Harm ocd and schizophrenia

So I’m 15 and I’ve struggled with OCD and really bad anxiety my entire life it was normally like if I didn’t skip my feet I would get a heart attack or something of that sort and for a while it really died down and I wasn’t having obsessions or compulsions but then I randomly started getting intrusive thoughts about me hurting someone or my friends family dog etc and they terrified me I mean scared the ever living yk what out of me and I seem to have intrusive thoughts about everything that goes against how I think and recently here it’s gotten to schizophrenia where I’m terrified of developing schizophrenia and hallucinating and hurting my mom or dad or someone even an animal and I just cry at the thought of it and I am trying to get into therapy I just need someone to tell me it’s going to be ok for now until I start my journey of getting better and my doctor told me he sees good potential in me getting better and that I’m not the most severe he’s seen. I also never let this keep me sad I always make sure to do stuff that I enjoy because I really enjoy life and when I’m not worrying I have a lot of fun.

Skyline 🕊️

Date posted: 1y

Hey, I experienced this very thing with Harm OCD. It can be so difficult and isolating please know you’re not alone. I cried for months after my first Harm OCD thought and I too thought I was going to go insane, hallucinating or develop schizophrenia. At times it was so severe I was terrified I would hurt random people. I even grew terrified of giving my dog a bath. About schizophrenia even though I was beyond scared/ halfway convinced I was developing it. News flash I wasn’t. My mother in law actually has schizophrenia and my therapist told me this one thing that helped. She said “usually people who have this don’t know they are experiencing these things” and it’s true. Thinking about my mother law and the times when she was hallucinating she really thought it was real. She would say things like look there’s xyz floating around. She had no awareness of reality and even though we reminded her she had this she couldn’t grasp that fact. Despite what OCD tries to tell you it’s just OCD. My last piece of advice.. I know this all sounds scary but trust yourself. I trust you. I know it’s hard but I trust you. Try to be kind of like a wet noodle if you would. I’m not sure if you’re familiar with that term but be young wild and free. Who cares if you have these annoying extremely scary thoughts. It’s not you. Show OCD who’s boss and do yourself a favor and live your live fearlessly. I’m sorry this is a bit long but I wish someone had told me all of this in the beginning. Life’s too short my friend. You don’t deserve to live in fear. There may be days when those OCD thoughts will freeze you up and it will feel urgent and like it’s going to happen. But I promise you. It will go away just take a second and acknowledge it’s just an OCD and that the thought means zero about you. It’s going to be more than ok.❤️‍🩹

rjlol

Date posted: 1y

@ Skyline 🕊️ Thank you this really means a lot and made me feel better❤️

glücklich

Date posted: 1y

It’s important to keep doing things that lift you up, even if it’s just for 5 minutes a day and the rest of the day is misery. It’s your lifeline. It will get better, I used to wonder if and how I’d ever be ok again but now I am

Anonymous

Date posted: 23w

Ocd/going crazy

Hi about a week ago I found out I have ocd and chronic anxiety! I tried zoloft and it was terrible for me. I also started therapy and I take hydroxyzine but I will discuss further medication with my doctor. My question is I have a huge fear that I'm going crazy, I am crazy, or schizophrenic to the point I'm so hyper aware of my surrounding ill look out the corner of my eye to make sure I'm nit seeing anything ill make sure to double check what I'm hearing and it's so draining! I get really scared and go into a panic and cry 😅 I need some reassurance has anyone felt this way my doctor and therapist explained it to me but I'm still very scared. I feel like one day I'll have a break and I won't be the same! I tried the grounding exercise and breathing it helps temporarily. I also cut out smoking weed and none of my family has this but I feel like I have it or ill develope it even though it's rare!

laladracu

Date posted: 18w

Harm ocd

I’ve been through a lot of trauma the past few months and years and had an anxiety breakthrough where I can’t stop having panic and anxiety attacks. I used to be a horror movie addict and one night during an anxiety attack my brain went “Kill your sister” My sister is my whole world. It all went downhill from there. I can’t even be around her when were home alone anymore. Every single day since then my brain is trying to tell me a bunch of different ways to harm her. Its getting to a point where its involving others now. “Kill your sister.” “What if you finally go back to your boyfriends house and kill his family?” “What if you kill mom?” “Kill that lady walking down the aisle at work.” “What if you killed yourself?” “You’re a bad person for thinking all of this.” “You shouldn’t be allowed to sleep, eat or relax. Bad people don’t get to do those things.” “These thoughts are in your head 24/7 because you WANT to do these things!” Its causing me so much anxiety and racing thoughts and I don’t want to become anymore depressed. SSRIs dont work. My doctor wants me to go on antipsychotics but I’m afraid to and I feel like I don’t actually need them and it will cause more damage. My goal is to become the person I was before all of this. Not to change completely. I tried buspirone once and I stopped due to increased health anxiety and often found myself saying “remember when you wanted to kill your sister?” and then brushing it off. It helped in some sort of way. I was only on it for a week. My whole life has changed since then. I dont go to my boyfriends house anymore, I dont see my friends, I can’t play video games anymore. All I do is ruminate and I cant stop. I cant even hold a conversation anymore. The compulsions are horrible. I’m so scared that theres no coming back from this. Its all adding to the anxiety that I don’t want to become severe depression. I just want to be me again. I’m starting off ERP and if it doesn’t work I dont know what to do. Can someone please tell me they have been through similar and have gotten better. I just need to save my life. Its getting to a point where this is convincing me this is all real and its going to happen and that im gonna become a psychopath. Its been going on for 3 months. I used to be so bubbly and happy!! (I am not schizoaffective)

Adi7

Date posted: 18w

Advice please ❤️

Hi ❤️ I’m really struggling right now I’m in my sophomore year of Highschool and I’ve finally started planning or thinking abt my future (for context I was extremely depressed and suicidal from 6-9th grade) After conquering my depression this is a huge leap for me and I’m proud of myself ❤️ But there’s something still holding me down :( and I’m not sure what to do anymore that thing is OCD. Since 6th grade I have had strong and invasive intrusive thoughts all the time they scare me so bad and make me feel as though I’m not even real anymore :( I’m sick of taking the time to do ridiculous compulsions to rid or ease these thoughts it’s a waste of time and energy and it hurts me so bad I feel like I will never get to just live my life without this :( How can I plan my future when I can’t even find myself in this mess of anxiety 💔 I’m so tired of fighting my mental health it’s been years from anxiety attacks to sh to survived suicide attempts (I got help dw❤️‍🩹) and recovery there. Just to be thrown into a storm of awful scary sickening thoughts day and night-when can I just be a normal teenager and possibly a happy adult? How do I conquer this so I can love myself to the fullest and live my life free and happy? :( ❤️❤️‍🩹 I’m so scared to talk to my parents about it I’m ashamed of my thoughts and every time I bring it up they just say I shouldn’t be diagnosing myself or it’s just ADHD. It really really hurts me they have no idea how awful this feels and it makes me feel so alone sometimes 💔

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Harm ocd and schizophrenia

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