I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what my sexual orientation is. I love being with the opposite sex. I want to be with the opposite sex but what if I’m suppressing my true feelings? My intrusive thoughts and unwanted urges of the same sex are getting worse and I ruminate day and night. I don’t know if I should be with a man or a girl. And if I was gay, I’ve tried to accept it but yet I still like men. This is TEARING me apart.
You’re not alone. Also,🙂 it’s completely okay to not fully know. Maybe speaking with therapist who specializes in LGBTQ + your specific conditions can be helpful! Don’t force : theirs bisexuality, pan sexuality maybe look into. Regardless, remember it’s just intrusive condition nothing wrong with not knowing. You can always research and hey when you feel comfortable maybe date a women and see how you feel or date both. It’s more about how you feel/being treated then the gender so if that’s one point of view:) 🩷I hope this help a bit, I’m not an expert this just my advice.
@Colon:) But I honestly don’t want to date a woman it wouldn’t make me happy why would I do something that makes me depressed I truly don’t like this I’m never happy I’m depressed because of this. All I care about the unwanted urges and unwanted thoughts going away because it makes me suicidal
@Colon:) I’ve already tried to accept that I’m gay most of the time but I just don’t see myself as gay I just love guys I have a dream guy and that’s all I care about
@Colon:) So am I bisexual?
@Anonymous Possibly, but you may just lean more to preferring men. Honestly, if labels causes you distress/discomfort that’s completely fine. They’re just labels connected to a community that you may feel connected to, it doesn’t dictate who you are completely. Your free to feel how feel, identify with what feels right.
@Anonymous I just remembered this could be the intrusive behavior/condition. This is why I recommend before further therapy/medication. I’m currently on Luvox medication for severe OCD etc. I think medication can be a helpful so you can see how you feel about your sexuality, with the removal of unnecessary/negative intrusiveness.
@Colon:) You already there you just need more custom support😊. With this I hope the intrusive condition decreases/if so completely . This way it’ll be much better to evaluate your desires: relationship wise,understanding yourself better. Remember you don’t have to identify within bisexual , gay or whichever community. Just focus on getting more individual help, you’ll discover yourself the new you.💐
@Colon:) Luvox thank you!
@Colon:) Do you struggle with SOOCD?
I feel like evryone is saying yeah the worst part is not knowing what my actual sexuality is however for me its like not that but more about being another sexuality and not being able to be with my bf because "my body and my truth are stronger then my will to stay with my bf". I also have the fear of SOOCD ending up being true or for example and more specifically liking it and never going back to men... I dont know if anyone relates to that, let me know!
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
As a lesbian with SO-OCD, I feel so helpless. It's truly exhausting because no one I know understands what I'm going through. The first response is always, "You're just confused" or "You don't have to know yet." But that's not the issue, I do know. I just never see any lesbians with SO-OCD so I feel so invalidated. These thoughts flood my brain constantly, forcing me to analyze my reactions to every man I see. I feel trapped in an endless cycle of "testing" myself, trying to prove that I don't like them. But my brain fights back, telling me I do want to love a man, making it feel real even though don't want it. It's terrifying. At this point, it's hard to even hold onto my identity as a lesbian because I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know if this is what real attraction is supposed to feel like, and that fear eats away at me. The truth is, when I think about being with a man, all I feel is disgust and fear-but my brain twists that into doubt. I hate it. I'm at the point where I'm scared I'm going to have to accept something I don't want because I don't know if this will ever go away. I miss who I was before all this.
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