NEW RELATIONSHIP OCD

I just started dating this guy not too many months ago. he is everything i ever wanted and he treats me right. but now my OCD intrusive thoughts are creeping back in. ones like “do i love him/like him” and like “i have to tell him im having these horrible OCD thoughts or we will never know how i truly feel.” but i know i love/like him. And sometimes I’ll be having a good day and then BAM, the thoughts smack me in the face and i get stuck in an anxious loop and it ruins my mood. how can i break this compulsion without feeling so anxious and do i tell him i’m having these thoughts to relieve the anxiety?

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 47w

Definitely do not confess OCD thoughts to him out of a feeling that you NEED to do so. (This is a compulsion). We have to deny every compulsion. It might relieve anxiety for a little while if you confess the thoughts, but it will just make your compulsions worse in the long-term. The best thing to do is to deny the compulsion and refuse to confess the thoughts. (Confessing is a super common OCD compulsion, by the way.) Also, don’t worry if you are having a good day, and then BOOM, the thoughts come out of nowhere . You can expect this to happen sometimes. This is what OCD does. Here’s how you handle that: You tell yourself that you DON’T CARE if you have the thoughts or not. It’s okay if you have the thoughts. It’s okay if you don’t. It’s okay if they hit you out of nowhere. You have to stop ascribing importance to the thoughts because they are not important. In fact, they mean nothing. In order to recover from OCD, the first step is to realize that the thoughts are meaningless. It doesn’t matter if they are there or not. Once you accept that, things can get better and better.

𝐩𝐮𝐦𝐩𝐤𝐢𝐧🤍🦇🎃

Date posted: 47w

@Tea and Honey this helped me IMMENSELY thank u so so much

leohubb24

Date posted: 47w

@Tea and Honey This helped me too also. Came on here for the same exact thing. I’m currently sitting in class with this eating me up.

bdads27

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 47w

okay soooo a few things. it sounds that this is something that you don’t want to loose but have a fear of loosing. there’s usually a deeper meaning of this typically from past experience which i would definitely recommend delving into to process and so shadow work with. i think one thing that held me back immensely was the fear that these thoughts would come. helping to regulate your nervous system and live presently is what i recommend. it’s not easy and will be uncomfortable at the beginning but from doing the erp, then the cbt/act to putting it in practice is what changes a person truly

𝐩𝐮𝐦𝐩𝐤𝐢𝐧🤍🦇🎃

Date posted: 47w

@bdads27 thank u🥺🥺🥺

bdads27

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 47w

@𝐩𝐮𝐦𝐩𝐤𝐢𝐧🤍🦇🎃 of course and for what it’s worth, i’m by no means healed nor perfect. my body still sends me somatic signals that something could be wrong, but for me i realized once i got over the intial fears and healed, i noticed that i wanted this really bad, a future and this to work out really bad; i was just a. scared to admit it out of fear and fear of judgement from others and 2. i was and still am sometimes anxious of getting there. but focusing on the future will cause new obsessions. knowing this is what i want and choose actively is ENOUGH and enough to live presently. sure those dreams can make you happy, feel afirming, but living presently is ultimately how you help yourself the most and set yourself up for healthy relationships and life growth

MM311

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 17w

relationship ocd?

for me it’s getting to the point where i don’t feel in love with my boyfriend anymore. i’m trying to keep myself from compulsing since my compulsions are all mental. it’s like the thoughts consume my mind every second of every day and i can’t catch a break. it’s like i want to be with him so bad but my brain won’t allow me. any advice?

shopgirl

Date posted: 17w

New relationship and OCD spike

I’ve been really struggling the last week and I need some help. I’ve been seeing a guy for about 2 months who checks a lot of my relationship boxes. He’s so kind and we have a lot of fun together. The first few weeks I was totally smitten but had moments of fear about being committed. We talked about it and decided to take things slowly, and then I would have days of feeling like every thing was perfect with some fearful feelings in between. Two weeks ago now my SO-OCD and ROCD started to come back a little as well as my more anxious-avoidant behaviors. I started to get more scared of the future and it was more intense. At the end of last week, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. He is exactly the type of person I see myself marrying and has great values and is so secure about me. Until last week, he generally made me feel so safe and secure. Ever since saying yes, I feel so scared and anxious and my SO-OCD and ROCD is on max. I also find myself getting more annoyed and irritated about things that were minor annoyances or non-issues before. I’m having intense physical responses to both OCD themes, and the nagging thought and feeling that I need to end things with him because we aren’t right for each other. It makes me feel so sad and guilty. Sex is becoming harder because of the thoughts too, whereas at first it was perfect. I don’t know who I can talk to about this without them telling me to just break up with him. Everything is so new so I think they’d chalk it up to my intuition. But I do want to be in love and have less fear around relationships, so I don’t want to give into the fear. I think it could help me to set boundaries and have space for myself more often. I think I need some advice or insight. I know I shouldn’t ask for reassurance, but having some around how other people have felt at the beginning of a relationship would help. Why is it that the label is freaking me out so much? How do you guys set boundaries to prioritize yourself when you feel this way?

helpme1234

Date posted: 12w

relationship ocd

my relationship ocd theme is back and it hasn’t for a while. i keep having intrusive thoughts about a friend even tho i have a boyfriend of 6 years. i like do not like this person they are good looking but im not like into them. i like feel guilty for no reason and i feel like i need to tell my boyfriend even tho like we’ve been through this before and it only gets better if i tell him but if i don’t i feel like im hiding something. AHH like i don’t even wanna see that person anymore

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NEW RELATIONSHIP OCD

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