uwotm8

Date posted: 5y

Ignore this again. yet another record for my own sanity because my brain is a cruel bully and keeps making me doubt I’m safe, and my partner will leave me I’ve never had an std I’ve always tested negative I’ve been tested multiple times for oral vaginal and anal STDs which are all NEGATIVE can’t catch STDs from toilets / urine / objects - only penetrative sex Can’t harbour an std inside a tongue piercing- if it’s negative, it’s negative I am allowed to rule out STDs when I have worrying symptoms (uti, light spotting before period, sore throat etc) because I’ve been tested negative for STDs, and haven’t been with anyone else meaning it’s unnecessary to test for them again as I already have my answer Can’t pass on what I don’t have Nurses have said it’s an anxiety issue not a sexual one Stress can also cause symptoms anywhere in the body and I’ve been super super stressed for nearly 6 months now

marty12

Date posted: 5y

You’ve ticked that box now, just visualise that ticked box every time you go to think about it xxxxxxxx

uwotm8

Date posted: 5y

Thankyou it’s been hell xxx

marty12

Date posted: 5y

✅ please remember the box has been ticked babe, you can relax, do something you love xxxxx

uwotm8

Date posted: 5y

Thankyou so much I’ll remember that for future xxx

uwotm8

Date posted: 5y

About my eye chalazion / conjunctivitis too - remember this!!! Okay she said defo defo not an std causing it i would STILL have entire red swollen eyes and optrex antibacterial ointment wouldn’t cure it, my old antibiotics for skin wouldn’t mask it and there’s no possible way to transfer from eye to genitals because it just doesn’t work that way. If I had swabs at the clinic in my nether regions and they’re negative then so is my eye - they very rarely swab eyes and you’d be able to tell just by looking at me She told me to enjoy my holiday and relax

marty12

Date posted: 5y

It’s already ticked xxxx

scolytus-sco...

Date posted: 5y

Hey. Just wanted to let you know this is something I really struggle with as well, so I understand what you’re going theough. It’s literally just about STI’s too, no other health stuff really concerns me. I think the way they teach you about STI’s in school, in the really fear mongering way is awful, it’s no wonder people can really get themselves into mental rabbit holes about STI’s. It took me years to realize that the vast majority of them can be cured with antibiotics. I’ve been tested so many times, I’ve even bought one of those online STI kits which cost hundreds of euros because they tested for one or two additional infections. It was a waste of time though because the doubts about how trustworthy that test kit was of course didn’t take long to creep in. To be honest a lot of my worry about STI’s is I feel convinced I have something wrong with me and I’m passing on to people who I really care about. Anyway I know there’s no point in saying to you “you did your tests, they came back fine, don’t worry” because it’s not that simple with an obsession like this. All I can suggest is when the thoughts come creeping in after the initial feeling of relief when results come back negative, identify them immediately as your OCD thoughts and don’t let them rule you. Your thoughts aren’t real. Don’t try and fight the thoughts, just try and change your response. Don’t google symptoms! Every website seems to say something different, it doesn’t help at all and just makes you more muddled up.. Sorry for huuuuge comment, writing all that out is kind of intended to be helpful for me too, it’s good to give others the same advice you should be taking yourself haha Take care x

uwotm8

Date posted: 5y

I just can’t seem to function anymore. My job is affected because I call sexual health helplines multiple times daily and google at work and get regularly told off for it. My sexual side in my relationship has been dampened because I’m scared of passing them to him and I love him so much I’m terrified of losing him I have been tested multiple times and I always find an issue with it. Now I’m worried “what if the woman when I called the clinic to confirm I DEFINITELY had rectal swabs was lying? Or just told me to shut me up? And if I had then what if they’re not accurate? I could put my partner at risk and he will think I cheated then leave me”

scolytus-sco...

Date posted: 5y

@?uwotm8? Sounds like you’re going through a particularly rough time, and just going in circles.. I’m not sure if you’re in therapy or anything already but if not then definitely reach out for help ❤️ This problem clearly runs so deep, and coming to terms with the fact that no matter how many tests you do, you won’t be satisfied can be really difficult.. Getting tested over and over is the easy bit, deciding to address the root of the problem and do some soul searching is what’s difficult - but there is so much help out there, and you’re not alone (I completely understand how you’re feeling because I go through it all too) You need to be gentle with yourself and stop torturing yourself like this.. Can’t live life being your own worst enemy. Remember it doesn’t matter how many tests you do, it will always ultimately be the same result in you being dissatisfied still. Break the cycle of getting tested ❤️ good luck x

uwotm8

Date posted: 5y

I’ve checked my old messages to friends and I’ve always had every swab going - all negative

marty12

Date posted: 5y

? good job xx

uwotm8

Date posted: 5y

Transmission is impossible through urine and objects - called helpline again she said get help with anxiety Also confirmed rectal swabs

uwotm8

Date posted: 5y

Tests: 7th August 2019 - negative oral vaginal rectal 29th August 2019 - negative Vaginal Rectal

uwotm8

Date posted: 5y

Called nurse and confirmed the same info twice today she said I defo had all those tests

