Idk if I have ocd or not I just want to know about 4 months ago I started getting harmful thoughts to loved ones im very scared because I would never hurt anyone. These thoughts scare me so much because they are so vivid and I have like these urges as if I’m going to do it. What is this? Am I ok? Am I going crazy please someone help it feels like I can’t take it anymore living this way with these thoughts haunting me day and night.
Yes that is ocd. You are having an intrusive thought that is causing an anxiety spike. OCD attacks your values and what you care about. You are not going crazy, you simply have harm ocd. You need to practice erp therapy and you will overcome this.
@Malisimo Thank you for your response! I’m just very scared because why does it feel so real like why are the urges so real I’m scared because what if I give in to the urge? Like how does one cope with this. Sorry for the questions I’m just very very scared and need answers :( also they go away for like some time throughout the day and then they decide to come back is that normal?
@Nancyyaa Yes that is normal. It’s not an urge though since you are so anxious about it. You are not fighting against it as if you WANT to do it. The thought is intrusive and is causing an anxiety spike because you are afraid of doing it. The thought of harming goes against your core values and that’s what ocd is attacking. You believe if you were to do harm you would be trapped forever as evil and cruel and punished with no escape, correct?
@Malisimo Yesss I also get these thoughts of if I did it I don’t want to be seen as an evil person I don’t want to even be in jail I don’t want that I want to be seen as a good person like I’ve always been. I hate that this came out of no where for the past 4 months it’s been miserable for me :/
@Nancyyaa The ocd will always try to put you in a fear of an outcome that is inescapable. Thats how it creates the anxiety spike that causes you to try to solve the problem and seek reassurance to find relief. You need to understand there is no reassurance that will ever be enough. There isn’t even really a problem, you trying to solve this, what if I did this question is now the problem. It has pulled you into the loop, now you must exit the ocd loop by no longer trying to solving this. Recognize that everyone has these harm thoughts. They are simply an act of our minds being creative. Thoughts have no meaning and you do not need to engage with them. Allow yourself to think the harm thoughts, do not fight them. Sit with that feeling of anxiety but do not under any circumstance engage with the thought and try to figure out if it is real or true, as in something you want to do. Just allow it to be there and let your body naturally bring down the anxiety.
@Malisimo Yes as your describing is exactly what I’m feeling. And I always tell myself I would never do that, or I’m not that kind of person. About engaging with them I know I will never because I’m scared of even doing anything. But what scares me is does ocd make you do things and you don’t notice? That’s what I’m fearing the most like what if the urge gets to strong where you can’t even think properly and then do it? I’m stuck with so many questions and I know seeking reassurance isn’t the best option to get better but seriously it feels like I’m trapped in my own head and I’ve been feeling disconnected from myself lately to like life doesn’t even feel real anymore it’s too much :/
@Nancyyaa When I said, don’t engage with the thought I meant do not analyze it, focus on it,or try to solve it in any way. Ok so you are worried What if I do it because I lose control of my body or the thought won’t go away unless you do it. Rationally you know this is impossible. That isn’t enough for your ocd though so when it asks you that question, simply laugh and say yeah that would be awful. Is it possible maybe, maybe not, and thats ok. It’s not happening now though so I’ll just live my life. You can never solve the future and trying to will pull you into the loop. You must always do simply nothing. The answer is always there is nothing answer.
@Malisimo Oh okay so basically try to not feed it too much attention? I know that’s going to be hard but I can try I also try to think of things that make me happy when having those urges and thoughts. And thank you for everything and the support I just have to stay strong through this do you think this kind of ocd requires therapy? Or can this go away on its own? I remember always getting intrusive thoughts before but they never affected me this way or stick to me like these have. And do you know why they start out of no where? Or is there a root to why harm ocd begins? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to just wanted to throw that in there and see if you knew
@Nancyyaa It goes away as soon as you realize you can’t solve it and stop trying to. Every ocd theme is the same. They are problems that cannot be solved and questions that do not have answers. Harm ocd begins because that is what you are afraid of. OCD cannot attack something you’re not fearful of. Therapy is great for all ocd. Even though I have already told you the way out by doing nothing it may take time to accept. OCD is going to tell you that you MUST solve this that is the way out. Get reassurance, do the compulsion, ruminate,that will relieve the anxiety. It’s an illusion of control. You will eventually realize you’ve gotten nowhere and only increased your anxiety. Then hopefully you will give up and give in to doing nothing.
@Malisimo It makes sense what your saying, and I understand where you said it begins because your afraid of it and yes that’s exactly what I feel. Thank you this definitely made me think more clear on what’s going on and what I’ve been experiencing
@Nancyyaa You’ll get through it, and in the long run be grateful for having ocd. We come out BETTER than normal and can handle uncertainty well. It’s just part of life. I was completely destroyed by it for many years but that helped me really understand it and be able to help others through my experience. Good luck, you got this!
@Malisimo Thank you so much again! And yes I’ve always thought we are stronger than those who don’t know what it’s like to deal with this. Thank you for giving me a better understanding and helping me relax a bit
I’ve been dealing with OCD for years. When I first started having intrusive thoughts, I was terrified and didn’t understand what was happening. Over time I have learned to trust myself, even while I am still struggling. you are capable of trusting yourself too.
@fuzzy_caterpillar Did you get over it and how? And yes I try hard to think positive through the hard times too I’ve been having anxiety for years now but this harming thoughts barely is new to me and it’s like nothing ever before so scary. I sometimes tell myself ok it’s been 4 months and you haven’t done nothing relax. But then again when you feel like you’re about to snap and do something I get scared and it’s like a loop I can’t get out of if that makes sense
@Nancyyaa Honestly, you never really get over it. It just becomes easier to manage. Feeling like you are going to “snap” is a common symptom of OCD, and recognizing OCD and it’s patterns has been beneficial for me. Understand that this is not you, it’s a mental illness and it doesn’t mean that you are going to act on your thoughts, no matter how real it feels. In a moment where you feel anxious, try to ground yourself, close your eyes and breathe and remind yourself that the thoughts aren’t real. Focus on yourself in the present rather than worrying about the future.
