I just need to know I’m not alone

In no way they will think you are crazy, they have heard of everything under the sun! They know how OCD works and the terrible awful thoughts that they give us! I have had millions! Find a good match with a therapist on here it will be a good starting point!

Please start therapy. It will be difficult at times but I know you will find a path to healing. Your therapist will not expect you to or make you talk about you darkest thoughts immediately. It's not like that at all. It's a process and involves building trust and a comfort level, and that takes time. And you can certainly switch therapists if it's what's best for you.

I get that “I’m the worst case” and “my OCD is different” all the time! I’m working with a therapist on here and has been very helpful. We are not alone! OCD is the worst but we Fight on! It does get better :)

Hello, fellow new PP mama here. I promise you, your doctor has heard it all and worse. I finally had to call my OB and tell them everyyyyyything. They adjusted my meds and I’m feeling so much better. Trust me, it’s worth the talk with your OB. A healthy mama is important

You’re not alone. I’m not a mother. I’m 22 years old and I’ve raised two amazing service pups. I get these intrusive thoughts about my furry babies, but I also experience your thoughts about my future children. I’m very maternal, and I’ve always felt destined to be a mother. I’m very emotionally attacked to my future as a mother, and over the years as my mental health has gotten more severe, I experience horrible intrusive thoughts about my future children. I fear sexualizing them, harming them, traumatizing them, abandoning them, or straight up ending their lives. I’ve read stories here and there about bipolar moms, and I have bipolar, and the horrible extremes their mental illness hurt their children. The images of me failing as a mother haunt me. I’m terrified of how profound these thoughts will get once I do have children. I may not be in the same situation as you, but I can empathize with you. I also will most likely experience what you’re experiencing right now within the next decade of my life, so at that point you will really not be alone. I’m right here with you. I’m trying to not let these thoughts turn me into a woman who’s not interested in having kids. I want them so bad, I want to raise amazing children and practice all of the skills I’ve learned in life. Use my knowledge of suffering to guide and aide them. I’m sure you will accomplish this dream too. Continue doing the work, and trust that you love them so much and really want the best for them. You will provide the best for them. I’m sure of it.

You are NOT ALONE! ♥️ That’s exactly how I felt when I was postpartum with my first baby, my son. I remember sitting there wanting to die because I just wanted the thoughts to stop. I confessed them to my husband, some of my family and eventually started therapy. They came hard at 2 months pp and then kind of went away after a while, but then came back hard around a year and that’s when I had to start therapy. Then they have just been on and off since and have come in different ways after my second baby. I know how debilitating and so isolating it can be. I just got diagnosed with OCD and didn’t know these horrible thoughts towards my son were OCD. I had no clue where they came from. Then I found out what intrusive thoughts were and that was validating but I thought it was just part of pp anxiety for a while. This was about 4 years ago and I have been on a journey ever since. Finally, here I am fully understanding all of it was my OCD. I think the hormones PP can amp OCD up like crazy and mine came hard around times of stress too. So all that to say, I promise you I have been there mama, and it is so so hard. Definitely try to start therapy. If you have someone who knows about OCD they know how dark some intrusive thoughts can be. They have probably heard it all. My therapist isn’t even an OCD therapist, she is a perinatal one(so knows about intrusive thoughts pp) but I felt like she totally didn’t judge me. ♥️ You are going to be ok. Sending you love and hugs!