Elliesmith

Date posted: 23w

Is this a symptom of soocd

I’m 25 and never ever thought this before my soocd relapse. I have a bf of 5 years. Never been a high libido kinda girl. Don’t get me wrong I do get turned on by my bf but not like every day you know? - That had always been in the back of my head, is this normal and ok? But my ocd has latched onto the most scariest what if EVER. My brain is now saying How do you know you won’t prefer to sleep and kiss girls if you haven’t tried it: and it’s that unknown that is scaring the shit out of me. I DONT AND NEVER HAVE wanted to sleep / kiss a girl. But now my intrusive thoughts is all I think about!!! I don’t want I don’t want I don’t want??? So why does my brain think BUT WHAT IF??? I know ocd thrives off uncertainty which is why I think this is happening? But I don’t wanna find out or work it out because all I want is to be with my bf and marry him!! Is this just the epitome of OCD?

misereri

Date posted: 21w

Someone to talk to?please?

Hi, I'm 17,about to be 18. I've been struggling with these thoughts for the past 8 months. I was wondering if someone experienced ever the same because I feel im "different". BACKGROUND: (I'm not diagnosed with Ocd but seeing a local counselor) About 9 months ago I cheated on my boyfriend with this guy S (who blackmailed, manipulated and molested me). Since then when I realized that what i did was very WRONG and so I started ruminating picking apart every single interaction and telling my boyfriend, i tried to remember every single detail because otherwise I felt like i was being a fraud and hiding things to save myself, i had many crisis about it because I had also what i think was false memory ocd. My boyfriend forgave me idk how tbh I still wonder. CURRENT STRUGGLE: Months ago I was sure I didn't wanna S in any way and i was sure even when everything happened. For the past 2 months tho I've been having thoughts like " Do I love S?" "I love S" "S is hot" "Would S find me hot?" "What if I want S?" " What if I don't love my boyfriend enough?" "What if I secretly want S?" "What if I see my boyfriend as a friend only?Do I?" And I tried testing my reaction to intimate scenarios with S, I'm scared I like it i dont really wanna love S or have any secret attraction, I wish I didn't have any of this and I want to be sure of my feelings for my boyfriend because I know I wanna be with him and I see a future with him like he brings me comfort. But a part of me keeps trying to convince me otherwise. Sometimes I think I'd rather die than have these thoughts. Im so scared of not being able to control my feelings, im scared I can't resist S and its giving me anxiety and making me cry. Sometimes when i think of those sexual scenarios with S or I get those thoughts my mind tells me to smile because i like it because I find it funny. It makes me doubt myself all over again. Like I'm always like I need to test if I'd feel aroused to intimate scenarios with S, lately im trying to fight this urge to test and test but my mind is like "just do it this once so you can be sure. I can never watch anything romantic or sexual or whatever because my mind would be like "you and S" or sometimes I'm just enjoying time with my bf and im like " yes we can just have a sneaky cheating thing thats ok" and it makes me want to figure it out to find an answer a solution because idk it just does like I need to find the meaning of it if it means the truth and all. Im worried im just an awful person and these thoughts just ruin my quality of life . Today i had a crisis where i ended up doinf swlf harm, I'm so scared of finding someone that's not my boyfriend desirable or sexual appealing or whatever it is, I also have bodily reactions when I try to imagine and test my reaction to scenarios. Now i keep groing everytime and I dont know why but i have this sensation and I dont want to havebit especially when its something S related. Does someone experience the same thoughts? Am I alone in this? Is this ROCD? What should i do?

NOAHAHMED

Date posted: 15w

Health anxiety (Need Help)

Has anyone ever had an intrusive thought of thinking you’ve might’ve swallowed something dangerous and you can’t trust your own mind? And you feel like you need to go in to get checked out? Any advice or reassurance?

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