My journey with OCD

Hi! My name is Mikhail. I have been diagnosed with OCD for a couple years now, and this year I started ERP therapy at NOCD. I first found out about Pure O from downloading NOCD's app and seeing other people post about their experiences with overthinking, fear, and shame. While I had been diagnosed with OCD before, I had never heard about Pure O, where the compulsions manifest themselves more internally. I was at a point in my life where I was isolating myself and afraid of the thoughts I was having all day every day. This eroded away my self-esteem and identity but the skills I learned doing ERP have helped me feel like myself again. I recommend doing ERP to anyone afflicted with OCD, as it has helped me train the mental muscles I needed to get back to my life again. NOCD specialists meet you where you are at and help you get better on your own terms. I have taken the opportunity to be an advocate because once I found out I wasn't alone with Pure OCD, it reignited the faith I had in ever recovering. Learning about other people's experiences and sharing my own has helped me live more authentically. I want to do anything I can to encourage others to recover as well, because I know it is possible and that this condition is manageable. Going through NOCD treatment invoked genuine compassion in me not just for others, but for myself, which is something I never truly felt before. If you have any questions at all, please reach out to me. I feel purpose in connecting with people about OCD and getting better together. Believe me, you are not the only one who has thought that crazy thing and then thought about thinking about it 17 more times until it impacted your behavior!

How has everyone else's OCD progressed throughout their lives? Has everyone else always had severe OCD or did you live regular lives beforehand and encounter one point where it went from 0 to 100. Where are you now in your OCD Journey? I'm very curious as to everyone else's stories and have left mine below if you’d like to read it. From what I can remember, I went relatively undisturbed by OCD  the majority of my middle/late childhood, only having about 1-3 thoughts a year that weren't super bothersome but did create a level of distress uncomparable to regular intrusive thoughts. They were mainly about my health and about my parents safety & wellbeing. The earliest memory about my OCD that really stood out was back in 5th Grade, when I hit my head on a swing set and immediately began reciting every moment leading up to injury as well as every math equation I knew to make sure my memory was still intact. The greater part of my adolescence was essentially the same and resembled what I believed to be a normal life,  just with a couple of OCD thoughts sprinkled throughout it. I was able to function pretty well albeit depressed and somewhat anxious. It wasn't until I was close to my highschool graduation that I experienced the worst panic attack(at the time) at the idea that I would hurt my parents. It was so distressing because the thought felt so loud that I believed it was genuine which only caused more distress. I was so scared that I would act on the thought that I discarded all of my sharp objects and locked myself in my room. That was my first ever severe reaction I experienced due to OCD and was back in May of this year. I actually learned what OCD was the same night and realized that many of my newly found fears including mold growing in my walls  and my parents disliking me were also caused by the OCD. Unfortunately learning that it was probably OCD wasn't enough to quell my fear and I engaged in a bunch of compulsions in the months to come, worsening my OCD In the process. June was alright. July was worse(I only had like three topics for obsessions which sounds great now). Late July-Early August was my tipping point . Things went from worse to profoundly terrible in a short period. I found this app late August which was great because I had grown exhausted. September was pretty bad but not as bad as August. Now it's October and life is somewhat good now. I've become more knowledgeable of OCD (big thanks to this app and my therapist) but I'm very far from done. There's still this looming sense of anxiety that follows me everywhere. I have like 20 obsessions now, some being larger and scarier than others but those smaller ones are still apparent. But, the fear has decreased as well as the mental compulsions that came with it. My mind is quieter now. However the anxiety has stayed the same. My heart still drops whenever my worst obsession is triggered. Headaches, brain fog, sweating, rapid heart rate, sense of being paralyzed, racing mind are commonplace in my life but I've learned to sit with  the physical discomfort (not that it makes it any less terrifying). Anyways, I'm here now which is cool. I’d like to listen to others' experiences to get a better understanding of OCD and maybe feel a bit less alone. feel free to ask any questions.

Have you tried it? Did you help with your OCD and anxiety symptoms at all? What was your experience like? Gathering research as I decide my next steps for medication. Thanks all.