- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I was like that before all of this ? looking back at my life before all of this is just so sad because one minute you happy the next you Ouchea with HoCd and I went to the see a psychologist today he doesn’t understand or even know what HOCD is he asked to go do research imagine how frustrating and demoralizing it is I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy and I didn’t even know that my mind could think of memories of when I was 5/6 till I had this HoCd wow
- Date posted
- 6y
Sorry English is not my home language
- Date posted
- 6y
I used to be like that.
- Date posted
- 6y
i noticed you said you “used to” be like that. so how’d you get over it?
- Date posted
- 6y
oh my gosh. this is literally how i feel. since my hocd, i’ve thought “omg what if i kiss a girl and like it and then turn bisexual” and that scares me so much. and now seeing that it’s actually happened to someone, it’s triggered my hocd and i don’t know what to do. i’m not attracted to women in that way. i don’t want a relationship with them. when i get intrusive thoughts or images of me with a “girlfriend” it just seems like friends to me. but still this freaks me out. a lot. because it’s something that can very well happen and that scares me because i don’t want it to happen
- Date posted
- 6y
Exactly the scary part is that the opportunity is there. For example, don't want to trigger anyone but the opportunity is there for us to harm someone we just choose not too. So that is why I find it scary: opportunity.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
Is anyone here actually gay and has/had sexuality or religious ocd? I don't have it at all haha I'm a lesbian myself without socd or religious ocd but I'm just curious: what's it like and how did you deal with the whole "biggest fear coming true" thing?
- Date posted
- 14w
So I’m afraid that I have HOCD, but at the same time that I might also be homosexual. Is that possible? I have all the typical compulsions… checking for attraction, analyzing thoughts, analyzing the past, analyzing emotions, searching the internet. Is it really HOCD? When I see anything related to LGBT, I get strongly triggered. Sometimes I observe how my body reacts around people, but most often I check with ChatGPT to calm myself down, although it doesn’t last long—it depends. I also compare myself to other straight women who look like lesbians, or to lesbians who look like they’re straight. I had a phase where I was analyzing my body… whether I have too much hair, whether I have an Adam’s apple, whether I act like a lesbian without realizing it. I also have the typical intrusive thoughts like “did something from the past actually mean something, or is it a sign?” “am I just lying to myself?” “what if I’m in denial?” “what if I’ve ignored signs my whole life and lied to myself?” “what if I’ll never be able to fall in love with a guy?” “what if there are too many signs and proofs and it’s true?” “what if it’s not HOCD at all?” And much more. But now I’m scared that it’s both—that I have HOCD and that I’m homosexual. I’ve cried multiple times because of this and it’s been going on for 7 months. Some days are better, some are worse. And there’s so much ‘evidence’ that I won’t even list now—over these seven months I’ve found so many things from my past and dreams that I feel like there has to be something to it. I’ve also had around four panic attacks because of this. And I truly believe I have HOCD and that I’m also homosexual, which is killing me and it feels horrible. I just want to be sure that im straight and be at peace. When im doubting and thinking that im a lesbian i feel like im not at peace and i hate it. But u feel like i just need to accept it but i don’t want to and i just want to have a boyfriend, kids but im scared that it’s not possible for me because im lesbian and i actually just think that i want a boyfriend but in reality i don’t. Ughhhh help me.
- Date posted
- 8w
hi everyone just wanted to share what i’ve been going through lately. i’m a 24f and im a masc lesbian. i’ve been lesbian for as long as i can remember. i’ve had crushes on girls since i was very young, my first kiss was even with a girl in pre school. growing up i was told it was wrong and didn’t even know what the lgbt community was or anything like that and as an adolescent i wanted to fit in with all the other girls and have a boyfriend or like a boy but it felt forced and unnatural. middle school was when i really discovered my sexuality. i had a crush on a girl and it felt so real and different. from then on i knew i was lesbian. since then ive been very comfortable in my sexuality and i should mention that i can admit when a man is attractive and have always been secure in that there was no other meaning behind it, that’s how secure i was. as of late ive had small triggers that made me question if i secretly liked men but id shut it down quick. i often get gender envy and if i were to find a man attractive it’d be because i wish i could look like them but then the fixation started where my brain started asking if this meant i liked them and it completely derailed me. ive also seen so many tiktoks of lesbians who are suddenly straight which added to my fear. it got really bad this last month where i started going on chat gpt for reassurance. my mind started imaging scenarios with men and asking if i was aroused or if i would enjoy doing things with men. it got so bad i would dread going to the gym. these last couple days have been okay ive been letting the thoughts pass but now that ive been more passive my brain tells me that it must be true that i actually like men because now my brain doesn’t feel anxious. i’m ts a continuous loop does anyone have any advice ?
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