For those with hocd you know those girls and guys who can make lesbian and gay jokes, etc. And not worry about their sexuality at all? I wish I was like that where those things didn't trigger me. The whole entire time Im thinking would I like that? If I kissed a girl would I realize I like it? (this is how Angelina Jolie figured out she was bisexual). I dont want to do any of this with girls but im so scared if I ever were to be around them that I would figure out that I like girls or I will just act out and kiss one.

I’m so afraid I might be lesbian. I was very anxious at first but it started to calm down. I’m only 15 and I have a boyfriend I love. At least I think I do, I always chose to question everything and over analyze. I found out about hocd and it described everything I was feeling. I’d take test and read articles like “am I lesbian” but I have never fantasied a girl or wanted to be with a girl sexually or romantically. But what if I’m in denial? I do think girls are physically attractive but I never crushed on a girl. I have always crushed on boys. And liked being with them. I’m just so lost. My anxiety about it had calmed down. But the question is still there sometimes. Earlier today, I found a girl pretty and I got scared thinking that meant something. Then I read about women who have married men, but they know they’re lesbian. I’m scared that that’ll Happen to me. I don’t want to be lesbian. No disrespect. But I just want to be happy. I think I’ve suffered from ocd before. Tell me anyone if I’m wrong. But I used to have thoughts of that my boyfriend would murder me in the future because of theses videos that triggered me. It caused me so much pain and felt so real. That I eventually started to think I’d murder my mom and sister for no reason. I felt so helpless. But I got through it. I hope I get through this. Please any advice? Is this hocd?? Does anyone else feel this way?

I'm in a weird position rn...I don't really fear discovering that I'll be a bisexual because that makes me think that I can be with men then and that if I turn out to be bisexual I still wouldn't date women...it's the fear of being a lesbian that's predominant in my hocd but lately my mind tells me that since I don't fear being bisexual that much I might be one and since a few weeks whenever I come across the word bisexual it feels like I'm happy or something but I don't want to be ...I just want to be straight...does this happen? I don't know if what I said makes sense.

i keep seeing people on here saying they never questioned their sexuality before and it makes me sick because i have and this is further proof that i am in denial. i questioned it though not because i liked a girl, but because i fit a lot of those stereotypes and started believing tiktoks saying stuff like "if you do this you're bi" or "if you like this you're bi" and some of them applied that's why i thought i was bi, but even then i didn't fantasize about girls and didn't feel like i was truly bi. but this makes me sick to the stomach. this doesn't feel like hocd anymore, it just feels like i am struggling with my sexuality and i hate it. i just please i don't want to like girls or be with girls please :(