Harm ocd

I woke up this morning so unexpectedly with the worst harm ocd thoughts with urges and sensations, i had such a bad panic attack and literally cried for an hour. I think this harm icd was triggered by an article and its made me so worried. Has anyone ever got the intrusive thought that if you acted on thought that it wouldn’t even matter bc nothing does as i had that and it really scared me because i never would want anything like that and care about it deeply.

amc1234

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

I’ve had these thoughts about my son.. it’s horrific. I’ve learned through experience that it’s not always “what ifs”. harm ocd can even come in as commands. And for me it appears in my dreams or midnight terrors. OCD feels real. ERP does help - it’s been a roller coaster ride and I still am dealing with themes but I’m not where I was a year and half ago

carol.xxx

Date posted: 1y

@amc1234 Thank you so much for this reply. It was so scary it was like it consumed me and i just felt so terrible, sometimes with the OCD i just feel so alone and abnormal like omg “what if this isnt ocd” and it just really makes me spiral. x

tenby

Date posted: 1y

I'm really struggling with this. I've had OCD for 20 years which was always about doing things by accident. But now I have this and it feels so real and so upsetting. I'm really worried to share this with a therapist. @amc1234 is your therapist from nocd? How does ERP work for this? Thanks

carol.xxx

Date posted: 1y

@tenby same im literally crying because i feel the feeking IN my brain do u get me

amc1234

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@tenby Yes I connected with a therapist through the NOCD app. My harm ocd was so bad I would panic anytime violence came on the tv, anytime I heard certain words, and so much more. I was plagued with thoughts all day and all night …I had to start with a hierarchy - so I started out with looking at images of knives, then images of bloody knives - moved up to holding knives, then holding knives at night in the dark (which I felt like a weirdo but my head was telling me I’d do it at night) .. it was also mixed in with a theme of being possessed by a demon or I was schizophrenic and do something so I often had to switch to those and do ERP with those. I have written scripts . My OCD told me if I did the laundry I would snap (which is not logical at all)- so I would have to just do the laundry and harm ocd even brought on these false feelings of anger. I can’t explain it fully but it didn’t feel like my real emotion… try not to listen to what OCD is telling you to stop doing. I still can listen to it here and there and then it ramps back up and I have to do ERP all over with high anxiety for a while before I return to a baseline again. OCD wants you in a box all to itself.

tenby

Date posted: 1y

@amc1234 Thanks so much. Whether I'm thinking something nice my brain adds a horrible thought onto the end. Mine is also now linked in with worry that I'm schizophrenic. Also whether I now want the thoughts which I really don't. My head also feels fizzy and weird which could just be all the anxiety but makes me worry it's schizophrenia changing my brain. I also have feelings of anger when I don't want them. It's all really upsetting and I think I'll be locked away and not seeing people again. I'm trying to get the courage to see a therapist.

LittleMissFo...

Date posted: 1y

There have been some times where I was really upset and my ocd took that time to give me unwanged violent images and make me think "I'm better off dead"

carol.xxx

Date posted: 1y

@SweetSunshine ive had that like i was so rough with ocd i had a really good sleep one night and woke up and i had the thought im better off dead and i wonder what being dead was like and it was terrible hope ur okay, remember it will get better no matter how deeply we r suffering

LittleMissFo...

Date posted: 1y

@carol.xxx Thank you. I am okay yes. My meds helped with some of thee Violent thoughts

lu22

Date posted: 24w

I really need advice harm ocd

I know we’re not meant to ask for reassurance but I’m currently not in therapy and I need help, it feels scarily real and I feel like I’m not anxious or worried over the thoughts. I had stabbing thoughts about someone I care about and I started deliberately imagining them to test myself to see if I hate it or not but instead it felt like I knew how it feels to stab someone and like the feeling of doing that physical action and I swear it is the worst thing I have ever experienced as well I had moments where it felt like It was about to happen or I keep getting this really sick ‘happy’ feeling that I want to do that and I don’t know what that is but it feels incredibly real almost like I was getting a happy feeling or wanted to do that thing and jsut wasn’t giving into it and now I’m thinking I’m actually evil and it feels like I get a pleasurable feeling over the thought of doing that and would want to do it?? Because I ‘like’ the feeling of doing it or it would ‘feel’ good I swear I really don’t know what to do it feels incredibly real I feel like I can’t even say that I’m worried or scared because I feel like I’m lying and actually want it and have evil desires I’m really concerned, I have never done anything bad in my life, I feel like what if through experimenting and imagining the thoughts to test myself I have suddenly discovered I like it because it feels extremely real that I would ‘enjoy’ or like Doing that evil thing and it’s really concerning, i don’t understand I was fine a few days ago and suddenly I’m experiencing this? Is it possible to suddenly become evil i don’t want to be evil, but what if i like it and my desire to not be evil isn’t as strong as this ‘happy feeling’ i wish I can be normal I don’t want any of this please but I swear I feel like there is something wrong with me, I think this is the worst I’ve ever felt, like it feels like I want it and would enjoy it and it’s making me feel really worried but at the same time I don’t even know if I’m worried please help I need advice

Hexxi

Date posted: 22w

Harm ocd urges?

Harm ocd urges Does anyone else have such strong harm ocd urges regarding your obsession that it literally feels like you’re holding back from doing it? I understand that harm ocd does indeed include urges, but can they rlly feel THAT real? Like at any time I could just “decide” to do it?

I’llbeokay

Date posted: 22w

OCD harm tw

Honestly ocd has been so tough these past months, like I wake up in the morning thinking I accidentally hurt my whole family and just don’t remember. And I start to question so much. And freak out thinking that I did. If anyone can relate I would love to hear from you ;) and any things that may helped you

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