I think tonight is it

@veinsoul Thank you that was really kind. I’m still trying 🫂

@Anonymous243 thank you for replying. I’m glad to know you’re still here. if it helps a bit, I’ll let you know I’m trying too. it’s hard but I’m hanging on desperately. we can do this 🫶🏽

@veinsoul Thank you. I believe you can do this too!

@veinsoul I know it’s been two weeks but I just saw your post. You feel like giving up just like I did. Please reread what you said to me, but say it to yourself. You are capable and very intelligent. I know how lonely and horrible this feels, but please know that you are stronger than this horrible disorder. 🫂🫂🫂give yourself a hug and know you got this. 💪

@Anonymous243 the thing is, I’m not even diagnosed. I rlly want to see if I have OCD in the first place bc all of these thoughts seem to be controlling me. it’s making me miserable. last night I guess I was having a meltdown and sent my previous post. thankfully I didn’t do anything (in terms of s*lf-harm) (censoring just in case) although I was planning to. in terms of exiting the game (ifywim), I don’t have the balls to even though I often think about it nowadays. I don’t want to die. although it feels like it sometimes. I just want the pain to end. I want peace. I’m quite scared of what happens next after death and the concept of infinity, which is why I ignore it bc then I start to get rlly anxious thinking abt it lol. so that’s what’s stopping me ig, then thinking about ppl I care about, my passions to do in this world, etc. now I feel like I have been lying to everyone of thinking of actually doing it. I have thoughts and that’s all. even though yesterday, for the first time, I felt like there was a brief moment where I thought I probably needed to go to the ER for my safety. nothing happened, I’m okay. just had a meltdown. I’m glad to hear that you’re still hanging around. if you’d like, u can share something about urself. I’m interested in learning about people’s stories :> (if it’s okay with u)

@veinsoul I feel really similar to how you feel. Death scares me so much and makes me feel genuinely sick once I start thinking about it too much. I also have some people I care about that make me stay. It’s really hard to think of such things during those meltdowns so I understand. Dont feel guilty about it. I’m glad you were able to understand what you mightve needed for your safety and I’m really happy to hear you didn’t engage in any self harm. That’s a really good thing and you should feel proud of yourself. I have suicidal thoughts often as well as thoughts of self harm but I’m trying my best not to go back into that addiction anymore. It’s hard. I have horrible intrusive thoughts all the time and a lot of them currently revolve around my boyfriend’s past porn addiction. I feel horribly guilty because I’m not able to be there for him and understand like I should. I feel like I have trauma from it and I feel guilty about that. My self esteem has also plummeted mostly as a result from that so things have been pretty hard lately. So I completely relate on that feeling of wanting the pain to end and wanting peace. I’m trying to get better every day but I feel like a failure every time I have another anxiety attack or argument with my boyfriend. I’m going to be able to get ocd therapy soon though so maybe that will do something. I dont know. I’m sorry if that was TMI but just know you aren’t alone. And I hope you can get a diagnosis soon and figure out what’s going on. :)

@Anonymous243 thank you for sharing this with me. I’m sorry that you’re going thru tough times as well. I hope therapy goes well! I’d like to hear about it if u ever wanna update. hopefully in the near future, I can go ahead and get a diagnosis. thank you again!

@veinsoul Thank you! I finally got an appointment. It’s next week, I’m excited.

@Anonymous243 let’s goooooo u can tell me how it goes if you’d like! I’ll be glad to know :D

@veinsoul Thanks:)

@User._0 Thank you❤️

@mandap04 Thank you. I’m glad you are better now ❤️

@Newerthannewb82 Thank you that is true. I’m glad things are better for you now ❤️

@Anonymous243 You are going to make it one day. Believe that.

@Stormyskies Thank you. I am. I appreciate it ❤️

@Anonymous243 Of course. We’re all here for you

@Anonymous243 Glad you’re still here too