It’s so hard

I’m finally moving on and realising what’s meant for me will stay, but unfortunately this has come along with doubts, overthinking and realising some things that I didn’t before. My ex moved on straight after we ended, got into a relationship with her faster than I ever thought he would (we were only ever exclusive but fir a year he kept me going saying he will, I know I should’ve read the red flags) and now they are happily together doing things I always dreamed he’d do with me. The thing is I look at him and I feel nothing, I once loved him but knowing he never even cared for me has helped me loose that. However, I look back and realise there were so many signs that I didn’t acknowledge and now I’m feeling stupid. More embarrassed. I will never regret giving the love out, but seeing him treat her the way he does, going out all the time, spending time together when I got months and months of just excuse after excuse, how we did spend time physically not emotionally together and I didn’t even see the signs. It makes me so angry that I had love for this person. But now it’s got me comparing ever aspect of myself to this girl, I’m wondering why she’s better than me, what I did wrong, why I’m not good enough. She is known to be a cereal cheater, known to not treat her boyfriends with respect after a few months, she’s already cheated on him and he’s forgiven her, I don’t get it. I feel so ugly in myself, I feel so insecure about everything. I’ve stopped watching her stories but had the Urge to do it again and I did, he was everywhere. Plastered all over her stories, and I’ve sat here not jealous, not wanting him back, but feeling sad in myself that I’m still wondering why I wasn’t good enough. I’m too scared to go into town incase I see them. This mind is killing me im sick of it

Anxious Chao

Date posted: 1y

Hey, I know this post is old, but I just want to let you know that I am going through the same thing and I’m here if you need to talk, my boyfriend became distant after school began and started calling/texting me less, then it came to a point where he was thinking about breaking up because he needed alone time. I just feel used and heartbroken, as if my life will never be the same again and the things he promised me were just fantasies he made up to make me feel better.

stuckonathought

Date posted: 1y

@anxious artist Hi, I’m glad you reached out it never matters how old the post is if it’s relatable to people I’m glad I can help. Thank you for saying you’d be there for me, it’s been a really really rough year. I’ve had to see him everywhere with her and even have him say some pretty mean stuff to me blaming me for things I haven’t done. It’s annoying when people don’t understand our feelings are hurt in the process of them deciding to end things, I’m really sorry you went through this. Never make yourself feel like it wasn’t real, it was real, it’s just even though it’s sad your life doesn’t need him anymore. You’re meant for more than what he was offering and that’s a good thing! It’ll be okay, it takes time (I’ve been feeling this way for 7 months) but it’ll get easier. Heartbreak is a tough road, but stay strong. Bad days come but good days do as well, I’ll be here if you ever need to talk as well because I relate very much to what you said

Anxious Chao

Date posted: 1y

@stuckonathought Thank you, I’m in such a dark place and the breakup was so recent that I had to reevaluate my entire life and purpose. I don’t know what to do really but I just feel completely hopeless and overwhelmed by all of these negative emotions. He used me and discarded me when I was no longer convenient in his life.

stuckonathought

Date posted: 1y

@anxious artist I was also in the dark place, and trust me it feels like the world is ending but keep pushing through. It’s because you built your mind around this one person for a long time, creating this world and now you’ve gotta change that which feels so hard. The negative emotions won’t last forever, don’t get me wrong they’ll sneak back up on you sometimes but once you’ve sat with the feeling for a while, which you’re allowed to do btw feel them feel everything don’t feel bad for being upset or crying, but once you have start doing stuff for yourself and doing things you enjoy. One day you’ll realise it’s your life and this man doesn’t hold any impact on your anymore, he doesn’t deserve that place in your head or heart. I’m still figuring it all out don’t get me wrong, it’s been 7 months and he’ll still sneak his way into my mind but we’ve gotta realise we’re worth more than that silly little boy. I’m so sorry you’ve been through this, honestly what you’re writing I feel on another level, it’s unfair treatment and you deserve better. You’ve got this, your an amazing person who deserves so much more

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