My Advice On Compulsions

Hey everyone! I just wanted to share this because I thought some people may find it helpful. Compulsions are what many of us do/have done to try and banish feelings such as distress, anxiety, guilt etc… following obsessions such as unwanted intrusive thoughts. Compulsions tend to feel very urgent, am I right? You feel like you won’t be able to move on without doing it, or you might fear that something terrible will happen. So many of us fall for this trick that OCD always wants us to do. This is how it works: 1. An obsession pops up. 2. We feel anxious/scared/guilty etc etc.. 3. We feel like we need to do a compulsion to get rid of that unwanted feeling of discomfort. 4. Our anxiety and stress levels decline for a short amount of time. 5. Another obsession pops up… Then the cycle continuously repeats…. Being someone who has suffered from OCD for 10+ years, and only in the last 6 months being able to stop doing compulsions. I will let you in on a fact, COMPULSIONS DO NOT HELP YOU. Compulsions only adds to the strength of OCD. They do not prevent anything bad from happening! They do not benefit us! They do not make us feel better, they actually make you feel worse in the long term. They are declining the quality of your life! Honestly, I understand how hard it is to stop doing them. The feeling that you need to just do a compulsion “one more time”. I honestly get it, but when you genuinely think about it, what does a compulsion solve? Does flicking the light switch on and off 7 times really have any impact on a loved one being hurt? NO Does thinking a thought really make you a bad person? NO Does mentally/physically checking that thing over and over again help you gain clarity? NO (it actually makes you more confused). I just wanted to share this with you guys, because sometimes it can be really difficult to stop doing compulsions. At first, you might not be able to stop doing them completely and that is okay! You might just want to delay doing a compulsions. Instead of doing a compulsions as soon as possible, try and give it 5 minutes. Try and mess up the compulsions, do it in a different order at first. The main thing we have to do here is teach your brains that compulsions DO NOT keep you safe, they are stopping you from living the life you want to live. Compulsions are like impostors, they try to convince you they are genuinely there to help you, but in fact, all they do is make you feel worse. If anyone is struggling with compulsions whether they are mental or physical, just know you are not alone! You have the strength to choose not to do a compulsion, and you will see how empowering it is once you realise that nothing happens! We are not perfect! Do not feel like you have to be perfect! I still engage in compulsions here and there, especially when I have a bad day. But majority of the time? I am pretty much compulsion free😁 Always strive for progress over perfection!

Joe87

Date posted: 39w

I almost cried reading this post because although I have been a member on here for almost 2 years and had lots of conversations with different peoole i still dont feel like I have spoken to anyone who has physical compulsions or understands them. So to be brief at the start of 2020 I started to get strong intrusive thoughts about dying, what happens when we die and that I haven't been a good person and that I will go to hell. Now as you can imagine this made me feel extremely uncomfortable and anxious and I started to think about it a lot and google it. This then led to me doing physical compulsions to stop it from happening and almost 5 years later I am still in this mess. I entered talk therapy in 2020 hoping this would help but if course it only made it worse and for the next 4 years I went through 3 different talk therapists hoping for a breakthrough but nothing improced. I did have 10 ero sessions with a nocd therapist last year but unfortunatley I think I was so bad at that point that I had become resistant to all forms of therapy. I have done so much research on OCD over the past couple of years and yes you could also argue that doing this is a form of ruminating and I think that's where ocd can become hazy because we reach a point of hang on what is ocd and what isnt because of course a certain amount of research or rumination on certain things is normal. One thing I know for sure is that I understand what it is a lot better but I still do just as many rituals which have all kept me stuck in the cycle of stress, shame and anxiety. I can't afford anymore ERP sessions and I do actually fear that the actual sessions don't help me because it feels like I am putting so much emphasia on it rather than letting it flow. My question to you is what advice do you have to stop doing all of these compuslions because I feel like once I can't stop them then the desire to do them will also dissapear. I gave up work and exercise in 2020 when all of this started and my feeling right now is that I need to take these 2 things back asap even with all of the rituals that I have because they will at least help with improving my self asteem and help with keeping me busy. Please can I have your thoughts on this it would be so appreciated

