- Date posted
- 6y ago
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I’ve been living with terrible for many years now and am only now starting to understand all of it and I haven’t even started actual therapy yet, but I’ve been fighting my worst compulsion of skin picking since I was a preteen. One thing I’m finding that actually helps is meditation, try downloading the “headspace” app, it will start you out with sessions as short as three minutes just focusing on your body and your breath. I know it almost sounds too simple to do anything, but it really helps.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Thanks. I’ve meditated before and it helped, I need to get back in the habit.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I had never really meditated before, that app has been great for me to get started and they have all kinds of guided meditations, I’ve been having a lot of fun with it. That and my yoga practice, which has helped with my staying with it even when things get really hard, both in my practice and in life. I never realized how much something so physical could help with my mental and emotional issues, but I’ve been feeling much better in the weeks since I started.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Hi, I don’t want to offer reassurance and just feel sharing my experience may help you reground because it sounds like you are feeling overwhelmed by this. For me the first major spike I had was post partum and it took weeks of therapy before we could even properly begin ERP because I was so distraught, after that it took again weeks/months for it to feel like it was working. It took every ounce of strength I had to apply what I was learning and to start with it was literally a moment here and there that I’d feel like the OCD was loosening it’s grip and those moments gradually got longer and more frequent. Even when I reached a place I recognised as recovery from that spike where I was functioning again I still had this lingering weighted feeling like I was tainted somehow, I still had to keep working at it but I got my life back and felt like I was managing again. This was over a year ago, fast forward to a few weeks ago a new theme starts and brings me to my knees again, I start therapy again and like last time there is no relief to start with, yes I hear what the professional says but I just cannot take the leap of faith and fully trust that my brain is ill at the moment and not working as it should. So again it took time, weeks for therapy to sink into my brain and for me to truly trust my therapist and husband and to believe that this is not me but OCD misfiring messages in my brain. I began feeling much better but now I feel it trying to pull me down with another theme. I am reminding myself this is OCD, I am ignoring it as best I can, I am accepting I have OCD and experiencing these thoughts and feelings are part of that and I am refocusing my attention on constructive things in my life. It is not easy and by no means am out of this spike yet, but sitting with that doubt, the uncertainty, the fear, the anxiety and carrying on with your day anyway is where the recovery happens. You are doing amazing! I know the battle and I know you are incredibly resilient. You’ve got this x
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w ago
Hi everyone. I'm feeling kinda scared because I have to wait a whole month to start ERP therapy, but I feel like I need to start doing exposures now because the longer I wait, the more anxiety I get. It just feels like the OCD monster is getting worse. One thing that helps me is asking one person about an obsession I have...asking a person that I trust, and then doing an exposure after I get the "ok" to do it. I feel like I do need 1 reassurance and then I can go ahead and do it. I know i'm not supposed to ask for reassurance at all, but i dont think you're supposed to do ERP on your own right? Does anyone have any suggestions for what to do while waiting for therapy? PS-the reason there is a wait is bc she's on vacation. After she's back we will meet regularly.
- Date posted
- 16w ago
**TW for POCD** I’ve spoken about this a few times before. That urge I had to type in “child porn” into google. I talked to my NOCD therapist today about it. She told me the ERP for it was to type it in. She even did it with me. Obviously nothing but news stories, crime statistics, and photos someone would use for a project showed up. I’ve been so petrified of typing that in there. She wants me to do it every two hours and listen to what OCD will say. I typed it in that way, I typed it out full, and I typed it out with an additional word. I clicked and browsed through all the google tabs. I’m okay, but I can’t stop crying. I’m scared to do it again. She said it’s not likely going to get flagged due to people looking that up for research projects and stuff. I’m just afraid repeatedly searching it up will cause some sort of alert. I feel so scared and full of nerves. I guess that’s what the ERP is supposed to do, but it was so scary. So scary :(
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- POCD
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- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 14w ago
Looking back, I realize I’ve had OCD since I was 7. though I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 30. As a kid, I was consumed by fears I couldn’t explain: "What if God isn’t real? What happens when we die? How do I know I’m real?" These existential thoughts terrified me, and while everyone has them from time to time, I felt like they were consuming my life. By 12, I was having daily panic attacks about death and war, feeling untethered from reality as depersonalization and derealization set in. At 15, I turned to drinking, spending the next 15 years drunk, trying to escape my mind. I hated myself, struggled with my body, and my intrusive thoughts. Sobriety forced me to face it all head-on. In May 2022, I finally learned I had OCD. I remember the exact date: May 10th. Reading about it, I thought, "Oh my God, this is it. This explains everything." My main themes were existential OCD and self-harm intrusive thoughts. The self-harm fears were the hardest: "What if I kill myself? What if I lose control?" These thoughts terrified me because I didn’t want to die. ERP changed everything. At first, I thought, "You want me to confront my worst fears? Are you kidding me?" But ERP is gradual and done at your pace. My therapist taught me to lean into uncertainty instead of fighting it. She’d say, "Maybe you’ll kill yourself—who knows?" At first, it felt scary, but for OCD, it was freeing. Slowly, I realized my thoughts were just thoughts. ERP gave me my life back. I’m working again, I’m sober, and for the first time, I can imagine a future. If you’re scared to try ERP, I get it. But if you’re already living in fear, why not try a set of tools that can give you hope?
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