Confirmation Bias

Yesterday I made a post talking about how I suffer from what I consider spiritual OCD. To sum it up I’m an atheist but since so much of religion is just fear based control to keep money flowing into churches, sometimes as a human being the fear will get to me anyway. I talked about how I was stuck ruminating about a demon my mom showed me from the Bible as a child while I was working on my new floors. The spot I worked on while thinking about these things has started to make noise. Here’s what I failed to mention, specifically, it is a sticker made for countertops (self adhesive) and that particular spot I had simply cut around the furniture instead of moving the furniture and putting the sticker flush underneath it. The sticker itself may be pulling, settling, ect. Especially as wood furniture changes throughout the seasons and my air conditioning is actually aimed right at it. That’s the scientific explanation I keep giving myself whenever I hear it. Though the need to scientifically explain everything seems to be compulsive. For the last 4 years I’ve had my tv off. My mom was mostly interested in the tv and when she passed away I had no reason to keep it on. Today I finished the wallpaper part of redecorating my living room. I figured I would complete the look with giving my poor neglected tv a chance. I’m triggered by many things on the tv so I left it on a simple old game show channel. The thought crossed my mind that the show is old and some of those people may not be alive now and my mind for a short moment thought about ghosts but I brushed it off and reminded myself that the tv had been on that channel for many years with no problem and I don’t believe in ghosts anyway, though ocd has me running from them anyway most days. The tv had volume and game shows are game shows, they were blurting out random words. Ofcorse the darn “spooky” floor decided to make its cracking sound when someone on the tv said “counter” It sucks to feel this way it really does. I know it’s irrational to believe a crazy coincidence like this and I don’t believe the demon is bothering my floor, I don’t think it exists in the first place. My initial thought was that the “character” had actually been how someone identified as a Dissociative Identity Disorder alter back in the day before it was scientifically explained and after being traumatized and projected onto by their surrounding religious society, shamed into believing that’s what they were and looked like sadly even though the human who reported this was most likely a survivor of sexual assault. It hadn’t exactly spooked me, but I guess I can say it slightly did, being that the flooring is made for countertops and it creaked when someone on the tv said “counters”. Simply coincidence and confirmation bias but I hate it. A few other examples of this: I’ve also had my bathroom sink turn itself on when I was doing exposure response prevention one time. I had been simply coloring and listening to music at the same time (both things ocd has taken away from me) I couldn’t get my mind off of gypsy rose’s mother and had intrusive thoughts of trying to contact her spirit. I mention again I’m an atheist and these thoughts were stressing me out and annoying me to no avail. So for ERP I simply allowed the thoughts to flow as I listened to the music and colored. Then my bathroom sink started running. I may not be remembering correctly but I think I got up and turned it off, reminded myself I had most likely had it running the entire time and since I was spooked a little decided to turn on some Bluey and lay down, I gave up on my coloring. Bluey can trigger me sometimes being that they say “mom” and “dad” a lot. Both are dead, and so is gypsy’s mom who I had been thinking about. I can’t remember exactly if they’d said mom or dad but almost as if right on cue the sink had turned itself on again! I was truly spooked! It could’ve been a water pressure issue if I hadn’t closed it all the way but I was really afraid. I kept watching Bluey anyway until I eventually fell asleep. Another example, I experience the phenomenon called the idiomotor effect that is marketed as ouija boards, which is the reason I struggle from these things in the first place. My thumbs will twitch, my body moves on its own, ect. I am aware of how it works and that it is my own psychological/subconcious making these movements but it upsets me anyway being that sometimes it will respond to exactly what I don’t want it to respond to for example if there’s a villain on screen during a movie/show ect. One day I had been watching a tiktoker show around an antique shop. I wasn’t scared or anything, just casually watching. I was in a pissy mood and when she mentioned her childhood trauma I rolled my eyes. Her next sentence was “now tell me what the blank blank this is” and my thumb lunged towards the screen on its own, assumigly because I agreed that that was my response to her previous sentence. However when my eyes finally focused on the screen, she was showing what seemed to be a creepy doll, dead fairy, something among that type of thing. This scared me so bad, instant karma for being a bitch but whatever. I had been so spooked thinking about this thing and couldn’t stop thinking about it, I ruminated for hours and hours. Not sure how long later but when I was thinking about it there was a VERY loud bang coming from my kitchen. It started the living heck out of me and I was terrified and convinced that it was the curse/spirit connected to this object or the ghost of whatever creature it could have been. I was terrified and it took me a while to calm down and move on from the incident. I never figured out what the sound was, it was pretty late at night. Later that morning my neighbor slammed her door pretty loud (I live in an apartment) which made me think it could’ve been that but when I had heard it the first time I swore it came from my own apartment. I’m an atheist. I don’t believe in any of these things however when these things happen to me I can’t help but feel afraid anyway. I get annoyed at my own incompetence to stand my ground about my beliefs. Simple things like this trip me up so bad and I’m so frustrated. It all seems to be confirmation bias, creepy things seem to happen when thinking about creepy things. I’m worried that as a fawn response I become Stuck being indoctrinated, compulsively being forced to pray and spiritually cleanse when I’m afraid enough because my nervous system goes wild and I can’t help it. It’s embarrassing and stressful.

