POCD- Triggers and compulsions

First, I want to acknowledge how challenging it can be to navigate OCD, especially when it targets something as precious as your relationship with your child. It's really encouraging to hear that you're applying what you've learned in ERP therapy and working through these difficult moments. It takes a lot of strength to do what you're doing. Let’s break down what you’ve described: 1. Why It Still Gives You the "Ick" It's completely normal for OCD to cause lingering discomfort, even after you've successfully faced a trigger. The "ick" feeling is your brain's way of trying to convince you that there's still something to worry about, even when you know logically that there isn't. This discomfort is part of what makes OCD so persistent—it's a mechanism that keeps you in a loop of doubt and fear. 2. Recognizing and Accepting Discomfort It's important to remember that the goal of ERP isn't to eliminate discomfort altogether but to reduce the impact that discomfort has on your actions and decisions. You did exactly the right thing by re-triggering yourself and sitting with the discomfort. Over time, as you continue this practice, the intensity of the "ick" feeling should decrease, but it's okay if it still lingers for now. 3. Ruminating vs. Reflecting It sounds like you're being mindful of whether you're ruminating, which is great. Reflecting on your experiences, like you're doing now, can be helpful, but if you find yourself stuck in a loop of questioning or analyzing the situation beyond what’s helpful, that can turn into rumination. Rumination keeps the OCD cycle going, so try to catch yourself if you notice you're going down that path. Instead, gently refocus on the present and what you want to be doing with your time. 4. Trusting the Process You've already shown that you can face your fears and tolerate the discomfort, which is a huge victory. The fact that you still feel some lingering anxiety doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong—it's just a sign that your brain is still learning that these triggers aren't dangerous. Keep trusting the process and remind yourself that discomfort doesn't mean danger; it just means your brain is still adjusting. 5. Be Kind to Yourself Finally, it's crucial to practice self-compassion. OCD can be exhausting, and it's important to acknowledge the effort you're putting into your recovery. Celebrate the progress you've made, and know that it's okay to have moments of doubt or discomfort—these don’t define you or your success in managing OCD. You're doing incredible work by confronting your OCD head-on and using the tools you've learned in therapy. It takes courage to face these challenges, especially when they involve something as sensitive as your role as a parent. Keep going, and remember that the discomfort will lessen over time as you continue to practice these skills.