NEW RELATIONSHIP OCD

I just started dating this guy not too many months ago. he is everything i ever wanted and he treats me right. but now my OCD intrusive thoughts are creeping back in. ones like “do i love him/like him” and like “i have to tell him im having these horrible OCD thoughts or we will never know how i truly feel.” but i know i love/like him. And sometimes I’ll be having a good day and then BAM, the thoughts smack me in the face and i get stuck in an anxious loop and it ruins my mood. how can i break this compulsion without feeling so anxious and do i tell him i’m having these thoughts to relieve the anxiety?

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 50w

Definitely do not confess OCD thoughts to him out of a feeling that you NEED to do so. (This is a compulsion). We have to deny every compulsion. It might relieve anxiety for a little while if you confess the thoughts, but it will just make your compulsions worse in the long-term. The best thing to do is to deny the compulsion and refuse to confess the thoughts. (Confessing is a super common OCD compulsion, by the way.) Also, don’t worry if you are having a good day, and then BOOM, the thoughts come out of nowhere . You can expect this to happen sometimes. This is what OCD does. Here’s how you handle that: You tell yourself that you DON’T CARE if you have the thoughts or not. It’s okay if you have the thoughts. It’s okay if you don’t. It’s okay if they hit you out of nowhere. You have to stop ascribing importance to the thoughts because they are not important. In fact, they mean nothing. In order to recover from OCD, the first step is to realize that the thoughts are meaningless. It doesn’t matter if they are there or not. Once you accept that, things can get better and better.

𝐩𝐮𝐦𝐩𝐤𝐢𝐧🤍🦇🎃

Date posted: 50w

@Tea and Honey this helped me IMMENSELY thank u so so much

leohubb24

Date posted: 50w

@Tea and Honey This helped me too also. Came on here for the same exact thing. I’m currently sitting in class with this eating me up.

bdads27

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 50w

okay soooo a few things. it sounds that this is something that you don’t want to loose but have a fear of loosing. there’s usually a deeper meaning of this typically from past experience which i would definitely recommend delving into to process and so shadow work with. i think one thing that held me back immensely was the fear that these thoughts would come. helping to regulate your nervous system and live presently is what i recommend. it’s not easy and will be uncomfortable at the beginning but from doing the erp, then the cbt/act to putting it in practice is what changes a person truly

𝐩𝐮𝐦𝐩𝐤𝐢𝐧🤍🦇🎃

Date posted: 50w

@bdads27 thank u🥺🥺🥺

bdads27

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 50w

@𝐩𝐮𝐦𝐩𝐤𝐢𝐧🤍🦇🎃 of course and for what it’s worth, i’m by no means healed nor perfect. my body still sends me somatic signals that something could be wrong, but for me i realized once i got over the intial fears and healed, i noticed that i wanted this really bad, a future and this to work out really bad; i was just a. scared to admit it out of fear and fear of judgement from others and 2. i was and still am sometimes anxious of getting there. but focusing on the future will cause new obsessions. knowing this is what i want and choose actively is ENOUGH and enough to live presently. sure those dreams can make you happy, feel afirming, but living presently is ultimately how you help yourself the most and set yourself up for healthy relationships and life growth

e2222

Date posted: 23w

Relationship OCD?/am I just evil

I am in a relatively new relationship (around 2 months) and it has been completely virtual due to varying circumstances. I have never been in a serious relationship before and my past “exes” have never been this serious or brought up any of these feelings. About a month in I started having tons of symptoms and thoughts I figured were due to an SSRI change (i eventually went back to my original med/dose) however, it has remained quite bad since. Thoughts include: -I don’t actually like my partner, I just like the feeling of being wanted -I have crushes on other people, including my partners friends who I barely know -I don’t feel butterflies so I must be losing feelings for him -I think he’s ugly/im just not attracted to him -I’m secretly a lesbian and I’m wasting his time by being with him -a general feeling of dread, wrongness, or needing out of the relationship -not being able to believe him when he reassures me about everything -all of the above is just my genuine feelings and I’m using ocd as an excuse These are obviously crazy things to think, however one of my biggest compulsions is confession and self sabotage so I have told my partner all of these things in detail. He’s really great and patient about all of it but I can tell it weighs on him. Hes even recently expressed feeling like it’s his fault and that he wonders if it wouldn’t be this bad if I was with someone else. I feel so miserable but i feel like I’d be miserable in any relationship but im scared that’s not the truth and my ocd isn’t real. When it’s good i feel the most romantic love for him I’ve ever felt toward anyone ever. He’s an incredible person but I just feel so alone and lost on what to do. I’ve literally tried to break up with him like five times and each time we’ve ended up wanting to stay together. I’m really really scared I’ll never get better or this is simply the wrong relationship for me.

MM311

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 20w

relationship ocd?

for me it’s getting to the point where i don’t feel in love with my boyfriend anymore. i’m trying to keep myself from compulsing since my compulsions are all mental. it’s like the thoughts consume my mind every second of every day and i can’t catch a break. it’s like i want to be with him so bad but my brain won’t allow me. any advice?

cmax20

Date posted: 11w

ROCD

for a few days now I’ve been super anxious about my relationship. I’ve been anxious about it before but lately it’s been worse than normal. I’m in a very healthy and loving relationship, I love my boyfriend so much and he treats me so so well. The only thing is that I’ve been having scary thoughts that what if I’m lying to him and don’t actually love him? What if I don’t find him attractive? And like what if the only way to stop being anxious is to break up with him? I don’t want to leave him and I am so scared. I feel like I’m lying to him by not telling him what’s going on because he might think I’m actually going to leave him, which I’m really not going to. I have had anxiety since before we started dating and incestual and sexual ocd, then I got into a point where I started having religious ocd, and now I have ROCD on top of that I think. I’ve never been diagnosed but I’m going to therapy and figuring things out but I’m so scared. Idk what to do and I feel like if I talk to anyone they’re going to say I have to leave him.

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