Suicidal ocd

@djflorio Any advice on how to make them not feel as important? Really struggling with that

@Macyy3937493939494 - Of course. That's the hardest part! When thoughts comes up that we don't like, our natural instinct seems to be to try to use logic to dispute them. The problem is, the processes involved in producing these thoughts are NOT logical. These processes are developed in early childhood, and are largely based in emotion and feelings. In a way, when the mind is producing intrusive thoughts, it's like a toddler throwing a tantrum. Trying to logically argue with these thoughts is like trying to get through to that toddler. It just doesn't work. The same goes with general resistance. Getting frustrated and angry with these thoughts is like yelling at the crying toddler to shut up; another thing that will make things worse. When you try to logically argue or actively push these thoughts away, you signal to the brain that they are important. That's what keeps them coming back. It's a vicious cycle that feeds itself: a thought bothers you, you naturally try to get rid of it, that increases its perceived "importance," the mind produces it more often, and so on. The way to escape this cycle is to do something that seems incredibly illogical: don't resist the thoughts. Don't argue with them. Allow your body to feel the anxiety that results from them, over and over again. In OCD treatment, the gold-standard method is ERP (exposure response prevention), in which you do just that. You very slowly and methodically expose yourself to a trigger (in your case it would be something that triggers thoughts about suicide), and you prevent yourself from doing ANY compulsions (such as rumination, reassurance seeking, etc). You then feel the anxiety that arises, and allow it to run its course as much as possible. The purpose of this exercise is to SHOW yourself that these thoughts are not dangerous or important. That's the important difference: you aren't TELLING yourself that they aren't important, you're SHOWING yourself. It all really comes down to how much we try to avoid feeling anxiety. It's an uncomfortable emotion, but that's all it is: an emotion. It's ok for a thought to make you feel anxious. That anxiety will come and go on its own. Over time, due to your non-reaction to these thoughts, they will naturally occur less often. You will have effectively removed their importance. Going back to the toddler analogy, practicing this is like being the parent that remains calm, validates the child's emotions, and soothes them. Crying children generally just want to be seen by their parents, regardless of what they're crying about. If the parents are calm and validating, they know that everything is okay. So my advice (aside from speaking to an OCD specialist who practices ERP) is to experiment with accepting the uncertainty of these thoughts, and FEELING what happens in your body. When a thought like "maybe I want to kill myself" arises, instead of engaging in it, try responding with, "maybe I will, maybe I won't." Then just notice how you feel. What happens in your chest? Your stomach? Do you clench your jaw? Do you breathe faster? You don't have to do anything but observe without judgement. Once you notice the markers of anxiety, you can start to adjust yourself to ease those markers. Maybe you unclench your jaw, soften the belly, and put a hand over your heart to feel the warmth. Your mind will be shouting all kinds of thoughts and stories at you as you do this, and that's okay. Just acknowledge the thoughts, and focus on the feelings, which is how you can truly communicate with your "inner child." Sorry I know a lot of this sounds pretty fluffy, but it's a viewpoint that has helped me tremendously over the years. Hope this helps and I'm happy to answer more questions.

@djflorio I really appreciate you taking the time to type this out. Just copied and pasted into my notes! It is very helpful. It’s a much slower process than I think all of us would like it to be. You do such a good job at explaining this. You’re awesome!

@camkkkkkk Glad to hear it and glad I can help 😊

@andyman738 Did you recover from suicidal ocd?

@Macyy3937493939494 It isn’t flaring up for me right now! I had a horrible depressive episode start last month and then I was having terrible suicidal intrusive thoughts at night. Thankfully those have subsided quite a bit

@andyman738 I’m sorry. I haven’t dealt with real suicidal thoughts before, that I can recall, but I’m sure that is scary.

@Macyy3937493939494 Yes I apologize I may have gotten suicidal ideation mixed up with suicidal ocd… this whole OCD thing just sucks in general. :/ I hope yours improves and I do not think your core beliefs will be affected

@andyman738 Hoping for the best for you as well