POCD

This may be a little taboo so discretion advised. I stumbled upon this Twitter community that’s labeled to post 18+ Porn content and I’ve went in there a few times to view the posts. For some context I’m 19. For those of you who may not understand how Twitter communities work here’s some context for that as well. In these communities they are separated by a topic and everyone can join the community to then collectively converse or share media/pictures about the topic. Of course people made porn communities and anyone can post in these communities. Obviously knowing this I try to be as careful as possible by only viewing videos of individuals that are obviously above 18. I should also add this particular community has moderators that are supposed to be verifying videos and deleting anything that is suspect or not compliant with the rules but sometimes i worry the people in these videos aren’t actually 18 like they are supposed to be. I have every reason to believe they are of age except the fact that anyone is aloud to post in these communities so I fear I masturbated to a minor or viewed child porn without knowing they were underage because I misjudged by the video. I am currently in therapy and I have been for a while now so I know I should stick with the facts and really try to stick with my core values but this really is sticking with me and I don’t have a meeting for a few days can anyone help? (Also I should add I don’t have any of these videos saved and I didn’t share them either only viewed)

Username: MalisimoMalisimo

Date posted: 16w ago

You are really wasting energy on this. You simply will never know, so that’s it, move on. You are trying to solve a problem that doesn’t need to be solved. It has no answer, yet you are seeking one out, why? How does this serve you? You think you will be some terrible person if you accidentally viewed a video of somebody who is 16 or 17 instead of 18? You yourself are only 19! Yes stick with the facts, stop scaring yourself and creating problems for yourself where are none. You are young go enjoy life.

Username: JFLJFL

Date posted: 16w ago

Hello. I don't really know much about twitter or Twitter communities. I think this is a situation where I would follow your gut. As far as OCD goes there are intrusive thoughts that rationally you know don't make sense but feel real. Exposure therapy teaches you to sit with your discomfort and face your fears. You have concerns that some of these porn videos on Twitter are showing minors since anyone can post content. Maybe it's not worth you watching these videos on twitter since you have these concerns. Certain things are not worth it. Hope this helps.

Username: ElicambelElicambel

Date posted: 16w ago

i’ve dealt with something similar, but i tried to change my perspective, i personally believe people with OCD put WAY too much responsibility on themselves, so even IF you did see something that involved a child, you wouldn’t of known, and it would have nothing to do with you and be the person who distributed the videos fault, another thing i remind myself is that it’s not immoral to take risks, we take risks every single day which is not immoral to do so, don’t put too much responsibility on yourself, i wish you all the best and i hope this helped ❤️

Username: JFLJFL

Date posted: 16w ago

I was putting a lot of responsibility last night. I think you are absolutely right about how OCD is linked to over doing it as far as responsibility. I was basically calling myself a bad person last night and feeling like I had failed.

Username: ElicambelElicambel

Date posted: 16w ago

@JFL exactly, because you care so much about certain topics your OCD puts WAY too much responsibility on you, which is just not fair on you at all

Username: Aaron R.

Date posted: 3y ago

Every time I watch an explicit video, I obsessively worry about whether or not the person in the video was of legal age or if I unintentionally looked at a minor. This causes me to have intrusive OCD thoughts that I am some kind of horrible pedophile or that the FBI will arrest me. I'm currently experiencing an anxiety spike right now because of it. Can anyone else relate to this? I only want to watch videos of consenting adults, but the need for 100 percent certainty makes it difficult for me to stop questioning it. Because of my religious beliefs, things like pornography are outside of my ethical values anyways, so I really want to break the habit of watching it in any capacity (even if I knew for certain I couldn't accidentally stumble upon a video of a minor), but I struggle with doing that. Does anyone have any tips to stop engaging in lustful behaviors, and how to deal with catastrophic thinking about jail time and being a sick person because I'm paranoid about if the model could be underage?

Username: Nameless000

Date posted: 1y ago

Help. I fear I accidentally saw something illegal.

Im terrified and highly triggered about what i think i saw. Trigger warning : p*rn I was using this p*rn site called sp*nkb*ng.com which I thought it was safe and that it only cointained adult videos, but now im not so sure. I had searched the category "japanese m*lf vr" because by typing the world m*lf I was more at ease thinking that I wouldn't have to worry about coming across anything triggering and strange. But while I was scrolling through the videos I came across this video which had as a thumbnail a highly disturbing image: there was this girl with a very small body and the arms looked very short (maybe they looked short because they were bent ?) I don't know if it just looked that way because the image in the thumbnail was distorted/on a weird angle or if the girl in the thumbnail happened to be a woman with an unusual small body. I didn't click on the video, I didn't dare to check in case my fear were to be revealed true, but I kept looking at the thumbnail in disbelief and in horror not believing what I was seeing, hoping that I had seen just wrong but nothing changed. I'm terrified that I might have saw something illegal. I feel extremely triggered and I'm currently in high distress. While I was searching about the legality and safety of these adult sites I saw this article and it triggered me a lot. The disturbing and disgusting words I had to read have tainted and stained my brain and now I have the worst and most disgusting words stuck in the chamber of my mind. I feel rotted and gross, I'm currently feeling the abomination and the evilness associated with these words. https://psychcentral.com/blog/sex-addiction/2013/04/legal-traps-for-internet-porn-users-5-ways-you-can-get-in-trouble?c=580741382859#1 I know the solution is to quit p*rn completely as it triggers those with ocd. But it's not easy. I was feeling excited and now I feel wrong and gross as if I commited a crime, like a complicit. I'm completely turned off. I feel horrible. Does anybody had something like this happen to them as well?

POCD

Username: savvyp

Date posted: 18w ago

POCD (TRIGGER PORN)

It’s 4am and I’m really freaking myself out. So full disclosure…I used to watch Porn and this triggered SO OCD initially. I feel like it’s NOW jumped into POCD. In the past I used to click on vids of women performing sexual acts. (Hence the SO OCD) But now I’m freaking out that I actually finished and enjoyed myself to the vids that maybe said Teen in the title or what not. At the time I didn’t believe that those girls were actually underage because why would that be legal and distributed on Porn hub? Maybe these girls are trying to click bait a weird thing? I assumed Teen meant 18. Now I look back on it and feel gross and that I’m a predator. I would never condone anything like that in real life. I keep questioning myself like “Why the hell did I do that?” “why didn’t I click off the video?” If that person was actually 17 or younger I would freaking lose it. How could I live with myself? How could I ever be a good person?

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