I cannot tell if this is ocd or if I've realized that this relationship isn't right for me and won't last or I don't want to be in it anymore. I feel so confused or just sad and anxious. What if I'm not in love anymore
Sometimes ocd can trick you into believing you fell out of love! Love is a choice. Do you feel like it’s an urgent matter somthing that needs to be solved right away? I’ve felt that before and actually almost left my partner but then I realized that when anxiety wasn’t around I knew I loved my partner and if the thought of breaking up with your partner makes you really sad and really anxious then I would maybe wait until you feel like you are at a more calm place and wouldn’t make any rash decisions. Everyone’s experience is different. If you fall out of love with someone it will feel sad but it shouldn’t give you anxiety or make you more stressed, that shows somthing else is going on?
I don't feel as anxious as I did, but am still having the thoughts of "this relationship might have run it course and we're just hold on" or "I've fallen out of love or am getting the courage to breakup" and I feel guilty whenever we say I love you. I don't know if I feel confused or just trying to avoid the truth in some way.
Same 😭😭
"What if" is THE OCD question. If you're dealing with "What if", likely you are dealing with OCD. These are common fears in relationship OCD I have found. Stepping back objectively and evaluating your own safety and potential abuse or manipulation is one thing. If there are clear signs of that (which I have been dealing with in my past relationship) best to identify them and look at them empirically. But if you are concerned with not being in love, that seems very analytical like OCD. I often feel like I am not forgiven, even if I have been. I feel like its the same for love. You can still love someone even if you don't feel like you do. As Jean Val Jean from "Les Miserables" says, "to love is to act," and love is more than a feeling. I certainly don't feel warm and fuzzy feelings for my mom all the time, just as a 'for instance', but it doesn't mean I don't love her. Feelings can be deceptive, but sometimes it is the choice to love and the understanding and appreciation of someone's value that makes the action of love exist in longevity, feelings aside.
I don’t have any advice I just want you to know you re not alone! I deal with the same thoughts and worries with my relationship and we have been together for 20years.
has it ever felt like you actually wanted to breakup? I had the thought and it didnt cause me anxiety but idk if that means that I'm falling out of love or that this relationship isn't right for me anymore.
I’m really anxious because I know my ocd is really bad right now so I shouldn’t try to figure it out cause my thinking is a mess but I’ve been having feelings of like I’m not sure if I love him anymore or worrying that I haven’t felt a lot like numb (a lot because ocd has been getting worse and worse) and thinking of like how I’ve been focusing on the negatives and only been looking at him through that lens and analyzing and also feeling like I don’t want this anymore. Basically just like negative thinking in feeling like I’m really scared it’s that it’s I don’t love him cause I don’t want it to be over and the thought of having someone replace him makes me ill. But like it feels like I’m not seeing him how I used to and it makes me upset. Today I was near someone I was like oh this person is cute and then I was thinking that the possibility of meeting someone new sounds exciting and now I’m freaking out because this in combination with feeling like maybe I don’t love him anymore is bad. Also my thoughts keep changing. and like sometimes it feels like I don’t care at all and this has happened but like worst it’s ever been and then other times I’m like I do care I do still feel. I’m just really anxious has anyone else felt this before and it was still ocd? 😭😭
Right now I feel like I’ve realized something awful. Like maybe… I never truly loved my boyfriend. Maybe in the beginning I was just excited to be in a relationship. Maybe I confused that excitement with real love. And when the intrusive thoughts started, maybe it wasn’t ROCD — maybe it was the truth hitting me. I write this and it feels real. That’s the scariest part. It feels calm and clear and like maybe I’ve just been lying to myself all along, holding on because I “should,” not because I truly want to. I can’t remember how it felt to love him — and that makes it worse. I feel so disconnected, so numb, like nothing makes sense anymore. Every time I try to feel something for him, it feels like I’m faking it. Like I’m playing a role, not being myself. But the thing is… I’m not at peace. If this was really the truth, why does it hurt so much? Why does this “realization” come with panic, guilt, emptiness, and so much fear? I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want to lose him. But I also don’t want to keep living like this — doubting myself, my feelings, and my past. I feel like I’m stuck in a cycle I can’t break, and I’m scared I’ll always feel this way. Has anyone ever felt like this before?
I know it’s long but plz read :( have been having really bad ocd about my relationship and my partner and it has gotten worse and worse over the span of like about nine months I’d say. I do acknowledge there are flaws and legit issues about him and the relationship like there are with anyone but I also know ocd has clouded my judgement and perception by analyzing everything and compulsions. For a while I kept feeling this need to get out which I know was ocd. I was really scared to spend the weekend with him because I thought I would just be annoyed and irritated cause it’s been that way for a while but he also was going through a period of high stress so maybe I was resenting him for that and I also wasn’t communicating how I should have been when I was upset because I’ve done that too much in the past. This weekend I was told in therapy to just be in the moment and not have to worry about trying to answer the question of do I love him or should I break up. It did help but It’s weird cause this weekend ended up better but I also was kind of numb? Like I was enjoying myself but didn’t feel what I always have felt in the past? Anyway, I am really anxious because i feel like if I loved him I would be supportive of when his parents compliment him or when he does well at something when instead all I think of are that I’m not happy or annoyed because of things he does that upset me or make me mad and it’s like that’s the only way my brain wants to see him as a person. Or when he is upset it feels like I don’t care like I used to because I think of how he doesn’t deserve this when he does this or he shouldn’t have this when he is like this etc. Why does my brain automatically go there? That’s horrible! I feel like I should be excited for him, rooting for him. But it also feels like I do care for him? But my thoughts keep changing. I am afraid I only am with him because I love that he loves me and how he treats me. This makes me feel selfish cause I can’t do that. I notice I still like when he cuddles me and is sweet to me and does fun things watching movies etc. And that’s not how it used to feeel which scares me because I don’t want to be without him. I also love his parents am I only with him cause of how his parents treat me? I feel so selfish and like I have to tell him and break up with him cause it’s the right thing to do. I never used to feel like this. I’m scared. Is it possible I’m just I’ve been mad and resenting how it’s been cause he’s been stressed mix with my ocd? My therapist said relationships can go through phases. Can I fall back in love with him again? I feel like I have to try to start with someone else like this is too far gone. I don’t want to stay in something where I don’t feel toward him the way I want to but I really don’t want to leave him. I feel like such an awful person cause he doesn’t deserve this and is so caring and loving despite everything the major thing that bugs me is how he gets irritable a lot which is an imperfection that makes me get anxious and question him😭 trying not to read into this and just follow what the therapist said but this is scaring me because I feel like if I loved him I wouldn’t think like this or feel like this.
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