living (vent)

im just living day by day. i’ve stopped doing the things i used to like doing because i don’t want to ruin them. i dont want my favourite music, movies, shows and hobbies to be tainted with anxiety and my own thoughts. im a shell of who i used to be and if i had the choice i’d do nothing. at this point i’m living to cover up my emotions. its even harder because i’m not actually diagnosed since i dont think i could handle telling my parents about what’s wrong with me. i have a lot of the symptoms and i’ve had them since i was quite young (16 now) and it just hasn’t been getting better, im just better at hiding it now. i dont want to bother my boyfriend or parents with my issues so i have to deal with everything myself. i don’t find anything fun anymore and i want to die, i have nothing to live for and i quite simply want it to end. i always think it can’t get worse but i fall deeper into my sadness and me saying i’m alright to people is a lie. i feel so incredibly trapped i don’t know what to do with myself anymore.

Username: koolkatjane koolkatjane

Date posted: 22w ago

I could have written this. Seeing this typed out makes me nearly cry bc know this pain so much and it’s so sad knowing others deal w it too. Hugs to you 🫂 Yes, it’s like I spend every day just “waiting to die”. I’ve started liking it to being at work and just feeling like you just want to go home. That’s how life feels. And idk how to fix it. All my life experience and advanced education, and I have no idea what to do about it.

Username: Amara Amara

Date posted: 22w ago

I'm truly sorry to hear that you're going through such a difficult and painful time.I mean you and the other member(koolkatjan) Prioritize self care take small steps to take care of yourself, even if it feels difficult. Engage in activities that bring you comfort and relaxation, such as going for a walk, listening to music, or practicing mindfulness or meditation. Also, reading some books will help you change your perspective. (Let Go the Pathway of Sounding by Dr. David Hawkins and The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Dr. Joseph Murphy are good starters.) Remember, every day is a new day, and every storm will eventually pass, no matter how strong or long it takes. Focus on the good things in your life and see the silver lining for example, having loved ones, moments of laughter, and time spent together,being healthy, please don't view OCD as a disease, because many people have more serious issues, such as cancer, or other dangerous diseases. You can still see yourself as a lucky and healthy person. There is a big life ahead of you, and you have plenty of time to see the beauty in life.

Username: mummers

Date posted: 5y ago

*venting* I’m so tired of life. I just woke up, and I feel like going back to bed and sleep until this nightmare passes. This week has been one of the hardest of my life. I don’t think I can face another day of intrusive thoughts, fear, anxiety. I need some moments of relief, but there are none. I wanna have a life again. Anxiety and obsessive thoughts have killed my social life, my ambitions and desires, my happiness. I’ve been fighting for the past 6 months for nothing. I don’t see any improvement. I’m on day 3 of Lexapro and of course i can’t tell if it’s gonna work for me or not. I’m on the first stages of ERP therapy and I still haven’t got any assigned homework to work on, which I really need because I need to feel like I’m doing SOMETHING to help myself with ocd and Gad. I just hope someone could just take out whatever part of my brain isn’t working properly and replace it with a new piece. I don’t wanna feel like a burden to my family or boyfriend anymore. I can’t believe all the damage that I’m causing. I don’t know what to do with all this self hate. I don’t know where to turn to. I seem to have all the help that one could need - therapy, medication, support system. Yet I feel like I can’t spend another day living like this.

Username: knowles

Date posted: 5y ago

for the past four days, i haven’t been taking care of myself. i don’t sleep until 5, i wake up at 4 in the evening, i only have 1 meal a day, and i look ill. my room’s been a mess for a few months now so i’ve been sleeping in the guest room. my acne has worsened because i’ve been skipping my skincare routines and haven’t been showering. i feel so sad, i want to be productive and do something that makes me feel useful to others but i just can’t. sometimes i can’t even move. i just feel numb. sleeping has been the only way to really block out my thoughts. when i’m lucky i get good dreams and when i wake up sometimes i pretend those dreams actually happened. i feel like i have no one to talk to, no one really asks me how i’m doing anymore and i don’t blame them because we’re all going through something. but even my own parents don’t seem to bother about how i’m feeling. i just feel alone and i want to get through it but i’ve been too weak to. i don’t like this feeling

Perfectionism OCD

Username: hiy

Date posted: 2y ago

[T/W] ( Suicidal )

I can't anymore. I feel like life's all about pain. Ecery though there are happy moments, but when sadness take over them i just can't. It's not getting any easier. I'm sick of being yhis way and crying every single day. I told my family that i feel anxious so i want to go to s therapist. I didn't tell them about ocd. Even over this small thing my mum keeps rechecking on me. I'm not liking it. It's keeping me from telling them that i really want to go. My mum keeps asking if i want to go but they won't take me to see therapist. I don't want to live like this. Feelsike I'm not at all living my own life. I don't want to live

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living (vent)

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