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I'm going to try and be coherent because I know that sometimes during these moments I tend to babble in fear. I have a mole on the left side of my chest that I've had since I was a kid. Been there for as long as I remember. And I never paid attention to it; it was just a part of my body. I even felt a little sad considering that I might not have it anymore whenever I get top surgery. Yesterday I went down a rabbit hole and landed on Melanoma. Which, of course, prompted me to look at my mole again. And again. And again. It's large, bigger than my other moles. Always has been, at least to my knowledge. I always thought it was cute whenever it crossed my mind. Now...now I'm just scared... I'm not asking for reassurance. None of us on here are medical experts (unless youre an actual doctor) (also insert OCD joke here). I sent a picture to my doctor, and she said that if it hasnt changed size that's a good sign. But she also suggested a follow-up with a dermatologist. And that's what scares me the most. All of this started yesterday, but I sent the message to my doctor this morning. And ever since then...I havent been okay. I can barely eat, and every time I try to I can barely swallow. I've isolated myself in the guest bedroom of my parents house. I cant move. I cant think straight. And...let's just say my thoughts havent been good. Like I said, I'm not asking for reassurance or medical advice. I just...I need help to not feel like I'm dying. I didnt mention that yesterday, in the midst of going down the rabbit hole, I realized how badly I didnt want to be afraid, and yet I also felt like I needed to be afraid. And I realized that that's what ERP is (at least for me in case it's different for everyone). I really did naivietely think that it was just going to be about avoiding compulsions. I didnt realize that accepting uncertainty would feel like a death sentence. And now this has happened. I just...I'm scared. And I dont want to be. I dont want to live in this reality where I'm sick and dying. I dont want to have to tell my family. I dont want to live in that world, but it feels like I'm already in it. My body is just preparing me for it. I dont know. I dont know why I'm even making this post. No one can help me, can they?

Hi, I have been under extreme stress since about March this year, and from that started suffering from very bad health anxiety which has caused panic attacks etc. I’m in the middle of a spiral right now though because I am certain I have stomach cancer. I am 31 and female. Last week I had a very good few days anxiety wise and almost felt like myself. But on Sunday morning I woke up having to rush to the bathroom (TMI sorry) and felt very nauseous. I am emetophobic so this scared me too. Since then I have been having bad stomach cramps, had to rush to the toilet once a day, and some nausea. I have no appetite at all (last week I had a very good appetite but this week I am having to force myself to eat). I am thinking about my symptoms constantly which I think might be making them worse. I have had a bowel screening done which was clear so no blood, and a calprotectin which was very slightly raised at 53, but my GP said she wasn’t concerned about it but would refer me for further testing if I wanted. So I do have more tests booked but not for some months yet. I’m just really scared because of the stomach cramps, nausea, and having to rush to the bathroom once a day for five days now. I have also had bad acid reflux but that only tends to happen when I have taken propranolol. I also have IBS so maybe my anxiety has flared it up but I’m not convinced. I’m just so scared to the point I can’t leave the house and I have been lay in bed for five days thinking about my symptoms and that I could have stomach cancer. I have also been referred for CBT in the near future to help deal with this, but I’m scared that I’m brushing something off as anxiety and giving time for the illness to spread. I just feel constantly scared. I thought I’d had a breakthrough last week but this has just hit me like a tonne of bricks. Has anyone else dealt with anything like this? I just want to feel okay again I am freaking out so bad

i’m struggling very badly with health ocd. i am constantly convinced every little thing wrong with me is immediately cancer. i noticed i have been getting random bruises on my knees/shins and i think it is because i have cancer. does anyone else think like this? it’s so annoying because any weird symptom i think it’s because i must be dying. but is there a reasonable explanation to why i have bruises on my legs? it’s seriously freaking me out!!!