- Date posted
- 1y
ROCD
iโm having really bad relationship anxiety & OCD idk how to get past it :( it ruins my mood & affects the way i view my partner. i want to cry
iโm having really bad relationship anxiety & OCD idk how to get past it :( it ruins my mood & affects the way i view my partner. i want to cry
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this :( I used to get frequent intrusive thoughts about not loving my partner and I constantly worried about and researched if we were compatible. What helped me was to figure out why I was so afraid of not being compatible--which I found out was because I am afraid of being stuck in a relationship that I'm not happy in and not feeling like I can get out. I would then remind myself that I wont get stuck because I have control over the situation and can leave at any time. I also reminded myself that OCD targets the things you value the most, so it really just shows that you care a lot about your partner when you worry. I hope you are able to find peace of mind and relief from all the worries
@mckintosh thank you so much this helped me a ton ๐ฅบ
@๐ฉ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฉ๐ค๐ข๐ง๐ค๐ฆ๐ of course, i'm happy to help :)
I used to get this with my partner when we first got together, it was awful, what i did was โtrust the processโ and try my best to disregard the OCD and anxious thoughts, and not try to reason or argue or analyse them
@Doot ๐บ did that help or did they go away eventually?
@๐ฉ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฉ๐ค๐ข๐ง๐ค๐ฆ๐ Yep! Im 6months into the relationship and hardly ever get OCD about it anymore, fighting with the thoughts is rumination which is a compulsion - to stop ocd you have to first stop the compulsions ๐ซ
@Doot ๐บ thank u๐ฅบ iโll try my best
for a few days now Iโve been super anxious about my relationship. Iโve been anxious about it before but lately itโs been worse than normal. Iโm in a very healthy and loving relationship, I love my boyfriend so much and he treats me so so well. The only thing is that Iโve been having scary thoughts that what if Iโm lying to him and donโt actually love him? What if I donโt find him attractive? And like what if the only way to stop being anxious is to break up with him? I donโt want to leave him and I am so scared. I feel like Iโm lying to him by not telling him whatโs going on because he might think Iโm actually going to leave him, which Iโm really not going to. I have had anxiety since before we started dating and incestual and sexual ocd, then I got into a point where I started having religious ocd, and now I have ROCD on top of that I think. Iโve never been diagnosed but Iโm going to therapy and figuring things out but Iโm so scared. Idk what to do and I feel like if I talk to anyone theyโre going to say I have to leave him.
Lately my ROCD has been flaring up, making it difficult to even be around my partner. Iโm having so many troubling thoughts with the one that bugs me most being, โmaybe this isnโt my OCD, maybe Iโm just in a bad relationship and Iโm trying to cover it up and blame it on OCDโ. This thought really scares me because there are valid doubts in my relationship but my boyfriend and I have openly talked about them and are trying to work through. My OCD wonโt take that as an option tho. It makes me feel like I need to be 100% certain that these things can NEVER happen again or else we need to break up immediately. So anything he says in that moment about trying to do better, my OCD will not trust anything he says and just wait until the next โbad thingโ happens. When I continuously bring these things up to my boyfriend even tho nothing has happened between these conversations, it exhausts him making it feel like he can never do enough. I feel so bad because I know itโs just my OCD getting in the way. But then that thought creeps in saying I canโt trust him because I need to protect myself. Itโs just an ongoing cycle that is so tiring. I donโt even know what I want anymore. We are very opposite when it comes to emotions. I am very in tune and very emotionally intelligent, and he is not. He is the opposite. I do recognize that my anxious attachment style may be hard for him too but I canโt stop thinking about all of his flaws and all of the things he needs to do to make our relationship better. It makes me feel like Iโm the only one putting in effort when in reality that is not true. But my OCD does make me feel like he doesnโt really love me or want to be with me and that he feels forced to be with me or do things for me. It makes me feel like him being with me is like a chore. Can anyone relate? My OCD just makes me feel like I canโt trust anything he says to make our relationship better.
If anyone can help.. Iโm suffering from ROCD.. I love my partner I do. I cry when I talk to him about this, I cry when he compliments me now, just a constant gut feeling every time I think about him or know Iโm going to see him. Itโs just, I cry at everything, especially when Iโm with him, like Iโll be cuddling him and then Iโll think, โdo you love him?โ And I panic and I cry/get teary eyed. Itโs just the gut feeling wonโt go away. Maybe Iโm in the wrong relationship? Maybe Iโm upset because Iโm with the amazing guy and I donโt like him anymore. I donโt know I just got upset writing this.. he is so sweet. He is my first long-term relationship. Like 2 months ago, when this started, everything before this was fine. Like literally we were about to hit our 8 month mark and then the next day he complimented me and I thought โidk if I love you anymore..โ I couldnโt eat, sleep, major gut feelings. I cried and had panic attacks. Idk I know this sound pathetic but I want to love him. I donโt know if this is me seriously falling out of love or if this is ROCD. I tried getting a therapist but I canโt afford it because they donโt take my insurance. My bf is aware of EVERYTHING, And heโs been by my side the past two months since this started, but he doesnโt have ocd and doesnโt understand, so if someone could help, I would really appreciate it!!.. I just donโt know whatโs going on. I miss how things were before. Quiet and happy. And now itโs just crying, gut feelings, and mess.. hopefully I donโt sound harsh and mean, im just wanting answer in what to do..
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