I've been dealing with HOCD for almost 2-3 years now and everyday it seems to he getting worse. It get strong false attraction thay feels like real attraction, I feel like I don't like women anymore like I use to. Fantisize about them ect. It consumes my mind and feelings and sensations 90 percent of the day, and I'm at a point where it feels like I've lost, is this normal with hocd or ocd in general?
Yes. This is normal. Let's build a semi-hypothetical scenario. If I was dating someone (which I am) and I was going through stress at work, money trouble, car trouble, or any other types of trouble you can think of (which I also am), but my relationship with my partner is great and peaceful, then OF COURSE I'm still not going to be as aroused or excited as I would be if all of these other outside problems didn't exist. But, if I was not experiencing outside stressors, then my entire psyche will be calm and open to being aroused and excited by my partner. Instead, I'm too focused on other stressors. Symptoms of OCD of any theme trick sufferers into believing that the stress they are under is equal to defeat against the theme itself. What sufferers like you and me fail to realize is that the theme is not actually the issue, it's the fact that it represents a INSIDE STRESSOR that hijacks our psyche. Outside stressors are easy to identify and separate from. As a result, instead of being open to good experience, we are more likely to focus on the objects of our obsession. I hope this insight helps.
I guess now the question is how do I beat it tho? I know you can't fight with it or run away from it and all that, so i try my best(not perfectly) to do erp, radical acceptance ect, but it feels so freaking real like if I'm actually gay and ive become ok with it(not in the good way) the false attraction feels so freaking real and no matter how much I accept it's presence, it's not going away,
@Anonymous Have you ever heard the story or seen the movie about Babadook? It has a very cool premise. The Babadook is a monster that haunts grieving families and people. In the stories, the Babadook is hard to get rid of because the more people try to ignore it, the stronger and more terrifying it gets. Conversely, the more people acknowledge the Babadook, the weaker and less scary it gets. Anxiety and OCD symptoms are the same. Obsessions are the Babadook, and compulsions are the act of trying to ignore and eliminate it by ignoring it. Instead, compulsions actually make obsessions stronger because they reinforce the trigger + response mechanisms in our psyche, hence the usefulness of Exposure Response Prevention therapy. By voluntarily exposing myself to triggering thoughts and feelings, and preventing myself from reacting and responding compulsively, I weaken the obsession. Acknowledge the Babadook, and it suddenly becomes less terrifying.
Thats a good insight. Ive had ocd my entire life. Ive always been a good athlete and loved competing in a couple different sports, recreationally. A few years ago i developed a back issue and couldnt compete in those sports and it sent my ocd into overdrive. When i was healthy and feeling great in those sports i really didnt have any obesessions or compulsions that were bothering me. I felt good. Wasnt taking any antidepressant. But once my back went out, BOOM they came back like a tidal wave.
Which is the inside stressor, the soocd or the money/work problems?
@Ifiknewthen Soocd. Money problems, although they can be internalized, are outside of us. They aren't just created by the anxious mind. They have a tangible, real world effect.
@Anonymous So whats the treatment?
@Ifiknewthen I, along with many others, have found CBT and ERP - coupled with medication management - to be the most effective.
Idk if this post is even worth it but it seemed like a normal day for me, called off work due to the weather so I get to just stay home and play games all day. Easy day besides dealing with the constant and unbearable battle with my intrusive thoughts/feelings. Took a shower and I just had constant thoughts, (heart palpitations are pretty constant) ended up breaking down and bawling my eyes out. I was diagnosed with HOCD and ROCD about 2 months ago and since it's just gotten worse. It feels as real as it can get and after talking to my girlfriend about the anxiety attack, it feels even more real. I have no desire or enjoyment from what comes from my brain, and at this point I'm on my knees begging the big man upstairs for my old life back, how do I go from being obsessed with women (sexually and emotionally) to pretty much doing a 180 overnight (with the obvious anxiety and worry behind it. No real desire obviously). I'm just at a loss, I've done a little ERP and it seemed to help with the brain fog but besides that, everything that it does to someone, I have. And again there's the doubt I even have OCD and I'm in straight denial. It just sucks.
Hi so I've been having a recent theme of soocd hocd. At the start I was all panicked and couldn't leave my house. Now all my emotions feel like they have turned off. It feels real now like I'm just in denial. It's bringing up memories from the past of shows I've watched or people I was friends with to try and prove the point or people I thought were pretty. It's saying you've only realised now cause you are comfortable as I had a difficult childhood. I feel no attraction towards men and can't remember if I ever have now even though I know I did. It's saying its all fake. I really am. Starting to believe it's real and I just feel depressed now. Am I going to have to leave my boyfriend who I planned my life with. It feels like life is going by and I'm stuck. I have no energy at all.
I keep having this weird feeling none stop that it’s most likely not HOCD and most my feelings. Like I’ve suffered none stop distress and unwanted thoughts the past few days. But those thoughts after a bit just feel weird not the kind of discomfort but are just their and stale. When I look at a guy I don’t feel anything but my thoughts sometimes compliment his looks or personality which makes me doubt my sexuality. I’ve never felt this weirded out. Because I’ve always been straight and still believe I am but I’ve never even had an emotional connection to someone of the opposite gender in fact. My view of the female body has been ruined with none stop pornography addictions. I don’t believe I’m gay but I feel like it may just be denial instead of HOCD but all my symptoms are literally HOCD. I don’t hate the idea of gay people but I can’t imagine or see my heart going off to like someone of the same sex. I haven’t really had any meaningful real life friends besides online but that also ended a few months ago. My only friend ever online that was my friend for the longest of time was a queer but I never really cared about what he liked. Like yes at some point I did try to challenge him with his own feelings but that didn’t last long I just accepted what he liked and moved on. I’ve never even touched let alone held a long conversation with a female. I’ve always been timid and shy around them but I can just say that towards male as well. The gay feelings feel so real. The thoughts feel a bit natural to me but I don’t want this. But I hate how I can’t just move on and be myself and love women when those thoughts demand attention and an answer. It won’t quit it. If I try to do a compulsion it calms down but it quickly becomes a problem again. I’m lonely I don’t have any friends or past relationships I can even think of helping me with the emotions. I still believe I’m straight and I just can’t see myself with a guy. It just doesn’t feel right for me despite my lack of experiences. I just wanna go back to how I was happy and loving girls and not having to question if it was a real feeling or just my natural timid nature. Everytime I think these distressing thoughts I always just wanna sit down and close my eyes and sleep. Because that’s where I can have peace of self. It sucks but I’m so exhausted of having to deal with emotional distress and I can’t even focus on my job as much. I want to meet new people discover my love for women again but I’m scared in the process I may discover I may be gay. Because deep down I know I wouldn’t ever be happy with myself if my greatest fears where confirmed. My dream of always being a father with a loving women and kids would be torn away by something I never asked for. Yes I’m religious, yes I come from a place that homosexuals are usually seen in a bad light. I just hate feeling this emotion that I may not be what I thought and having my dreams torn apart maybe true. I’ve read MUTIPLE articles about HOCD and seen MUTIPLE videos. I’ve come to the realization that I most likely have it. But it’s still hard when the feelings of maybe being gay maybe true you know? I hope I get better I hope I don’t suffer. I just wanna be happy with myself and loving females and I don’t wanna hate myself for feeling an emotion that never occurred to me more then a few times.
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