- Date posted
- 32w ago
I believe OCD is basically a habit
By going through life having no or little OCD symptoms, to having it daily now, it's my belief that OCD is fundamentally a HABIT. Yes, this is simplifying it a lot, but I think that's what it is. Which is why ERP seems to be effective (although I've never done ERP). Like any habit, you have triggers, rewards, cycles, etc. Something triggers an alcoholic to drink, they get rewarded by the high, then they get hangovers, then they get negative effects, etc. Going through this myself -- Years ago, I literally GENERATED my own OCD. I remember how and when. I basically wanted to "come clean" to my girlfriend. Me and her had both done some somewhat shady things in the relationship, and this was me "confessing." Ok so here's what happened and here's what started it all -- so what started out as "confessing," absolutely went it to HYPER CONFESSING, day by day. I would scour my brain, trying to remember EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING I'd ever done "wrong" in the relationship -- however trivial or maybe some weren't as trivial. But the point is, the habit HAD BEEN SET. What started out as good-intentioned "confessing" to "have integrity" in the relationship, grew day by day into my brain interpreting that as "oh this is something you NEED to be doing every day. You NEED to be ruminating. You NEED to be "checking." AND IF YOU DON'T, you will feel SHAME and GUILT. And guess what it? It hasn't stopped since. What happened was it just moved the target. So, what started out as "did I do anything 'wrong' in the relationship" checking, it switched to "did I do anything 'wrong' in life." So that's where I'm at today. Stuck in that loop. Fun times.