Rabies OCD

@salvation Its because OCD doesnt deal in odds, only stakes!! If the stakes are high, odds dont matter even if its .000001%

@Evoorhee You describe it exactly like how I experience it. I never put it in those terms, but that's exactly right. The scenario is so bad that even if I can somewhat convince OCD that it's probably not going to happen, it still demands my attention and response because ignoring it could mean I lose everything.

@salvation But here is where OCD gives itself up.. it attacks every single situation, making it obvious its ocd. After the raccoon incident, a few days later i saw a stray cat that had kittens on the side of a customer’s house and it ran off. It never even came near me but inside my ocd was screaming “its going to bite you, and your gonna get rabies. On no, maybe it bit you and you didn’t know, check your legs, take photos of your legs and arms.” And i was trippin all day about it after i left. And no attack even happened. A few days later, I was in a customers storeroom, and I brushed my leg against a crate, and it kind of poked me, I looked back and saw nothing. A couple minutes later I was like I need to go back in that room and photograph the whole room to make sure it wasn’t a bat. I was tripping on that for a couple of days until I actually called animal control and told them the situation. And they said it would be highly unlikely that it would be a bad in broad daylight in a Bright room, and didn’t see a bad at all. They even said I’m overreacting. Then the next day I was in a customers attic, and I brushed my arm against a piece of wood and felt a poke from some of the splinters sticking out, automatically had to check to see if it was a bat and it was eating and I just told myself you cannot be bitten by a bat this many times, it can’t be every single time this is not real.

@salvation Also, when you can actually think back in the past, when you never worried about something like this before, and you were doing the exact same things you always do. Why were you not that scared before and you were just fine? Why can’t it still be that way? I would’ve never thought any of this about rabies and I’ve been in over a few thousand attics, basements, I rolled around underneath my house for months, redoing the HVAC system, I called around in my own attic for months, redoing wiring and installing security cameras and cable boxes and never ever worried about this at all. Why now? Its so irrational!!! But if the same time, I could be worrying about all this and die tomorrow in a car wreck. Chances are much higher!!!

@salvation This morning I spent 30 minutes reviewing all of my security cameras, making sure I didn’t run the toddler over. They live next-door, despite seeing him standing in the driveway with his dad, and seeing him after I came back home playing with his baseball out front. OCD is like what if you didn’t see him, what if that wasn’t him playing baseball after you came home? You have to check the security cameras make sure he wasn’t behind your car. Make sure he wasn’t in front of the house when you left… seriously it’s not that we are crazy, it’s that we have very sensitive amygdalas. It’s the part in our brain that sets off the flight fight or freeze syndrome. It can be exterior or interior like thoughts that set it off that’s it and it makes us feel and act like we are crazy false alarms 99.9% of the time but get this, when something real happens like real time terror and danger anxiety is nowhere insight you are like spot on instinct like you have no fear at all. The fear of something happening is always greater than it actually happening.

@Evoorhee You sound like me a few years ago. I even had that fear of unknowingly running someone over. Avoid compulsions as much as you can. It's a drain on your life.

@salvation Yeah, I’ve had hit and run OCD for a little bit. I even went as far as installing dash cams in all of my cars so just in case something did happen I’d be able to prove that I didn’t do anything. I even check underneath my car before I leave for fear of running over a child, that was hiding under my car. I don’t really review the tapes. I just save all of the memory and then once I know that nothing has happened I delete it. But yes, it is such a waste of time always checking, and I have realized that not being able to check is what causes most of the anxiety and doubt. I am stuck between knowing I shouldn’t be checking and knowing OCDs bullcrap! Lol I have trouble not engaging. I will tell myself I know this is baloney, but I’m going to check anyways. I have also come to realize that even though I am completely 100% aware of my OCD, it is not something that I will be able to cure, I’m handling it like trying to keep a cracked lid on a McDonald’s cup. There was one point in time where I was actually OCD free, as in no obsessions, just living, normal life, and I’m trying to get back there.