I know this may sound silly to be concerned about, but I have suicidal ocd. I get intrusive thoughts. And ruminate heavily. I feel like lately I cannot stop thinking about suicide 24/7. Until I fall asleep that is what’s on my mind. I had a med change a week ago and that’s when this started. Is this just a phase of my ocd? I am not wanting to kill myself- I don’t have a plan. I am just fearful
Also going through this. And with mine it’s comes in so many different ways in relation to harm/suicide. Sometimes it’s commands “do it”, “you want to”, “you should” etc … , sometimes it’s images of me with a weapon, I get thoughts saying “God wants you to die” , I’ve had thoughts with my family hurting themselves , I’ve had thoughts of depression …. I try to tell myself I’m still learning and I’m just going through a hard time. Is this the same for you?
@Anonymous 25# Yes very similar. Goes in phases in how the thoughts come in.
@cam.cam We can do this. I don’t want to be suicidal, which I’m sure you don’t either. I don’t like these thoughts.
@cam.cam I don’t but this theme has been stuck for a while ! It’s unrelenting
@Anonymous 25# It’s very frustrating. Gives me hope that OCD is highly treatable. Do you take meds?
@cam.cam No. I tried it last year but I just didn’t feel right. What about you?
@Anonymous 25# I’m on my first week of Prozac and it’s been hell. But I’m told it gets better. It’s made me a lot worse though. Have you done erp?
@cam.cam I’ve been doing it for the last 7 months. I’m having a really hard time to be honest. Mostly I deal with harm/suicidal OCD but my themes switch a lot. I have a hard time letting them pass. Do you do ERP also? Has it been helping?
@Anonymous 25# I did erp for a couple months. Waiting on my IOP to start now. I’ve been told that it should help a lot.
@cam.cam What’s that? Did ERP help?
@Anonymous 25# It did help when I was doing it consistently. IOP is outpatient, so 5 days a week 2 hours a day.
@cam.cam Oh wow ! Just for OCD?
@Anonymous 25# Yes!
@cam.cam I’ve been told it’s amazing.
@cam.cam That’s interesting ! Never heard of it before
@Anonymous 25# If you’re struggling you should look into it :)
I understand how you feel. The thought will persist as you resist. It’s a thought. I’ve learned with all my therapy and reading that thoughts aren’t actions. It’s just the brain doing what it does but ocd latches on to that. Your brain/ocd sees that you react to the thoughts and assumes it’s dangerous. ERP teaches you to go with the thought and just let it be there and don’t react to it and eventually it will lose strength. Hang in there.
@Moeden Just worried that I’m so tired of it that the idea will become more appealing. I don’t usually have depression but this med switch has made me very down.
This happened to me in IOP and put me back in the hospital lmao. Tell your doc, please, meds may not be helping but it is a kind of ocd I’ve had.
At this point I’m pretty sure I’m psychotic. I have intrusive thoughts all day long of me doing a bunch of things that I never and will never do. Images of me poking out my own eyes in all sorts of other horrific things that will have to do with self mutilation. These images have been haunting me for two years with the persisting fear that I will act out on these things one day despite me never wanting to do so. Now on top of these thoughts I am dealing with something else. I keep thinking about the fact that there’s no escape from life other than death and it makes me feel scared and trapped. I can’t stop thinking about this that there’s no escape. It’s scaring me. I want to live I have no desire to die but once I get the intrusive thought about not being able to escape this life is scaring me. I believe I’m going through depersonalization because nothing feels right my surroundings feel unfamiliar I feel unfamiliar. I feel like an alien in a place that seems unknown to me. This all started after I had a panic attack in the shower three weeks ago over my intrusive harm thoughts and in the moment I actually thought that my life was over and that I was about to act out on it but of course I didn’t because it’s just a thought and an obsessive fear. Something I would never do but it felt so real in that momentI almost passed out from the fear. The day after that I felt like nothing was real and I’m still in depersonalization and having panic attacks on the regular but today I got that thought about not being able to escape life and how we’re basically all trapped here. I can’t stop thinking it and it’s making me feel sick. Maybe if I Felt more connected to myself and my surroundings stuff like this wouldn’t bother me but that panic attack destroyed me. Does this sound like OCD or something else?I was completely normal and fine three weeks ago yes I had my intrusive thoughts but they weren’t scaring me or controlling me like they are now.
I have always suffered from OCD. It keeps changing from one thing to another. I take medication and I used to see an OCD therapist who helped me tremendously. My new OCD is that if I wake up around 4 am, I can’t go back to sleep. I have been fighting it for two months. My psychiatrist wants to increase or change my med. I’m not sure about that. Do you have any suggestions how to deal with this? Lack of sleep has interfered with life in such a horrible way.
I can’t figure out if I’m really suicidal or just obsessing over the thought of it. Im to scared to even do it. I don't know if this is my OCD or what but for the past week or so it's been really bothering me these thoughts that I am on edge, scared. I haven't eaten in 3 days. I have imagined every single way of doing it, and everything and it makes me SICK. It feels like an urge at this point. I start to feel like maybe I could actually do it, then I feel myself about to go into a panic attack. I already feel derealization where this world doesn't feel real and nobody seems real to me, and my family feels like strangers and I'm just really scared. I feel very scared. I don't physically feel like I'm "here." I feel like my mind is lost. I feel like I just want to be at peace and then I think I’m seriously suicidal and the cycle just keeps repeating itself. Im sick to my stomach and terrified.
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