hanysm@gmail...

Date posted: 50w

It seems you might be confusing the term "secular" with "atheist." Additionally, you may believe that science contradicts religion, which is not necessarily true. You also incorrectly asserted that religion is based on fear, while for many, it is founded on love and respect for the Creator, not fear. By addressing these fundamental misunderstandings, you may find a resolution that balances your upbringing with the knowledge you've gained so far.

Musicmarble

Date posted: 49w

@hanysm@gmail.com No I’m sure I’m an atheist. I don’t believe in god or any other being that isn’t supported by science, and yes while I do understand that for many people it’s about the “good” relationship they have with their “god” on an individual basis, religion in general is most only kept up to put money in the churches pockets and many use scare tactics like hell and demons to keep them trapped in the rhetoric on the basis of “if you leave you are at risk”. Other than that people’s relationship with god seems to be based on confirmation bias and their own attachment to the characters but mostly they’re talking to themselves in their own heads and waiting for happenstance to occur. What stresses me out is when something I can’t explain happens and my fight or flight reacts regardless of my understanding in it being irrational

hanysm@gmail...

Date posted: 49w

@Musicmarble - Your recent post requires a correction. Science focuses on phenomena that can be observed and verified through experiments and sensory experiences. In contrast, God is not a physical or observable entity, making it inappropriate to apply scientific methods to theological questions. This suggests a mismatch in using science to address non-empirical topics. Interestingly, you mention an illness that is not directly observable or fully understood in terms of its cause or cure, such as Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). This raises the question: does OCD exist scientifically? While OCD may not be observable in the same way as physical objects, it is recognized in the scientific community through behavioral patterns and symptoms that can be studied and treated.

Musicmarble

Date posted: 49w

@hanysm@gmail.com OCD is a scientifically measurable thing, it shows up on the brain in MRIs

hanysm@gmail...

Date posted: 49w

@Musicmarble - With all due respect, your statement is not accurate. OCD itself cannot be measured; rather, we measure its effects on the brain and infer its existence from those findings. OCD is not a tangible entity, similar to concepts like love or the anxiety a patient might feel, which cannot be directly measured. This is akin to the concept of God: while we cannot measure God directly, we can observe and measure some of His creations in this magnificent universe. From these observations, we can infer His existence, power, and might, as indicated by the size, vastness, and precision of His creations. Additionally, don't conflate religious practices and rituals, which I agree can be flawed, with the belief in God. Consider God as the destination, and the faith you follow as the path to that destination. If you agree on the destination, the task becomes finding the right or straight path. However, don't dismiss the destination simply because the only path you are familiar with may not be the best one.

