please someone reach out I need help

tw//talks of sa and sexual acts I'm kinda worried because of something that happened with me and my boyfriend forever ago. When me and my boyfriend were being all over each other and things were heated, he asked if he could kiss me Down There and I said yes and then he proceeded to lick me down there a couple of times and then stopped. It made me uncomfortable and I told him to not do that because it was not that I expected and it shocked me a bit. He apologized and said he understands why I felt that way and I know he never meant to make me feel uncomfortable or upset. we talked more about it, and set a boundary about asking before doing anything like that instead of like before where we were both comfortable with kinda just doing stuff when we knew we were in the mood. I trust him but it did make me feel bad for a bit. This isn't SA right? I feel like I started to ruminate on this trying to figure it out desperately even though I used to be confident that it wasn't. this wasn't triggered by anything personal, just a random tik tok video talking about SA. I'm just worried but I have felt better ever since we had that conversation and set boundaries.

Real Events OCD

orla123

Date posted: 1y

This isn't SA, just a misunderstanding. Your boyfriend stopped when you asked him to and then you guys were able to set boundaries. I don't see anything to worry about unless this happens again

stxrmads

Date posted: 1y

hey, so something else happened, but it was where he forgot to ask before something and it wasn't anything major it was just intimate and he realized he fkrgot to ask as soon as I loved him away and he stopped and didn't try to continue or anything and apologized but it still makes me feel really upset that he forgot. he encouraged me to talk to my mom about it because im not able to stop thininkg about it and that shows me that he really does care and wants me to be okay and my mom has experienced sa so I trust her to protect me no matter what and she truly thinks this was an accident and forgetful moment on his side. I dont know if it's my ocd or not but I can't stop thinking about it and getting really upset about it though. all I want is to always talk to him about it to try and figure it out but also I feel so distant. I dont know if this means it was actually bad and I shoukd leave the relationship, ir if I can get to the point where i feel okay again because I know he respects my boundaries and it was just an accident. especially because he wants me to talk to other people and not keep it all to myself. I'm sorry but i just need someone to respond I'm really freaking out.

aaanonymous

Date posted: 1y

it's totally okay for you to feel uncomfortable, the most important thing is for him to respect your boundaries and for you two to talk and understand eachother

stxrmads

Date posted: 1y

I feel so bad for thinking this way of my boyfriend but I don't but what if I do? and what if it was sa??? I can't handle that I'm so terrified. is this my ocd latching on? I have had a bit of this worry before but I was able to calm down before it got really bad. we had talks about it and I felt better I think but now I'm so scared.

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