unforgivable sin

Hi....this is so common, really it is. Here is a great article by Jaimie Eckert. You have NOT commited that sin, I know b/c you are worried that you have. Those who have are so hardened against God that they will never care about their standing with Him. https://scrupulosity.com/unpardonable-sin/ Also, I wrote a book about how to fight OCD as a Christian - you can sere more at WagingWarAgainstOCD.com

God does not care about your thoughts. You have the choice to believe in a loving God or some vengeful God who is judging you on your every thought. Why do you choose this vengeful God? As far as this unpardonable sin, it isn’t what you believe it to be. The Greek word translated “Age” is αἰών “Aion” it’s a time span of limited duration, much like a life span. It is clearer in a literal translation “but whoever may speak evil in regard to the Holy Spirit hath not forgiveness -- to the age, but is in danger of age-during judgment;”. Sounds much less scary now I bet. Point being stop scaring yourself and strengthen your rational mind. I went through this same ocd theme long ago.