Musicmarble

Date posted: 49w

@hanysm@gmail.com No. OCD can be measured in brain scans and MRI’s. Anxiety can be seen in brain scans and MRI’s. You’re sadly mistaken and honestly if that’s your uneducated approach to mental health you shouldn’t be giving advice on a forum about psychology.

hanysm@gmail...

Date posted: 49w

@Musicmarble - Many ego-centric individuals resort to personal attacks as a defense mechanism when faced with undeniable truths. To clarify, my responses are aimed at addressing the inaccuracies in your statements, not your mental state. That being said, I truly wish you recovery and peace.

Whit.D25

Date posted: 22w

1st post-What my OCD experience feels like. Pt1 Ig

I’ve come to a point in my life where I can be very happy. I have a safe environment, a loving community. Yknow I’ve really healed through or moved on from a traumatic past and as I say to my boyfriend from time to time like a broken record: I feel like nowadays the only thing bringing me stress or at times misery is myself. I am a fairly joyful person, when I’m comfortable I’m very goofy and like to sing dance and have fun. I find that I relate to so many amazing people I meet that are the nicest, most fun, elevating individuals, who also struggle with the hardest sometime debilitating things. It truly sucks because when I find those moments of peace I see the power of what an ocd mind could be as a person. We are people who may over analyze, but I myself also always find the good in people. And aye if in a moment I don’t think anything is doomly wrong and if I don’t try to understand it I may parish 😅 then that moment feels like the best one in the world. But on the other side of that when I’m not in a quiet mind moment and I’m left with myself to take control of what life in front of me looks like in or around me. I almost have been crumbling. Like I said at the beginning of this story here, the life around me is not so situationally stressful. And it’s also fairly simple. My boyfriend and I live together in a small cozy trailer with our two cats, he works full time very hard and I work part time where I spend as much time as I can working and then have a few days around the house. We’re saving for a home and are quite content with our lifestyle at the moment with work and being “lazy”, or resting and going out for fun now an then on our time off together. Most times though I do have day or two off during the week by myself, which usually goes one of only two ways. Like I said before I do like to work hard, especially now that I have a part time job that’s fairly easier than others I’ve had in the past. So I work 6-7 hours then drive home, air up my tires and wash my car sometimes because I like doing something after work while I still have energy.Or I go to the store. Come home make food, prolly nap and not really worry about too much because I’ve worked all day. But on my days off. I find myself waking up with a lot of anxiety. I usually fight it off by going back to sleep. But my OCD is heavily circled around shame. Even though I only sleep in till 10-11, 12-1 at the latest. I find myself thinking about how wrong (in nice terms) it is to do that. And the funny thing is the older I get (I’m a 21F). I’m not as pressured by this thought, even though it’s still stressful it literally just feels like a thought I can’t escape from. To put things in simple terms. I truly psycho analyze my actions breath by breath and my intrusive thoughts are critiquing those actions bit by bit. I’ve recently have started medication and it was a tremendous difference in the beginning and it helped me cope with the acceptance and letting go (f it or just care less) of those thoughts. But let’s say I forget to take it, or I wake up one morning by myself all day and I’m super tired or unmotivated. That day will feel truly debilitated. And now I’m definitely to the point where I’m battling that, but also have a thin vale behind that where I now know what is going on. And the thoughts are shameful for “not trying to get better or be better” Because I do Like I write a lot, and it truly is one of the best coping mechanisms for working through intrusive or obsessive compulsions. I could also write all day, and if I don’t listen to that ease of the anxiety from writing. And try to keep going the writing will turn into a compulsion itself I feel like I should not stop or critique it as well. But luckily I’ll hopefully find my place in explaining the cycle of what I do when my brain is very loud about things. The next time it’s too loud:)

