ROCD

Anybody with ROCD question if it’s really ROCD or if you are in a “bad” relationship compared to your friends? ( I know comparison is an exacerbating habit for ocd). I feel great with partner and then maybe remeber any negatives and ignore the positives about our dynamic. I’ll latch onto something he said that hurt my feelings and wonder if I’m in an abusive relationship and spiral. I’ll totally ignore anything nice he’s ever done and convince myself I’m in a mediocre relationship. I’ll assume he should be texting me more and express his feelings towards me more. Anyone else?

Username: ROCDmenschROCDmensch

Date posted: 14w ago

I think in order to get better you need to stop analysing and start taking road as a given. You need to tell yourself "maybe it's rocd, maybe it's not. But at this moment I treat it as if it's a given and I won't ruminate."

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 14w ago

/ dealing with feeling like i am never getting enough affection physical and emotional. Literally my body tingles bc i am so uncomfortable thinking about needing affection and not receiving enough from him

Username: I’m BatmanI’m Batman

Date posted: 14w ago

I mean reading this sounds like ROCD to the tee. If you were in an actual abusive relationship, chances are your friends and family would notice before you. Most people in a narcissistic relationship, typically friends and family pick up on that fast. Physical abuse you would already know and don’t need to ask outside opinion. As soon as you use stuff like “ love me enough” you are stepping into ROCD. Plus what’s a “bad” relationship? Bad is different for everyone. As far as feeling great and remembering negative things .. ocd loves that. It will lie to you and pic out every single flaw it can to get a rise out of you. What are the actual negatives you speak of ?

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 14w ago

@Anonymous Thank you for this. Some negatives I guess would be like I text him my feelings and he only “loves” the message or replies but doesn’t reciprocate everything. I tell myself he should be more excited. Or like he was late to my birthday party, or wasn’t supportive when I needed him one time. Just when he nit picks. Like I’m making a sandwich and he says it’s not a sandwich. He is very exact and it bothers me. But he is a kind person and is not as expressive as I would like. I need to give him the benefit of the doubt

Username: I’m BatmanI’m Batman

Date posted: 14w ago

@Anonymous So … ERP would say sure , it might not be a great relationship.. but I’m gonna stay it it anyways and see what happens. It does not sound abusive and you feel safe so not like you need to gtfo today. This part is probably reassurance which could be bad , but it just sounds like normal human differences and your ocd is just using that to lie to you and make it feel like the sky is falling. I assume you are in a male/female relationship, my apologies is not… but men and women show affection different. I have found my wife is more about words and things where I show love as more of actions. She might say I love you . I will say it back sure , but I like to go get her favorite food or maybe a foot rub. I like to “show love” via actions. It could be that . Or he could be an asshole. You might be an asshole lol. We have no idea . That’s the beauty of uncertainty… we have no clue , we are going to live with that uncertainty… ocd hates uncertainty and ocd can kick rocks. Live your life your way kind of thing , not ocd.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 14w ago

@Anonymous lol thank you! Yes male female. He can definitely be an asshole but so can I. I also know over the years or telling him he is not loving me “correctly” has worn him down and has him putting up defenses. I literally used to make him hug me multiple times until I felt like he was doing it “right”. But not I am better at just letting things be and accepting his love how he gives it. I think I will always feel that I want more and that I’m not getting enough kind action from him

Username: I’m BatmanI’m Batman

Date posted: 14w ago

@Anonymous Yeah that is the key. Just accept that you might be able to do better sure, but you might also do worse. And you are going to stay in the relationship and just see how it goes. Also I would suggest getting a ocd therapist if you have not already .. and bring him to a few of the sessions , if you have not already. Did wonders for my wife. She had no idea what ROCD was and just having the therapist explain it from a “Normies” point of view helped. Not sure if Normie is a correct term here .. neurotypical ? What ever you get the idea , not like us. Her idea of ocd was the TV show monk. It’s helped her a lot to help me . She calls me on my bull shit now and does not feed the ocd.

