Or “I don’t want to be here anymore?” Had been struggling w suicidal ocd and now wondering if this is it nothing a bit or if it’s my own thoughts. I guess it’s ocd vibes or I wouldn’t be typing this here that I’m concerned lol. It’s just freaky
I’ve been experiencing the same thing! I do a mental exercise where thoughts can come in go in my house, but they cannot stay unless I invite them in. So I just bring it back to the present moment and go “that’s not true and I’m not inviting that into my home.” Take a deep breath and focus on something I love like snuggling with my cat, painting etc.
@Shei Yeah I guess I’m just concerned it’s my own thoughts lol
@wmorris93 That’s just the OCD talking! You can choose for it to be or not to be. Usually thoughts that make me stop and go “what if I actually feel this way” is a big red flag for OCD personally.
@Shei Totally. Like logically it makes no sense for me to feel this way lol. And I definitely didn’t feel this way before the thought popped into my head and got stuck
Get this all the time, used to scare the crap out of me. Intrusive thoughts can come in any shape or form
@Anonymous Assuming you’ve dealt with this theme before hey? It’s no fun
@wmorris93 Literally the worst 🤦🏻♂️ what has helped you? Could use some pointers
@Anonymous It’s sadly just kind of morphing right now. Wondering if the super negative thoughts are mine but truly don’t have any reason I’d want to end my life. Great friends, family, job etc. this thought got stuck in my head and now it almost seems like it’s all I can think about and that it seems inevitable ? Although truly nonsense
@wmorris93 Literally going through the same. We don’t want to die, the thoughts are simply thoughts. Have you done any erp?
@Anonymous I’ve started it yeah. It kind of feels like ocd is finding new ways to trick me. I feel like I wouldn’t be posting about it if it wasn’t bothering me 😂
@Anonymous How long have you been feeling this way?
@wmorris93 About a year. At first it rocked me, I could barely function. After lots of therapy I can do anything I want but the thoughts are kind always there. It’s so odd because there is zero reason I would want to. I have a very cushy life.
@Anonymous I feel the same. It’s like it got stuck in my head one day and because it feels super real it’s like high stakes you know? Because obviously we’re talking about death here lol. It’s spooky. Also very confusing. I’ve never even thought as far as a plan bc normally I’m afraid of death so it’s wild that my brain keeps telling me this is something I want to do
@wmorris93 We could be the same person lol, so similar. I will say erp is helping a little bit, guess it just takes time lol.
@Anonymous How are you feeling now? Same?
@wmorris93 Much better, but have a long way to go. The meds and therapy help but not where I want to be!
@Anonymous You down to chat for a bit? Insta or snap?
@Anonymous Apologies if that’s too forward
@wmorris93 All good! I would but I have no socials 🤦🏻♂️
Yes, anything can be an intrusive thought.
@Nica Yeah I guess I’m just concerned it’s my own thoughts because it feels real. Although no logical reason why I’d feel like that. Seems like ocd finding a new way to bother me
@wmorris93 It’s very imaginative
How are you doing? Dealing with this now
so I need to get back into ERP, but it’s so hard to manage these thoughts and learn to deal with them. like I swear my mind has to make everything about it. Like every time I clean my room, my mind’s like yup make sure it’s clean so when your parents find you, or something so stupid like if I get a headache, my mind convinces me that I like the pain and that that’s why I get my thoughts because I actually want to do it. It’s so exhausting. Because I know I would never want to take my life and I treasure my life so why does it do it to me? It’s hard to comprehend the fact of these thoughts too because I don’t know many people with this exact theme. It’s such a scary feeling. And I’m constantly questioning whether I have actual depression or if it’s just my OCD. Yes I have been diagnosed with suicidal OCD, but my mind still tries to convince me otherwise. I just don’t know how to let these just sit and pass without panicking.
so I need to get back into ERP, but it’s so hard to manage these thoughts and learn to deal with them. like I swear my mind has to make everything about it. Like every time I clean my room, my mind’s like yup make sure it’s clean so when your parents find you, or something so stupid like if I get a headache, my mind convinces me that I like the pain and that that’s why I get my thoughts because I actually want to do it. It’s so exhausting. Because I know I would never want to take my life and I treasure my life so why does it do it to me? It’s hard to comprehend the fact of these thoughts too because I don’t know many people with this exact theme. It’s such a scary feeling. And I’m constantly questioning whether I have actual depression or if it’s just my OCD. Yes I have been diagnosed with suicidal OCD, but my mind still tries to convince me otherwise. I just don’t know how to let these just sit and pass without panicking.
Starting in high school, I became very suicidal, and it became my “safety net” of all went wrong. I know it’s dark, but I was in a really bad head space and I saw suicide as my escape if I couldn’t fix my life. It got to the point where I was constantly thinking about suicide (literally every day, multiple times a day). Over the last year, I’ve gotten better and I think about it less. But then my OCD grabbed hold of it…. Now, if I do something wrong or embarrassing or if I struggle in a social situation (which is often 😅), my mind says “kys”, “jump off a bridge”, and so on. It’s like an automatic response with my OCD and it makes me so uncomfortable… I’m trying to get better. I don’t want to die. Sure, I still get pretty low, but I always push the thoughts away now instead of welcoming them like I used to. But with the intrusive thoughts being nearly constant now, it’s kind of scary. I dont know what to do to make them stop since the intrusive thoughts are just so automatic at the slightest feeling of discomfort. I have a therapist, but I dont know how to bring this up with her. I’m too nervous to even admit to suicidal thoughts, not to mention the intrusive thoughts they’ve turned into. It kind of feels like it’ll never go away.
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