I cannot tell if this is ocd or if I've realized that this relationship isn't right for me and won't last or I don't want to be in it anymore. I feel so confused or just sad and anxious. What if I'm not in love anymore
Sometimes ocd can trick you into believing you fell out of love! Love is a choice. Do you feel like it’s an urgent matter somthing that needs to be solved right away? I’ve felt that before and actually almost left my partner but then I realized that when anxiety wasn’t around I knew I loved my partner and if the thought of breaking up with your partner makes you really sad and really anxious then I would maybe wait until you feel like you are at a more calm place and wouldn’t make any rash decisions. Everyone’s experience is different. If you fall out of love with someone it will feel sad but it shouldn’t give you anxiety or make you more stressed, that shows somthing else is going on?
I don't feel as anxious as I did, but am still having the thoughts of "this relationship might have run it course and we're just hold on" or "I've fallen out of love or am getting the courage to breakup" and I feel guilty whenever we say I love you. I don't know if I feel confused or just trying to avoid the truth in some way.
Same 😭😭
"What if" is THE OCD question. If you're dealing with "What if", likely you are dealing with OCD. These are common fears in relationship OCD I have found. Stepping back objectively and evaluating your own safety and potential abuse or manipulation is one thing. If there are clear signs of that (which I have been dealing with in my past relationship) best to identify them and look at them empirically. But if you are concerned with not being in love, that seems very analytical like OCD. I often feel like I am not forgiven, even if I have been. I feel like its the same for love. You can still love someone even if you don't feel like you do. As Jean Val Jean from "Les Miserables" says, "to love is to act," and love is more than a feeling. I certainly don't feel warm and fuzzy feelings for my mom all the time, just as a 'for instance', but it doesn't mean I don't love her. Feelings can be deceptive, but sometimes it is the choice to love and the understanding and appreciation of someone's value that makes the action of love exist in longevity, feelings aside.
I don’t have any advice I just want you to know you re not alone! I deal with the same thoughts and worries with my relationship and we have been together for 20years.
has it ever felt like you actually wanted to breakup? I had the thought and it didnt cause me anxiety but idk if that means that I'm falling out of love or that this relationship isn't right for me anymore.
I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now
These past few days I was fine. Minimal intrusive thoughts ,no anxiety etc(to add I'm on medication so maybe it's starting to work although it barely is 2 weeks) and today I got a sudden wave of anxiety and it started latching on some thoughts like" what if I'm in denial and I wanna break up with my bf? And what if erp doesn't work for me because I actually wanna break up with my bf?" But they didn't really stay long usually those thoughts would make me spiral for days or so, now they lasted for some hours. And now I'm trying to trigger myself into being anxious again because if I don't it means I don't have ocd and if I don't have ocd it means I don't love my bf and if I don't love my bf it means I have to break up. Idk if it makes sense but the lack of anxiety makes me wonder if I actually have ocd or not.
My psychologist tells me because my thoughts are based off of facts/ broken boundaries which is why I am having thoughts of am i in love , am I settling , and feeling guilty I should let him go to find someone who wouldn’t doubt him that I do not have rocd. She states rocd is intrusive , irrational thoughts not based off of real facts and I may have ptsd not ocd. He kissed someone else before we were official and he finds a certain type of female attractive that I find disgusting . So I spin about these issues all day long to the point I’m so unhappy with him and had to break up . It’s been over a month now but I’m still severely anxious and depressed The thing is I can’t stop thinking about this 24/7 with severe anxiety and depression and nothing is helping me . Can someone please tell me their thoughts
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