anonymous00001

Date posted: 19w

Looking for “proof” that it’s not OCD

Hey all, I’ve been having some ebbs and flows in recovery, but for the most part I’ve really had a lot of improvements in quality of life since starting treatment in 2023. Something that really trips me up is ruminating on my past and looking for “evidence” or “proof” that the things that I’m obsessed with are real and not OCD. I spend quite a lot of time doing this. I wasn’t fully aware I was doing it until recently. Example: that I’m secretly gay and lying to everyone (I’m bi), that I’m a horrible person deep down, that I’ve never actually loved any person including my family, that I have the “wrong” political or religious beliefs. I look for proof in every corner of my past. It makes some sense that I think this way because with my previous therapist, who I saw for 8 years and did not diagnose me with OCD, we would look for evidence and proof that my obsessions are irrational and I learned to deal with them that way. At the time it was a lot of health concern and contamination themes, but I literally learned to ruminate and search for relief. But I just kept getting sicker and sicker until I got diagnosed with OCD. It’s a frustrating compulsion that keeps showing up for me. What if these scary things are true? What if it’s not OCD at all and I’m in denial? Have I lied my way into thinking I have OCD? It’s so hard. Anyway, I’m curious if anyone else has come across this in recovery? Let me know your thoughts and I hope you’re well. ❤️

Opossums.NA....

Date posted: 17w

What OCD feels like to me.

These are some of my experiences with some theatrical flare to better depict how it feels. I decided to share this because when I saw this community I suddenly felt less alone in more human. Lovecraftian door Lurker: I don’t know the subtypes so I’ll just be talking about my relationship with OCD. OCD! that lonely woman in the ocean singing your praise's, sure she’ll love you forever! Of course she isn’t a siren planning on dragging you to the depths and tearing you to shreds. OCD! that haunting whisper in the wind calling you to fly! fly! OCD! that Lovecraftian abomination chanting at you from behind a locked door. Banging demanding you bow to it’s will. For me it latches on to my trauma and PTSD circling them like some demented teacup ride. A daily occurance for me is recalling the day I died when I was like 6 i remeber each detail of the day the kids i met the activtes we particapated in, the heat. The height of the slide before i plummeted to my death. This day consumes my life. “Thud thud!” I ask my parents about it often they tell me it never happened i tell them they weren’t there. Each time they lie and say I’ve never told them. My boyfriend whom I’ve been with for three years hears the story offten and often deals with me asking him if he’s seen me ask my parents. “Thud Thud” Each time he says yes and I asked how they responded “like you’ve never told them.” I constantly become afraid that my boyfreind will drown because he can’t swim. “Thud! Thud!” and because he can’t swim that the car will go off the road into some body of water and he will die. ”Thud! Thud!” I feel the water filling my lungs turning them into fire, the fear of reaching out my hands with no aid. “THUD! THUD! And he will die alone too and there’s nothing you can do to stop it! THUD THUD!” I scream that same fire fueling my rage my tears running down my face like gasoline igniting the thought spiral further burning deeper into my self hatred. I scream again banging my hands on my head. Wish and hoping it will shut up the thoughts.“why? Why?! WHY!” Sobbing until I’m nothing but a puddle. . . Ya know a few months ago I was depressed the thoughts became too much, so I wanted to get high. I thought it would make them stop “Thud! Thud!” So I took a gummy it was unpackage, from a friend of a friend so now the word dog, in reference to a person is a permit part of my vocabulary. And I have memories from being in a comma because it turned out to be DMT and my 6 hour trip end up feeling like 6 months of HELL. The ocd thoughts that i usually see, in a flash became so real that i just cried for hour terrified i was stabbing my eyes out dead and this was my purgatory for leaving the church. ”Thud! THUD!” I stopped using my favorite water bottle after that. Before the incident The bottle up against the wall with the straw to the side of the wall because the thought that would repeat in my head would be that because of my clumsiness I would trip and fall onto the straw and it would stab my eye out and kill me. I had this thought often I kept look up what to do if you accidently get something stab/stuck in your eye. “Thud! Thud!”

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