- Date posted
- 1y
- Date posted
- 1y
You definitely have a lot to vent about. I have had harm OCD before much was know about OCD. I guess deep down inside I knew that I would not act on any of these thoughts but the fact that they kept coming up and the anxiety and guilt I had totally sucked. The “what if” thoughts are definitely OCD trying to keep you in the loop of trying to figure out if there is any validity to the thoughts. There is not. Avoiding things that triggers the thoughts makes your brain think these thoughts are important, they are not. Please get as much information on harm OCD to educate yourself on how to avoid making the symptoms worse. These thoughts bother you because you don’t like them and really who would. Most people who get an intrusive thought can just blow it off as untrue garbage and go about their day. Taking these thoughts and the anxiety they bring as important makes them stick. A good thing to do is to learn some techniques to relax and be focused in the present instead of always in your mind. You are not alone and you can see past the OCD tricks with practice.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y
Carol, everything you're experiencing us textbook harm OCD. You are not alone. The good news is it's treatable. You didn't mention if you ate in therapy, but if you're not, please consider into getting into therapy with a trained OCD therapist who uses ERP therapy. You CAN recover. NOCD has a lot of good OCD therapists affiliated with them. Why not check it out.
- Date posted
- 1y
You are not alone, I genuinely feel like I could have written this! I think the best thing you can do in low points like this is remember that you’ve had all these thoughts before and survived. And to carry on living life as if you don’t have OCD. Easier said than done I know! But getting the little things in order (good routine, spending time with friends and family, exercise etc) really does help. Sending you all the positive vibes! ❤️
- Date posted
- 1y
Nathan Peterson has some good Harm OCD videos. The one below is called “What if I Snap?” https://youtu.be/3aOjh_CPydc?si=jCtgiz3XCNFVufGP I’ll post another one also
- Date posted
- 1y
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
i’m back in a cycle of having harm related OCD thoughts and feelings and urges and i get these episodes where it’s like i’m disassociating and feel like i’m about to snap and go crazy violent. does anyone else experience this? i need help
- Date posted
- 19w
Hey guys. I feel like no one will even reply to my post. I feel anxious af. I could barley eat a plate of soup. I feel so drained and fatigued and feel the anxiety in my stomach. I'm just so worried I don't even have harm ocd anymore. Its just... I grew up in a household where swatting people was normalized like if you did something really naughty. I never really questioned it and I grew up thinking it was an okay thing and would sometimes swat someone when they are being naughty growing up and even recently. I would never swat someone at full force or enough to make someone cry just more like a hard tap to get their attention but it feels automatic? And even then it's really really rare for me to do, i much rather talk sternly or tell someone. When i do swat its bc like if someone scared me I guess I hit their hand and say "THAT SCARED ME" and we both start laughing or if my older niece was roughhousing with her younger sister and the younger one gets hurt and the older one laughs, I swat the older one once or twice on her arm as a discipline and say "what is wrong with you??? Why are you laughing? You are much older than her! You could've seriously hurt her." And idk how but i never thought like how wrong this is?!... and I feel like sh/t like ocd keeps saying "well you have swatting impulses when someone is misbehaving or if someone scares or hits you, meaning if you get an impulse to do something really evil instead, you wouldnt be able to control yourself huh?" And I started to get so anxious and scared. Ive NEVER acted out on the harm ocd thoughts (nor do i even want to) ive been getting daily for 4 years even when they are misbehaving. But i get so scared like WHAT IF I get an impulse to do the evil thoughts? What if I lose control?! Is this a history of violence/ low impulse?! Does this mean i would act out on my fears?! I've never wanted to do these thoughts before but i get scared like what if I do one day? This whole day ive been ruminating and asking ai for reassurance. I feel terrible. I feel like a horrible person. I started to cry. I just cant anymore. I feel this weight on my chest. I feel so evil so irredeemable. I f/cking suck. I hate myself so much right now. I feel so much guilt and shame. Why am I still here anymore? Maybe i dont even have ocd and maybe i never did. This is just breaking my heart. I want to change and unlearn this swatting behavior as well for sure. :(
- Date posted
- 17w
I’ve recently been struggling a lot with OCD. I have had OCD for a long time I just didn’t realize it until more recently. About seven months ago I developed panic attacks one day randomly at work. I thought I was having a heart attack and went to the hospital where they told me it was just a panic attack and I assumed I would snap out and be better within a few days. However it didn’t. Here’s where it gets scary, I was staying at my then boyfriends house while dealing with blurry vision, anxiety attacks everyday, and more (unsure of what was going on). But at some point I saw my bfs (pew pew 🔫) on his table and it sent me into an anxiety attack after sudden thoughts that I was going to hurt myself with it. I begged him to put it away when I’m not looking so I didn’t know where he put it. He did. These thoughts lasted for about four days but began to go away. (I thought that was it and I would be back to normal). Unfortunately though I ended up moving back in with my family when we couldn’t get my panic attacks under control in time for me to get back to work and pay bills. However, coming home brought up a lot of trauma from when I was kid. My anxiety got worse but I didn’t have those thoughts again. About two and half months ago though, I got sick and went to the hospital where they gave me steroid pills and a steroid shot but sent me into some kind of psychiatric event. Ever since then though, I have been suffering from harm OCD, I have had moments of intense anger that I usually have to completely walk away and go on my own because of how intense they are, and it feels like it’s getting worse. Today I felt fine until about and hour and half ago where I started to dwell on the fact that my suicidal thought was influenced by my OCD and at the moment my OCD is at the worst it’s been. This caused me to get suddenly really depressed and I started crying thinking about how I can’t handle this. I then saw a post talking about how suicide rates are high for people with this form of OCD and it made me question if I am mentally strong enough to pull through this. I fear that at times I’m getting worse. I have good days but I have a lot of bad days. Unfortunately this sent me into such a bad panic attack I went over to my nanas crying about how I can’t deal with this. I took a 0.25 mg Xanax which helped calm down the panic attack portion of it but my brain is still uncomfortably active. I guess I just need hope. I’m so saddened by this. It’s like my life took a total 360 in 10 months and got even worse since the steroid shot. Idk what to do about it. I can’t stop the spiral. I talk to two different therapist weekly and start more next week, making it 5 times a week. I feel no improvements…
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