Road trips/Vacations

recently my intrusive thoughts haven’t been bothering me much, unless i’m busy doing nothing. i suffer from SO-OCD. whenever i think yes, these thoughts don’t bother me anymore, i’m doing great, i then work myself up like ‘well your thoughts are obviously true then otherwise they would make you upset and uncomfortable’. when i get the thoughts they do still make me feel this way but also not as strong. I do then panic and think i’m something i’m not, despite knowing the truth. also anyone know why they get worse when i’m bored or not doing anything? 😢

Does anyone else have the strong urge to do some sort of drugs sometimes when there ocd gets really bad or over nothing in general, like I’ll just be sitting doing nothing and my brain goes “you need to do cocaine right now or else” and I get a urge and it’s so like odd to me??? I’ve never done drugs in my life and never plan to because my father was a addict and I’ve seen what they’ve done to people so it scares me when I get these thoughts and then I get the urge to reach out to someone who can give me drugs and I play this whole scenario in my mind where I contact someone and I meet up with them and pay them for the drugs and then I take them and die and it’s like??? Idk I’ve had weird intrusive thoughts involving drugs before but this is like different if that makes sense, I also can’t stop focusing on how my body feels when this happens like it’ll feel like I was a previous addict and that I’m going through withdrawal and need something or else and it’s just so weird to me. Anyone else go through this?

How do yall handle intrusive thoughts !? I never realized that was a thing I think I’ve been dealing with this sense I was in elementary school I remember getting on the bus and had the the worry my mom was gonna get in an accident and it’s just gone from there