I told my boyfriend about some of my intrusive toughts and my ocd and other stuff that I don't know if they are real or not or if i'm thinking straight or if it's my ocd.. He doesn't know if he wants to break up or not and I never felt broken like this ever before. I don't know if i am a bad person or if it is my ocd. All i know is that i feel like shattered glass. I'm surrounded by people yet i feel so alone and empty

I can’t stop crying. My partner has been very distant. He just admitted he has pulled back because of how bad my ocd has gotten. I found out he was seeing his ex behind my back and has been lying to me to push me away because he can’t handle how bad it has gotten. I feel really sad. And I’m at a really low place. I feel like no one will love me because of the ocd. The one person I trusted and was vulnerable with just told me that my health condition is making him takes steps back from me. I’m extremely codependent on him because of the ocd. I feel so scared to be alone and battle this alone.

i really need some help rn. an argument with my boyfriend has really triggered my intrusive thoughts about how i’m not good enough and how OCD has taken everything from me and i have no purpose. to put things in short, my boyfriend and i went out with another couple who we are friends with and i had a good time. i had banter with my bf and said a comment about how he has memory of a goldfish which i didn’t realise he didn’t like at the time. on the way home he was super silent which put me on edge because i know it’s when he has an issue with me. then around the corner from my house he told me i didn’t talk to him with respect in front of people. and i genuinely didn’t understand why he felt like this. but i was annoyed because i asked him multiple times what the matter was and he said nothing each time. and then an argument started and he said some really hurtful things. such as i’m a nobody, i’m nothing special, i think i’m above people, how i’m a piece of sh*t, called me ugly too and how he can’t do this relationship anymore and he’ll get with someone else. this triggered me so much and i burst out crying and screaming bc i’m so sick of hearing these comments made towards me especially over something so minor. he made me feel like i was being aggressive for reacting the way i did and by screaming but my head was just not in the right place. my ocd and intrusive thoughrs are all over the place. i keep thinking i’m not good enough, if i was different he wouldn’t be like this. i’m so upset and sad. i try and be good enough. my ocd has taken so much from me. i dropped out of uni because of it and with his comments i feel even more worthless. i feel so lost.

I’m fairly new to treating my OCD and have felt crazy for most of my life. It didn’t help that no one in my life truly understood OCD and always said I was being dramatic. I very recently (within the past few months) finally got diagnosed with OCD and my whole life started to make sense. However, I recently opened up to someone I really believed I trusted about the intrusive thoughts I have and now feel worse than I ever have before. They essentially called me a psychopath and said they are worried for the people around me. Even though I would and could never hurt anyone. I’ve never felt more alone and broken in my life. I already try very hard to hide my OCD and everything associated with it because no one in my life understands so it’s been easier to deal with it myself than listen to everyone say whatever they have to say about my situation. After what happened today I’m even more inclined to just keep it to myself. I don’t know what I’m expecting from writing this but I figure this is the best place to write what I’m feeling. Going through OCD is hard enough on it’s own. But when people are telling you they think you’re a danger to society and are crazy because of your intrusive thoughts it really hurts. I’m just tired.