@fuzzy_caterpillar Thank you so much for the tips! I’ve been trying to accept the thoughts and let them in as much as possible they feel really ugly and scary but If that’s the only way I am trying my best.
@Nancyyaa I saw your post and had to comment. I remember that feeling of dread and going crazy. I remember feeling completely alone. But what you are describing is almost exactly the same as my first OCD experience. I always remind myself that intrusive thoughts are not desires I have, they are the things I fear the most. I become so concerned about being certain that I am NOT something I fear, that I analyze and reanalyze. As the other commenters have mentioned, dealing with OCD is about learning to not analyze the intrusive thoughts. My personal analogy is like a wave in the ocean. If you try to stand against it, you will get knocked down. But if you let it push past you, you just kind of bob there. (Not a great analogy, I know, but it works for me.) There is a book called "Brain Lock: Free Yourself From Obsessive Compulsive Behavior". I found this book to be very helpful in breaking the loop thinking that @Malisimo described. I definitely recommend seeing a medical professional about treatment options. I'm on meds and it helped me. Finally, know that you are very much not alone. You are now part of the club. The club sucks, but at least we've got each other.
@Andy F It totally makes sense the way you describe and to look at the thoughts that way, it’s like a way of comforting instead of actually thinking you’re a bad person for having those thoughts. Thank you so much for your advice and I’m glad you’re doing better it’s def very tuff especially because it’s an everyday thing. I’ll for sure take a look at that book and learn more about it too.
When OCD says “what if you did it and don’t t remember “. That is so typical OCD to keep you in the loop of solving a problem that is false.
@ivrec So ocd wants you to stay in the loop basically? I’m new to all this and still understanding everything about it.
just a couple days ago i experienced this for the first time from watching the new DAHMER series. Im having intrusive images and thoughts of me harming or killing my loved ones and its so scary because i would never do it. It has me questioning if im crazy and im having severe panic attacks over 3 times a day. Im mentally and physically drained, i’ve told my mom about it and we are going to see a therapist tomorrow. Im scared to because idk if they specialize in OCD and if i tell them my thoughts they are gonna put me in the mental hospital or say im crazy and don’t have OCD, can any therapists on here or fellow people with Harm OCD let me know if you think im showing signs of it, i just want it to go away and to be able to sleep at night without severe overthinking.
Hi. I’m just really scared and I want to ask questions. I have been ocd and have been really suffering since December. The intrusive thoughts come like I want them now and it’s more of a “ well oh yeah you want to do that, and it’s gonna happen” and I start panicking and can’t focus and it scares the shit out of me. Is that ocd? Or is there something wrong with my brain and I’m actually some psychopath you see in a movie? I’m terrified. Im scared to be around my family, I’m scared to be around everyone. But I’m scared to be alone as well because I’m alone with the thoughts. What if these aren’t intrusive thoughts and I’m actually some terrible person who’s gonna hurt someone or is actually some psychopath who’s crazy? I hate this so much because I use to be so happy and not have any of these intrusive thoughts or worried that I was going to to hurt someone and now I’m so scared all the time. Can someone please answer some of these questions? I just want to make sure that this is ocd and I’m not a terrible person.
It started a month ago on vacation. I started getting intrusive thoughts about harming my loved ones in their sleep and it scared me so bad. I thought it would stop but it only got worse. Here I am a month later and things have changed drastically. My thoughts have now shifted to becoming some serial killer. I am so worried it’s all I think about. I can’t stop thinking about the things I did as a kid and how it could validate all my thoughts. I don’t wanna hurt anyone or anything at all. I am so scared of the thought of the notorious serial killers that I’ve heard about in the past and I can’t stop comparing myself to these horrible people. I’m scared because I used to be mean to animals as a kid and people say this is the first thing to look for in serial killers. I remember still having a lot of empathy for them when I was young too. I look back and cant at all understand why I was like that. It makes me wanna breakdown and punch myself. All of that stopped a really long time ago and every since I have done nothing but helped and empathized with animals. I am every surrounded by them and consider them to be more family than pets. I get extremely upset over anything or anyone who is suffering. I just can’t get that memory of me doing that stuff out of my head and I’m afraid it means it validates my thoughts I’ve been having even though this is not what i want to happen. I’ve been completely avoidant of alcohol and refused to take a medication I was prescribed because irritability was a side effect and I’m afraid of snapping and hurting someone. I just can’t stop thinking about my past and how it could correlate to now. Even though I have grown up to have morals and respect for everything I have a fear that it’s all been a lie. I get so much anxiety from thinking about this stuff. I haven’t eaten in almost 3 days because my stomach is in a constant knot and when I do eat I feel too guilty to do so because I’m not paying attention to these thoughts and sometimes it makes me question whether I secretly want to do bad stuff which I don’t and that scared me so bad. I made an emergency appointment right after I started having these thoughts and they diagnosed me as having schizotypal personality disorder. They said I have been having ocd “tendencies “ because I have the thoughts and constantly googling everything which I guess would be a compulsion. I have been looking on forums for people with past actions similar to mine to see other peoples reactions. I’m not sure what this is anymore. Idk if this is ocd or I’m just using it as an excuse. All I know is that I’m extremely scared. I vowed if this stuff as everything something I would even think about doing I would take myself out before I ever hurt anyone else. It’s scary but it’s what I always tell myself when I doubt any of this.
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