m fully committed to us and him again. He is my person and rocd is trying so hard to take him from me. I guess any tips for depersonalization that has lasted a long time?
Does ROCD every start to make you feel and perceive life, or your spouse and the things important to you through this really wierd, unsettling kind of filter or perception? And you just feel resistant, distracted, repulsed and almost like you don’t care but also do. It’s hard. I feel very unfamiliar. It’s like you just don’t want to try when you think I about making action, but you also want to. Ugh. What do you do? Has things changed for you? I wish I could describe this better but I can’t.
Hey guys I have rocd and I need advise or some words of encouragement When it comes to the feelings of oh I dont love my boyfriend even when I say I do it feels like im lying to myself and it makes me discouraged but I am too numb to fight it Its like my body doesn't want to accept I do Moments when I think oh I want to do something with my boyfriend my brain and feelings shut it down like oh its just going to turn into a routine or nothing he does will make you into him It just makes me depressed and numb because I love my boyfriend a lot, I could not imagine leaving him when I know all I want is him Sometimes my head tells me oh you are too young to have rocd (im 19) or there's always the grass greener on the other Side why settle But I love long term relationships and I want it with him, I chose to date him because it was something about him that was just different and I instantly connected with him We also been together for almost a year (anniversary on August 25) and sometimes my head tells me oh if you guys were together longer its rocd since a lot of people that are on the app I've seen had their relationship for years With anyone dealing with this and go through these episodes in recovery what is it that you do that helps you go forward with your partner and not feeling like giving up
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