Feeling ashamed and struggling with intrusive thoughts about a past mistake.

Real Event OCD, Regret, and POCD

Hi everyone, I am 20 years old with ADHD and i need some help. Recently, i got diagnosed with OCD; and i am dealing with Real event OCD/intrusive thoughts. When i was 16, i said something out loud (i think that was impulsive/intrusive) that was immorally wrong and against my morals. I was aware of my wrong doing, yet i still said it because i announced it in a “jokingly way” i completely regret it and ashamed of it. i don’t want to go into detail on what i said, because i don’t feel comfortable. But anyways, at the time i didn’t think what i said was “bad” and i just brushed it off to the side. then 1-2 months later, i came to the realization, that what i said was wrong. Since then, i have been fixated on the event as i feel like a “bad person”. What is wrong with me? Why would i say that? I feel like i don’t deserve pity or forgiveness. I don’t know what to do. I am not trying to find reassurance. I just want to find people who share similar experiences.

Username: anonymous12783927anonymous127...

Date posted: 15w ago

if you were a bad person then you wouldnt be reacting like this now. none of us our perfect, and a mistake you made, that you now realize is a mistake, does not define who you are. you should forgive yourself, that is the absolute best thing to do in this situation.

Username: Tea and HoneyTea and Honey

Date posted: 15w ago

I have gone through the same thing. When I was around 16, I said something outloud too in a moment of frustration when I was late for basketball practice and I couldn’t get my contacts in my eyes. I have religious OCD, so the obsessive thoughts that I had were all blasphemous thoughts against God. So it was very distressing to think if I had said anything out loud. What I have learned is that God is not angry at me for whatwhever I might have said out loud. I have total forgiveness. Everything is okay. I think it will really help you to feel that you are forgiven also. Can I ask what subtype the thoughts (and out loud words) were? But even if you don’t feel comfortable sharing the subtype, it doesn’t matter. If you said something out loud, and it was religious OCD, it doesn’t matter. If you said something outloud, and it was harm OCD, it doesn’t matter. If you said something out loud, and it was POCD, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter whatever it was. You are okay. Everything is okay. Sometimes we also get “magical” thinking that if we say something out loud, that something bad would happen. If you feel like that, be assured that it is NOT true. It might help you to process this a bit more so you can put this event behind you.

Username: ghost ghost

Date posted: 15w ago

@Tea and Honey Thank you for your helpful and kind words, i really appreciate it! The OCD theme that i am dealing with is Real Event OCD and POCD. POCD is the worst!! I don’t remember exactly what i said but i remember i was complimenting/admiring this fictional anime characters physique bc he had abs. and most importantly, he was 12 and i was 16. 🤢 i clearly knew what i was doing but i didn’t stop myself and i knew his age. also keep in mind the character never had abs until this one scene. this drives me crazy. i can’t emphasize how gross i feel, i feel like a p. 😞

Username: Tea and HoneyTea and Honey

Date posted: 15w ago

@ghost Don’t worry about it!!! POCD is just the same as any other theme. There is no difference. The reason OCD chose this particular theme for you is because it knows you care about being moral. Very sensitive and kind people get a POCD theme. (By the way, this is why my OCD is about God— because I care about pleasing God.) Don’t worry if you said something out loud or not !!! It doesn’t matter if you said that or not. OCD wants to trap you into an endless cycle of guilt. Don’t let it. Don’t keep playing it’s game. If you said those words out loud, it doesn’t matter. There’s nothing you need to feel bad about or need to fix. If the OCD wants to keep you stuck in the past, you can treat it with your OCD tools. I don’t have experience with real event OCD, but I would imagine you would treat it similarly to other things. If it were me, I would treat this just like one of my “episodes.” (My episodes are triggers that make me feel like my life is over and that I am a horrible person.) I have episodes once every few weeks or so. When this happens, I have learned to let myself FEEL all the feelings. (I don’t try to fight the awful feelings off.) Then I try to keep in living my life, despite the fact that the feelings are there. Eventually, the feelings go away. (This means I am Not allowed to ruminate about the episode. I have to go on living life.) I call this “swimming parallel”. I might FEEL bad, but I keep on doing my daily things anyway, even though I am not where I want to be. For you, perhaps this means that you don’t do anything to try fix the past event. And you don’t do anything to try figure it out or ruminate over it. You can have feelings that are all over the place, but you continue to live your life normally. Eventually, the feelings will subside.

Username: Ocdislame

Date posted: 2y ago

Can real event ocd, or ocd in general make you feel bad for something you did that was actually wrong? I keep thinking about things I’ve done in the past that are defiantly wrong and shitty things. But I’ve never really thought of them before. I knew they were terrible things, and I’ve not gone back since. Maybe 10+ years ago (when I was 19-21). I thought real event ocd was your brain taking things that are trivial and twisting them to make you seem bad. In these cases I’ve grown as a person l, I’m really not proud of myself and hope to never go back to that place. Is this ocd, or am I suddenly just feeling remorse for being a terrible person? I just feel the need to confess to my wife again, even though she knows most of it.

Username: Coffeelover11

Date posted: 1y ago

Anyone else experience this?

Does anyone struggle with real event ocd and having to confess to their partner? I have so many regrets on things I’ve either done or thought and feel like I can’t move on or be better until I’ve been forgiven for them. Mostly things that happened a couple years ago and I don’t know why it’s all of a sudden bothering me now but it makes me feel like I’m the worst person ever. I’m even questioning how I thought or felt during that time and I’m confessing to thoughts or things I may or may not have done or thought. It’s so confusing and I feel trapped in my own head. If anyone has any tips I would appreciate it. Thank you for you time

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 35w ago

Real event ocd

I’m sorry to ask, but I need support from someone with this particular subtype or who has dealt with real even around past mistakes. I’ve done a lot of things wrong and advice from my therapist is to not confess. Confessing is my compulsion, but some are really big mistakes from my younger years. How do you handle the feelings of guilt and shame without confessing? Have you ever confessed and were met with harsh judgement? I’m scared I’ll lose my will or desire to live just sitting with this guilt.

Real Events OCD

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Feeling ashamed and struggling with intrusive thoughts about a past mistake.

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