Username: ChibeeChibee

Date posted: 14w ago

I can REALLY relate to the comparison part. My relationship is incredible, not even my OCD can stifle this reality. But my parents disapprove of me dating (even tho I’m 24 lolllllll), and have put me through HELL trying to get me to break up with him. Meanwhile, all of my friends are in relationships where their families embrace them fully, and they can hang out together, go on trips together, and marriage is an easy discussion on the table. I compare and compare and compare. It HURTS. Tbh it’s not affected my relationship so much as it has affected my friendships. I hate to even hear about their relationships. It makes me flare up and depressed for my own ongoing hell. I honestly feel like an awful person.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 12d ago

YES. you put exactly what i’m feeling into words. it’s so nice to see that im not the only one thinking about this. my bf is the type to joke around and do playful teasing. Recently i’ve noticed that if he says something “mean” (which he never says in a mean way, it’s just part of the teasing) that must mean he’s abusive. i feel like i tend to take the last thing he’s done and use that to judge his whole character if that makes sense. like if the last action he’s done is saying something really sweet i’ll see his character as a sweet person. but if the last thing he’s done is the teasing i’ll see his character as mean or abusive. that has caused me to be apprehensive around talking with him because im scared he will say something that will trigger my ocd and make me believe he’s a terrible person.

Username: Louise b

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

ROCD

I always wonder “what if I’m not attracted to my partner” “what if I still have feelings for other people” “what if I cheated on my partner” “what if my partner cheats on me” “what If my partner annoys me and I don’t actually want to be with him” and I’ll do this so much over and over that I get so worked up I’ll criticize him, over analyze him, feel as though I don’t like him. But then an hour later after I find relief ( from telling him, looking things up, talking to my sisters about it) I’ll be in love with him but I won’t fully feel it because I’ll just be thinking about how I just felt before and how bad it was or anticipate it again for the future. So I’m constantly ruining it for myself, and it hurts so bad because he’s so perfect for me and so kind to me and everything about our relationship is right but my mind tries to convince me of other things and it feels so real.

Relationship OCD

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

Anyone relate (ROCD)

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years and he is an absolute angel. All throughout the relationship I would have nightmares and intrusive thoughts “what if he leaves/cheats”. And he would reassure me and treat me like the world revolves around me. Lately I’m realizing this was actually ocd and not anxiety as I had previously thought. I would get paranoid if he didn’t check his messages for a couple hours, I’d get anxious if I saw an ambulance heading toward his street while I was driving, I would ask for reassurance that he loved me constantly. Bear in mind, I have no reason to have these fears. My boyfriend is my best friend and has supported me through thick and thin and he’s amazing. One time a couple months ago I was being a bit snappy with him one night and I had the thought “only people who don’t like their partners are snappy with them” and it just stuck. Now I struggle with intrusive thoughts about my own feelings, do I love him, do I miss him enough, is my relationship going to end because this couple on social media broke up. I could deal with the thoughts about his feelings because he is so so good about making me feel loved but now I’m stuck in this constant guilt loop where I question my relationship for no reason then get anxious and feel guilty for even thinking that way because I think I’m manifesting it. Was wondering if anybody else in a healthy long term relationship has had this happen to them and how you talk yourself down :(

Relationship OCD

Username: lollypop48

Date posted: 1y ago

ROCD

Does anyone else’s OCD take things and run with them? For example, my boyfriend got annoyed with me recently and responded kind of rudely to a question I asked him. I told him that wasn’t fair and he agreed and apologized immediately. But now I keep ruminating on it that maybe this is just him revealing his true self now that we’ve been together for a while. Maybe the real him is aggressive and he’s going to snap at me in the future and I’m going to be stuck in a relationship that is unhealthy! Also I’m fearing everyone reading this won’t believe me that my relationship is good and they’ll be judging me saying it’s not OCD. Struggling right now.

Relationship OCD

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