Hey guys I haven’t been here in a while . I thought if I didn’t talk about my obsessions or interact with others who have ocd it would help with my recovery but I was wrong . I’ve been in treatment for about 4 weeks now , I don’t really have that much anxiety when I get thoughts of being trans but I still don’t feel the same , when I do things like get my hair done or my nails it doesn’t feel the same . I feel Luke My old self is really completely gone . Memories of me being my old self don’t even feel like me anymore and it feels so far away . I can’t even remember who I am anymore and that’s why the thought of me being a boy just feels so real . I don’t wanna be trans but it feels like I have no choice . It feels like the ERP isn’t working . I feel like I don’t know who I am and it’s putting me in a scary place . I know who I want to be but what if I never get there . Being a girl just doesn’t feel as enjoyable as it did before for me . I just don’t know what to think or do anymore ... I just wish I can start my life over before all this happend . It ruined me

I feel like you a lot. Some days it makes me a mess and some days I just keep on. You are not alone. And you will be alright. The thing that keeps my sanity is the fact that I dont have to define anything. I think that definitions are the enemy of OCD.

Hey Naj, stick with the treatment, its not a quick fix it will take time to fully kick in and for you to see the benefits, dont let the OCD make you doubt your treatment or abandon it. I know how you feel about not feeling ‘your old self’ but remember you are still you, you are still who you always were, and you will be you forever, all thats changed is that you have been expiriencing intrusive thoughts. It happens to millions of people, and it can be unsettling and scary for all of us , but just remember it doesnt change who you and suddenly make you different! The key to helping yourself is to not fight with the thought, allow them to come and go like the thousands of other meaningless thoughts that happen over our lives! Wishing or wanting to go back in time will make them worse, accepting them and knowing they are a normal thing, no matter how strange they feel, will eventually make them feel Less and less strange and upsetting! Maybe try mindfulness meditation alongside your treatment, it wont get rid or clear the thoughts, thats not the aim, but it will teach you how to let thoughts come and go without beating yourself up or being judgemental... I hope things get better for you, stay safe and remember to never give up!

i have the same exact thing oml

I have this, as well as false memories