Can’t Believe How Far I Have Come

I just saw this notification pop up on my phone, that I was awarded the “OCD Conqueror” badge around 6 months ago. I just wanted to share some advice and support to anyone who is currently struggling, feeling lost, or even feeling better! OCD is honestly a very serious mental disorder. It is known as the “Doubting Disorder”, which I am sure many of you know. It can make you doubt your own character, value, intentions, beliefs, morals and so so much more. I am someone who has lived with OCD for around 10 years now, and honestly, the best advice I could give you guys is to see a therapist specialised in ERP. I was someone who was constantly doing compulsions, avoiding my triggers, trying to neutralise my unwanted negative thoughts. I always believed that these thoughts must have meant something about me. I always believed that I would never be able to live a normal life. I always believed that I would never get better. I have experienced every single sub-type under the sun, whether it has been False Memory OCD or Harm-OCD or whatever it may be, I have pretty much been through it all. I know how difficult it is, and honestly, I know how easy it is to get consumed into your themes. Here’s a little secret: the theme and content is actually IRRELEVANT. (OCD targets the things you love in life, it targets your values, your beliefs, your intentions, and your fears. So the theme and content is IRRELEVANT, because what really is the problem, is our reaction to these thoughts and feelings!) Everyone in the world has unwanted intrusive thoughts, whether they have OCD or not. The difference for those of us with OCD is that we have a much higher intolerance of being able to handle and accept doubt and uncertainty in our life. We have all probably been in this position here: “OMG, why does my brain keep coming up with these thoughts. I hate them. It must mean something terrible about me if it keeps popping up. I need to try and stop them”. At the end of the day, a thought is just a thought. Nothing else. It is literally a stream of words in your mind. Thoughts are not facts. Thoughts are not predictions. Thoughts are not indicators of anything. Thoughts have no influence on real world events. The best advice I can give you guys is this: Fighting with your thoughts and feelings gets you nowhere. Performing compulsions to reduce anxiety and distress gets you nowhere. Avoiding things that you feel will trigger you gets you nowhere. Mentally going over past events or scenarios to try and “figure” something out gets you nowhere. Honestly, coming from someone who has tried all of the above for multiple years, I can confirm that they feel like they are helping you, but truly, they are just making this worse. I got better when I figured out the goal is to just be able to co-exist with the likes of unwanted intrusive thoughts and anxiety. The goal is NOT to banish them. Once you learn that acceptance is the way forward, you will start to realise that your thoughts and feelings and urges or whatever it may be, are not actually dangerous at all. They may make you feel scared, anxious, on edge, and this is okay! Feelings are just feelings, again, they do not mean anything! Just allow everything to be there. At first, this does not feel natural at all. Most likely because your brains have adapted to the “OCD Way Of Life”, such as performing compulsions to banish the feelings of distress and anxiety. But over time, and with support from the community and your therapist, you will be so so glad you made this step and you will start to live your life under your own terms! You all got this! 😎🫶🏾