I don’t know what to do anymore. Going to a therapist is not working because he doesn’t know Hocd and he is just crap Exercising doesn’t seem to help The only time I’m happy is when I’m alone in my room I don’t have any or have less thoughts I’m trying to be strong but nah Fuck I don’t know anymore

I appreciate it, living like this is really hard I feel like it steals much of our happiness time and etc I wanted to start a business this year a sneaker resale business and This ocd just ruined things for me I was so depressed if you’d ask me where the money went I wouldn’t even tell you I went from being the happiest dude ever to this fucked up version of myself that I don’t even understand I still get boners I still like girls but these thoughts are just too much I try to ingnore them but some days are just really bad especially if I spend a long time on campus

I have an assignment that I’m busy with as we speak and it’s about same sex marriage, you can understand how hard it is for me to do it it’s fucking hard

@Mod22 Hard to imagine something worse than that. But don’t let it affect you , let it roll of your back and try to see it as just another assignment that will be over and done with soon enough

@xiiiandreww I just want this to be over dawg worst part is I can’t afford a proper psychologist my only hope is to beat this by myself and I don’t even know how because the thoughts don’t go away they are just lacking. Atleast I don’t overlook things I just have these feelings and I don’t give into compulsions but I’m also not happy at the same time don’t know if I’m repeating myself but this has destroyed all my New Years resolutions I had so much shit planned out this year but not even in 2 months I was already in shit

@Mod22 The worst part is when everything is gone for a while and you hope that its all over but it comes back...

@pgam14 Yes I just wish I knew people who have recovered from this and even that doesn’t help because they have recovered and you are the one who still needs to and I’m scared that if I recover and have this thought in let’s say 2 years time I might panic and fuck up my progress but I’m reading into things too much

@Mod22 YeahhbIm scared of this too

Thank you bro I’m doing much better than 4 months ago don’t get intrusive thoughts often but It’s almost as if my mind is so used to looking at dudes and gays and I hate that I’m not reassuring myself or anything and I know I don’t like them because I don’t even get those false erection things or whatever they call them but I’m just depressed I’m down i don’t do a lot of things that I used to do I used to enjoy drinking and partying I don’t even do that anymore I don’t even have any sexual desire I’m just out bro just this March I was on top of the world and today I’m At the bottom it’s just fucked up bro

@Mod22 OCD and every other emotion it causes is very difficult bro , I understand. I think what you should do is take the focus off of what you enjoy doing and tell yourself that maybe I’ll like those things again , maybe I won’t. But even if I don’t , I could still end up finding new things I enjoy and love doing , nothing is preventing me from doing that. The person you were before is who you are now , it’s just clouded with confusion. But even if you did lose who you once were , that makes no difference in recovery. You could grow to love who you’ve become regardless. Sexual desire is usually slowed down because of OCD and it’s temporary that you feel that way , but it’s good to get comfortable with not having it at the moment so you don’t pressure yourself to try to get it back asap. I’m rooting for you bro , you got this ??

Thing is I’m in university I went to student counseling and I asked for a clinical psychologist I think they work with ocd? And all I got was a counselor who said I don’t even have ocd and stuff like that he ignored everything I said and kept on putting words in my mouth our next appointment is this Thursday I’m not even looking forward to it because I doubt he will help I don’t have a job or have enough money to go to a proper ocd specialist I’m a second year going to third so I just need to help myself at this point and I hope I can do it

@Mod22 Ugh... This counselor sounds awful. You might be better off not seeing him, some types of therapy can make ocd worse. There are some online therapists that may be a better option if they know about ocd.

@llamaduck That’s so true after I saw him last week I Was back to square one even called my ex because I couldn’t even do anything about it I study so far away from home it’s 10hours drive and a 2 hour flight and I only go home twice a year so I don’t even have support

@Mod22 What kinds of things is your therapist having you do? I saw a general therapist first (thought I had generalized anxiety disorder) and it was truly terrible. She had no clue how to treat ocd.

@llamaduck He doesn’t sound experienced

Oh geez... My personal opinion (I'm not a professional, just a fellow ocd sufferer), there's no reason why we have these thoughts, they're irrational and not sure about you but I almost always know deep down they're irrational. What your counselor is asking you to do is going to make your ocd worse and doubt everything even more, perpetuating the ocd cycle. This was my experience with a general therapist too. If you can't switch to a new therapist I would suggest at least try to research on your own techniques for overcoming ocd. There's a lot of free information out there. Hope you feel better soon. :(

@llamaduck I didn’t even bother to do that because I knew he was fucking with me . Thank you I’ll try to look and I’d appreciate it if you share techniques if you have em

@Mod22 There's no real tricks to feeling better. It takes a lot of work and time. First thing is to get a good understanding of your compulsions. If you don't have any outward rituals most likely you have mental rituals you do in your head. You need to start observing when obsessions occur and what you do to neutralize them. Mindfulness and Act can help with this and make you feel slightly better. Eventually you need to do erp, for hocd you can record a narrative of your worst fears and listen on repeat. Or you can set up a scenario in person to test these fears. The trick with erp is to not do any compulsions during the exposure, this is why you must have a good understanding of your rituals first. You might feel worse before you feel better but over time you'll notice improvements.

@llamaduck I do practice mindfullness but sometimes it’s really hard because when you have no attitude towards the thought you kind of feel disgusted well I kind of feel disgusted with myself but still don’t follow it through I stopped checking and giving in to compulsions because It would make it worse i do however over watch things like the lgbt flags and stuff even though I don’t have any feelings towards them these days but I still over watch it’s like I’m used to it now so that’s also a part I need to fix