AaronB1111

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 38w

@Joe87 Hey, first of all, I’m so sorry for the delay—I’ve just seen this now. But I want to say, thank you for sharing this with me. Seriously, it takes so much courage to open up about something as deeply personal and overwhelming as this. Just putting it into words is a huge step, and you should be so proud of yourself. I know how difficult this must feel. OCD can be such a bully—it tells you that the only way to feel safe or protect yourself and others is by following its demands, no matter how exhausting or painful it gets. And when you’re stuck in that cycle, it can feel like there’s no way out. But the fact that you’re here, talking about it, and searching for answers tells me you have so much strength in you—even if it doesn’t feel that way right now. OCD works in this really sneaky loop: 1. An intrusive thought or fear shows up. 2. Your anxiety skyrockets. 3. OCD demands you do something (a compulsion) to make it go away. 4. The anxiety eases temporarily, so you think, “Okay, that worked.” 5. And then, boom, it starts all over again. Stopping that cycle is so hard, but it’s absolutely possible. You’re already on the right track by recognising that these rituals are keeping you stuck and that change is necessary. And you’re right: change is scary. It feels like stepping into the unknown, like letting go of the very things that feel like they’re keeping you safe. I get it—letting go of compulsions can feel so dangerous, like you’re abandoning the things you care about most. But here’s the truth: stopping compulsions is exactly how you protect yourself and honor your values. I’ve lived with OCD for 10 years, and I know how relentless it can be. For me, OCD always went after the things I cared about most—my family, my morals, my sense of safety. And the thought of not giving in to those compulsions? It felt unbearable, like I was being irresponsible. But I reached a point where I just didn’t want to live that way anymore. I didn’t want OCD to keep stealing my joy and my life. I wanted freedom. And trust me, you can have that too. So, where do you start? Here’s what helped me: 1. Write Down Your Compulsions: Start by listing every compulsion you do—big or small. Then rank them from 1-10 (1 being the easiest to resist, 10 being the hardest). Start small. Focus on letting go of just one easy compulsion at a time. It’s not about tackling everything at once—it’s about building momentum. 2. Delay Instead of Stopping Right Away: If fully stopping a compulsion feels too overwhelming, try delaying it. For example, if you feel the urge to do something immediately, set a timer for 10 minutes and tell yourself, “I’ll wait until this timer ends.” You can gradually increase the delay over time. 3. Focus on Building the Life You Want: You mentioned wanting to get back to work and exercise, and I think that’s such an amazing idea. Even if you’re still doing compulsions, having something meaningful to focus on—like work, fitness, or hobbies—can help shift your energy toward things that build your confidence and joy. 4. Be Kind to Yourself: Recovery isn’t a straight path. There will be hard days, and that’s okay. The goal isn’t to get rid of anxiety or intrusive thoughts—it’s to change how you respond to them. Celebrate every little win, no matter how small it feels. Even resisting a compulsion for a few minutes is a step forward. 5. Remember, It’s Okay to Feel Afraid: Fear doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It means you’re stepping into the unknown, and that’s brave. Letting go of compulsions will feel uncomfortable at first, but discomfort is how we grow. One Last Thing This might sound cheesy, but I want you to remember something: you are so much more than OCD. It doesn’t define you. It’s just a small, stubborn part of your brain trying to keep you safe in all the wrong ways. You’ve already shown so much strength by surviving everything OCD has thrown at you, and I know you have the power to get your life back. You’ve got this. I’m here for you, and I’m here if you ever need to talk. You’re not alone in this! ❤️🙏🏽✨

Anonymous

Date posted: 25w

If You Are Really Struggling, This Might Help! 🧡

Common posts on here are "i had a thought" "why am i thinking this" "what if" and these are all OCDs way of making you doubt yourself while taking you round and round in never ending circles at the same time. Regardless of the theme you are facing, there is no "figuring out" or "making sense" of a thought, because it isn't a real situation - it's a passing word or image or scenario without any meaning attached. You can't control your thoughts and the more you "don't want to have them" the more they will appear. For instance, tell yourself not to think about "apples", it will be the first thing that comes to your mind, because that's just how our minds work. Once you categorise a thought as "bad", every time it comes into your mind, your anxiety level will go up and this makes the thought seem real. Because if it "Feels" this bad, surely it must mean something or must have happened - But none of this is true. All we have to do is naturally notice thoughts as they come up, and rather than try to assess or ruminate over the content, we can almost shrug them off. It's the only way to accept thoughts as simply thoughts and nothing more. Anxiety drives the intense feeling and the more attention you give to thoughts, the more power they have over you. No random thought can change your real intentions. OCD is never ever satisfied, so the only way forward is to accept the uncertainty of never knowing "for sure" and to class the unwanted thought as irrelevant. OCD says "quick..bad thought..feels horrible.. what does it mean.. fix it". But in reality there is nothing bad here or nothing to be fixed, it's a false alarm. Once you learn to respond to a thought calmly by working on anxiety, it gets easier over time. It's your perception of your thoughts that needs to change, you believe they mean something about you, but random things pop into our heads all the time - both things we like and things we don't. OCD also latches onto what we care about most and it always comes with a feared consequence, so think about what yours is, e.g "what happens if my worst fear comes true" you can then practice imaginal exposure which is imagining your worst case scenario over and over until you become desensitised to it and no longer fear it - therapists use this technique in sessions. Everyone in the world has thoughts, the thoughts are not the issue, you just get more of what you focus on, up until the point that you can change your attitude towards the thought. If I asked you if you went upstairs today you would have an answer straight away, however if I asked you a question related to your OCD theme, your anxiety would increase and you would doubt yourself, because that's OCD doing the thinking for you. Once you give it less power it becomes a less significant part of your day. It's so easy to give into compulsions as they feel like a "quick fix".. but as I mentioned, ocd is never happy, which is why it wants us to continue to check and seek reassurance. Once you start reducing and gradually stopping compulsions, whether this is rumination, checking, or a physical action (whatever you falsely believe is "keeping you safe" from your feared consequence) you will see it's not necessary to do them, and that the time consuming little things you have taught yourself to do have no effect on what actually happens in real life. Thoughts prompt feelings and feelings prompt actions - meaning - thoughts cause anxiety and anxiety drives unnecessary actions. As a side note, I overcame contamination ocd (I was in a very very bad way and now the theme doesn't bother me anymore). I still have OCD and it can affect me slightly at times, but i can manage it in a way that it doesn't interfere with my day and without the need to carry out compulsions. Please practice, because I promise it helps, it's super scary at first and extremely difficult but the end result is worth it. ERP therapy is also very helpful.

