I cannot tell if this is ocd or if I've realized that this relationship isn't right for me and won't last or I don't want to be in it anymore. I feel so confused or just sad and anxious. What if I'm not in love anymore
Sometimes ocd can trick you into believing you fell out of love! Love is a choice. Do you feel like it’s an urgent matter somthing that needs to be solved right away? I’ve felt that before and actually almost left my partner but then I realized that when anxiety wasn’t around I knew I loved my partner and if the thought of breaking up with your partner makes you really sad and really anxious then I would maybe wait until you feel like you are at a more calm place and wouldn’t make any rash decisions. Everyone’s experience is different. If you fall out of love with someone it will feel sad but it shouldn’t give you anxiety or make you more stressed, that shows somthing else is going on?
I don't feel as anxious as I did, but am still having the thoughts of "this relationship might have run it course and we're just hold on" or "I've fallen out of love or am getting the courage to breakup" and I feel guilty whenever we say I love you. I don't know if I feel confused or just trying to avoid the truth in some way.
Same 😭😭
"What if" is THE OCD question. If you're dealing with "What if", likely you are dealing with OCD. These are common fears in relationship OCD I have found. Stepping back objectively and evaluating your own safety and potential abuse or manipulation is one thing. If there are clear signs of that (which I have been dealing with in my past relationship) best to identify them and look at them empirically. But if you are concerned with not being in love, that seems very analytical like OCD. I often feel like I am not forgiven, even if I have been. I feel like its the same for love. You can still love someone even if you don't feel like you do. As Jean Val Jean from "Les Miserables" says, "to love is to act," and love is more than a feeling. I certainly don't feel warm and fuzzy feelings for my mom all the time, just as a 'for instance', but it doesn't mean I don't love her. Feelings can be deceptive, but sometimes it is the choice to love and the understanding and appreciation of someone's value that makes the action of love exist in longevity, feelings aside.
I don’t have any advice I just want you to know you re not alone! I deal with the same thoughts and worries with my relationship and we have been together for 20years.
has it ever felt like you actually wanted to breakup? I had the thought and it didnt cause me anxiety but idk if that means that I'm falling out of love or that this relationship isn't right for me anymore.
Lately, I’ve been feeling extremely confused and guilty. My boyfriend has been really busy with exams, and we haven’t talked much this past week. I don’t really feel like I miss him, and that scares me. It makes me think maybe I don’t love him anymore, maybe I’ve changed, and maybe this relationship doesn’t feel right for me anymore. A few days ago, a friend invited me to go to a club with her and another girl. I know that if I went without my boyfriend, he would feel bad — not because he’s controlling, but because in our relationship, we’ve always had mutual boundaries and respect. I decided not to go, but ever since, I’ve been spiraling. My thoughts keep going: “What if I didn’t go just because of him?”, “What if I actually wanted to go, but I stopped myself because I don’t really love him?”, “What if I’m holding myself back and this relationship is limiting me?” All of this makes me think I’m bored, that I don’t like him anymore, or that I’m staying out of habit. It’s hard to tell what I really want or whether these thoughts are part of ROCD or some deeper truth. I keep wondering if I’m just attached to him because he’s my first boyfriend and we’ve been together for so long. Sometimes I even think I wouldn’t care if we broke up, and that I don’t feel anything for him anymore — and that absolutely destroys me, because he’s such a good person who truly loves me. He doesn’t deserve to be treated with so much doubt and coldness. I feel miserable. I don’t know what’s real and what’s just obsession. It hurts that I can’t feel any clarity or peace. I just want to know if this is ROCD or if I’m in denial and refusing to accept the truth
I’m really anxious because I know my ocd is really bad right now so I shouldn’t try to figure it out cause my thinking is a mess but I’ve been having feelings of like I’m not sure if I love him anymore or worrying that I haven’t felt a lot like numb (a lot because ocd has been getting worse and worse) and thinking of like how I’ve been focusing on the negatives and only been looking at him through that lens and analyzing and also feeling like I don’t want this anymore. Basically just like negative thinking in feeling like I’m really scared it’s that it’s I don’t love him cause I don’t want it to be over and the thought of having someone replace him makes me ill. But like it feels like I’m not seeing him how I used to and it makes me upset. Today I was near someone I was like oh this person is cute and then I was thinking that the possibility of meeting someone new sounds exciting and now I’m freaking out because this in combination with feeling like maybe I don’t love him anymore is bad. Also my thoughts keep changing. and like sometimes it feels like I don’t care at all and this has happened but like worst it’s ever been and then other times I’m like I do care I do still feel. I’m just really anxious has anyone else felt this before and it was still ocd? 😭😭
Right now I feel like I’ve realized something awful. Like maybe… I never truly loved my boyfriend. Maybe in the beginning I was just excited to be in a relationship. Maybe I confused that excitement with real love. And when the intrusive thoughts started, maybe it wasn’t ROCD — maybe it was the truth hitting me. I write this and it feels real. That’s the scariest part. It feels calm and clear and like maybe I’ve just been lying to myself all along, holding on because I “should,” not because I truly want to. I can’t remember how it felt to love him — and that makes it worse. I feel so disconnected, so numb, like nothing makes sense anymore. Every time I try to feel something for him, it feels like I’m faking it. Like I’m playing a role, not being myself. But the thing is… I’m not at peace. If this was really the truth, why does it hurt so much? Why does this “realization” come with panic, guilt, emptiness, and so much fear? I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want to lose him. But I also don’t want to keep living like this — doubting myself, my feelings, and my past. I feel like I’m stuck in a cycle I can’t break, and I’m scared I’ll always feel this way. Has anyone ever felt like this before?
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