I went on a vacation for two weeks and it was great and I barely had any intrusive thoughts and now I think I might be faking my ocd cause it’s like I was able to resist it so I must be faking it… and it’s making me sad and anxious.
why does faking ocd make you sad and anxious? let’s take the possibility that you were faking it, what do you define as faking? you felt those feelings and were emotionally affected by feelings and thoughts usually attributed to ocd. does the label of faking or not matter?
@maxowens I guess it doesn’t really matter but I keep convincing myself it matters and trying to figure out what it means about me as a person if I really am faking it
@TalmaRH well i hope that doesn’t come off as belittling your feelings, your feelings around them are valid and while i haven’t had the exact same situation i have had similar. i would just say that i don’t think it says anything about your character. if you think it does than it does but i would still implore you to look into why exactly doing that would make you feel like a bad person. and by faking it do you mean faking being a good person or faking your obsession?
@maxowens I feel like I’m faking my OCD
@TalmaRH okay i see. well just like all our obsessions, no amount of reassurance will ever feel enough. i think you should try to sit with the idea that you are faking your ocd, without attempting any reassurance. so for example, responding with “no i wouldn’t do that” “no i must have ocd because xyz…” and things along that nature should be resisted as much as you can. resisting is hard. a great tip i try and give everyone is to delay your reassurances rather than outright stop them. so when these thoughts pop up, you can reassure yourself, or go over it logically, once per hour. every other time the thought pops up within that hour, you have to resist diving into the thought whatsoever. so a good response when it pops up would be “i already went over that” “going over it again within an hour is not going to give me any new information” once you feel you have a grasp on that, you could attempt sitting with the uncertainty entirely, really accepting that you will never have a 100% factual answer of whether you have OCD or not. and that you very well could be faking it.
@TalmaRH though it seems that faking ocd itself isn’t the core of what bothers you, it seems like you believe that faking a mental disorder = being a bad person. we all have different moral standards, and trying to convince you through mine definitely won’t make you feel better either. so again, instead of just accepting the uncertainty of having ocd (which might not help if it’s not the root of what’s causing you anguish), instead accept that faking this ocd very well could make you a bad person. sit with the idea without reassuring yourself it wouldn’t make you one. delaying gratification to our brain, whether through quelling our fears or in other ways, will help you get a better hold on this i believe. at the end of the day, what 99% of OCD goals are is to be okay with the uncertain nature of your thoughts, but it takes time!
Anyone else feel that when they aren’t experiencing a theme that their ocd is almost non existent. It almost makes me feel like I’ve been faking it, and also makes me feel ridiculous for obsessing over things. I feel sorry for myself :/ I know that my themes are valid and felt very real in the moment, but after I “get over” them I just can’t believe that I was obsessing over something that either wasn’t true or didn’t apply to me. I would also like to know how to prevent themes from reoccurring. Health, religion and existential OCD themes tend to take turns throughout my life, I just didn’t know that was it ocd. Trying to break the cycle.
So I was doing good for about 5 months. I was going to therapy, practicing the skills, and for about the past month, I fell into a depression funk. The last week, however, has been a week of really loud OCD. I am in a constant state of anxiety and find myself doing compulsions. I'm wondering if anyone has experienced what I'm about to describe. I'm considering taking myself to the hospital, but my little boy's birthday party is this weekend and I don't want to miss it: I keep having this bad feeling like I actually want to do the bad things in my mind. I know OCD intrusive thoughts can tell you "I want to" but this just seems different - maybe it's OCD trying to come at me a new way. It's not like thoughts telling me "I want" it's like even when I tell myself I don't want to do the bad stuff, there's this nagging feeling telling me I really want to. I'm scared.
Whenever anyone starts to feel like their thoughts are less triggering or they feel a moment of happiness/ relief OCD tells you that you want the thoughts back or you actually like having the thoughts and maybe thats just the person I really am? I feel like im going insane😢
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