I just started high school and my OCD is horrible. It was bad the couple weeks leading up to it but now it’s even worse. All of the stress triggered my pure OCD and now my brain is believing that I am evil. And now whenever I try to pray I feel I can’t. Then when I try to use ERP, it just feels like I am going against God by saying maybe I’ll letting evil in.
I’m in school rn too and they won’t let me change a class that triggers me and I’m trying so hard to be ok w it and I thought my “ocd” was getting better but it keeps getting harder and I understand what ur going through u are not evil for having thoughts u are not evil for thinking there are people who have done horrible things bad people don’t feel guilty for being bad
Any chance for Erp with a therapist? It can be difficult
@OCDFamily Yes I have been for over a year
@Anonymous Keep working and trying. It is difficult. You are so worth this effort!!
I just said this to someone else with a similar post. I also have scrupulosity. I know what you’re going through. The truth of it is you’re not praising evil, it’s OCD praising itself. The thoughts come in involuntarily and they are not yours. Best to ride out the wave and acknowledge that the thought has come, but it’s not yours, and take comfort in whatever emotional reaction you have that it has no true bearing, no legitimacy, despite how you may feel. Remember, God judges the heart. He knows you, and he knows what’s not you. He knows your pain and sees what you go through, and your faith is not contingent on how you feel, no matter how strong those emotions are. He’s got you, He’s aware of all of it, and his grace is sufficient. The hardest thing with scrupe is learning to trust God knows and loves you, even when it’s hard to love yourself. Also, God knows that it’s hard for you, and that what you’re doing, you’re doing for Him. Someone who was not strong and who was truly evil would turn away, and you haven’t, because you are strong, and you have a yearning for goodness. God understands that what you have to do for ERP is for your relationship with him, even if other people can’t see that or wouldn’t understand.
Can anyone give me advice about having ocd while in school because it’s starting soon and I’m scared that I won’t do my best?
Hey guys so I’m new to this. I struggle really bad with religious ocd on top of other themes of ocd i have. But the religious ocd and POCD I have are definitely the hardest two. Today was so hard for me because I was freaking out all day about the eclipse and if it was the end of the world. I grew of in a very strict church and being gay was not acceptable so now I feel I’m morally wrong and unlovable in a sense. I don’t really know how to explain it. Wether it was from my youth pastor outing me on stage in front of all of my friends and hundreds of students, to them praying over me for years on end, before I finally left the church. Yet I still question if my salvation is safe or not. I question if God loves me etc. it gets so bad that I’m convinced everything I do is because I’m possessed by a demon. And I’ll start to vomit. Literally vomit. It sounds wild I know. Wether it’s music my ocd deems demonic or movies or spiritual things such as tarot cards that I enjoy. But my mind will convince me if I use them I will go to hell because that’s what I was taught for so long. I just wish I could get better but I don’t know how and I’m so hopeless.
PLEASE READ. Ok so I’ve had these intrusive thoughts for a while and essentially at their core they’re about worshipping the devil. I’ve always been scared of doing a prayer to the devil (specifically out loud). Recently for ERP practice my therapist has had me say the word “devil.” We’ve also watched videos about people who have made deals with the devil and videos talking about the devil himself. These are really triggering for me but I understand they’re meant to be as ERP. However, this stuff has really amped up my doubts and I’m not even really sure how to explain them. Basically I’m doubting if I even believe in what I’ve considered my core beliefs, and whether or not I would want to worship the devil. Moreover the fear of saying a bad prayer aloud has spiked especially because I’ve already said the word “devil” aloud. Then I tell myself that if I do it as a form of ERP it would be fine, but then i wonder if my doing it would actually be as ERP or because I actually want to, which stresses me out more about doing the prayer. I haven’t actually done it aloud but I’m scared of doing so.
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