Dan Frijoles

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 22w

Compulsions NEVER Help

After almost 2 decades of struggling with Pure OCD that was all-consuming, all day, every day, I'm finally in a spot where I can effectively manage this disorder. A big way I did this was realizing that compulsions NEVER help and they are NEVER the answer. It might feel like it's helping in the moment, but you're just giving power to the OCD and it WILL come back stronger. Sometimes (especially with Pure O), it can be hard to even tell if you're doing a compulsion. If you're not sure and think there is even a possibility that it could be, try to stop doing that immediately. The better you get at noticing your compulsions and stopping them quickly the better off you'll be in the long-term. It's definitely a tough and bumpy road, but if I was able to get there I'm sure anyone can. Just stick with it and it gets way easier.

TexasOCD41

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 16w

Food for thought. 10 Tips for OCD.

As a 20+ year OCD vet and OCD conqueror. I wanted to share some tips and tricks that help me. 1. A thought is not the same as a belief. You can think something, and not believe it in the slightest. 2. Thoughts DO NOT represent ANYTHING. They are not indicators to who we are as people, they are pop up ads for the brains computer. 3. We DO NOT control our thoughts! The average person has about 60,000 ( yes, 4 zeros) a day! NONE of which are controlled. 4. We DO have control over which of those 60k thoughts are important. i.e. thought A. I could murder my entire household- survey says? not important ( because yea, sure, you could, but you probably don't really want to) thought B. i need to do my laundy-survey says? important... unfortunately, i hate laundry. which brings me to number 5. 5. Emotional reasoning ( where you let your feelings impact your decisions) is a COGNITIVE DISTORTION. It is a flawed thought process and should NEVER be used. "wanting to do something" does not mean you SHOULD do it, same and sometimes NOT wanting to do something doesn't mean you shouldn't do it ( picked what is important) my brain might tell me i WANT to break up with my husband, ( unimportant) and it might also say i don't want to get up and go to work in the morning ( important). 6. YOU-ARE-IN-CONTROL. Not to be confused with HAVING control. We don't control our thoughts, we control which ones are important, we don't control our feelings or emotions, but we control how to react (or not react) to them. We don't control our OCD, but we can control how it affects our lives, and that can mean that is has all the power, or none. 7. If the action you want to do ( confess, get reassurance, check, analyze, avoid, re-do) are to gain relief from anxiety, IT IS A COMPULSION. DO NOT DO IT. Sit with the anxiety and train your brain to realize its not dangerous or important with ERP ( this takes time, but practice makes perfect) 8. Know your enemy. NOCD has a HUGE amount of articles and information on ALL subtypes of OCD and how to respond and how to treat them. OCD is MUCH easier to combat when you understand how it works. 9. BE PATIENT. BE KIND to yourself. Prioritize healthy habits, a healthy body is better equipped to handle OCD. Good sleep, whole foods, sunlight, social interaction, exercise ( walking especially). When the mind feels weak, make the body strong. 10. You are not alone. OCD is classified by the World Health Organization as one of the top 10 most distressing disorders. Reach out to people, seek medical help. Medication is not evil, it can be life-saving, TALK to people. Bonus Tips * if the question is " What If" its OCD. * Total certainty does not exist, be content with 99%* *"But this feels different, this feels like its not OCD, that its real*- emotional reasoning... its OCD. Hang in there. You got this. Im here for any advice, questions, or support. Today is a great day to have a GREAT DAY.

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My Advice On Compulsions

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