SO-OCD and ROCD

My SO-OCD is really getting in the way of my relationship and I’m so confused if it’s meant to be platonic or romantic. We have such a strong bond and I am sexually attracted to them but my SO-OCD tries to convince me that I should be with a woman bc I’m not sure if I’m 100% straight and I feel a lot of guilt about the fact that I want a relationship with a man and get intrusive thoughts about what it would be like to be with a woman instead. But it’s about this one specific girl I found attractive and I’m not sure if it’s sexual attraction or admiration and I have been fixating on this ever since I met her because I see her consistently and I’m not sure what to do. I really want this to work with him but it’s so hard for me to trust myself and what I truly want.

Username: FindingAnswersAskingFindingAnswe...

Date posted: 9w ago

hey! I don’t think it’s horrible to find that girl attractive. I think it would be helpful to accept the possibility. You already (likely) find other guys attractive. That doesn’t mean you have to run and go be with them. So why would it be any different with a woman? You can find her attractive the same way you do with guys and still be in a happy fulfilling relationship with your boyfriend. There’s no ‘must’s. It isn’t that you must be with someone else for any reason at all. It would be helpful to do ERP on worst case scenarios and try to accept them. Realistically, though, that thought of ‘what would it be like with them’ could apply to anyone. The grass is always greener where you water it. I’d accept those possibilities and keep on keeping on. Best of luck to you :)

Username: anonocdanonocd

Date posted: 9w ago

No one is 100% straight. It’s a spectrum. E.g., a person might be 97% straight, 2% gay, 0.7% zoophilic, and 0.3% ephebophillic. This person may be in a straight relationship and wonder if there’s a chance they’re supposed to be in a gay relationship. Perhaps they try it out, and they start to wonder maybe actually they should be with an animal instead and they are very concerned and unhappy in their gay relationship. It might feel ‘safer’ to keep the door open, to stay undecided, but there’s no end to the torment… there’s no end to the torment if you never step out on faith and **take the risk of deciding**. The word ‘decision’ has its root in “the cutting off (of other options)”.

Username: IfiknewthenIfiknewthen

Date posted: 9w ago

Good point. Another point is that soocd is no different than any other subtype ocd. It cant be dedeated with logic and reason. Statistics show its defeated with ERP. EXPOSURE EXPOSURE EXPOSURE. RESPONSE PREVENTION RESPONSE PREVENTION RESPONSE PREVENTION.

Username: lovelover

Date posted: 1y ago

SO-OCD

struggling with this theme currently. i am worried that i am secretly a lesbian and i am just leading my boyfriend on because i like his attention. i don't think this is actually true as i do truly love my boyfriend, but i'm worried anyways. my ocd is making me question if my love for him is romantic or just platonic.

Username: kytalker

Date posted: 1y ago

Help

Hi everyone! I just wanted to see if anyone else felt the way that I did about something related to SO-OCD… I’m finally discovering that I might have this sub genre of OCD and have had it for a very long time. I have always felt awkward around other women especially in more intimate situations (like changing in the same room, laying in bed together or giving compliments about looks). All of this hit me like a ton of bricks when I got into a relationship with my boyfriend 2 years ago and our sex life started to decline after about 9 months of us being together. It makes me feel extremely uncomfortable and I obsess over finding out why I have grown not attracted to him sexually. Am I a lesbian? Am I just depressed? Am I falling out of love with him? Was I ever in love with him? The list goes on and my obsession with it grows stronger. I’m so scared I will have to break up with him because I do love him and love spending time with him. I’m scared to start ERP therapy because I’m worried I’ll realize that it’s best to just let him go 😭

Sexual Orientation OCD

Username: unkindledhis...

Date posted: 37w ago

HOCD/SO OCD

I have been heterosexual all my life and been exclusively attracted to women in all aspects. Although, admittedly that I find all people aesthetically attractive (regardless of gender), it was in my nature to complement them and admire them for who they are. I’m currently in a committed relationship with my girlfriend and have been happy up until the end of 2023. It wasn’t until the start of January where the normal things that I did made me question about my sexuality. I kept obsessing over it and overthinking about it up until the point that I kept asking for reassurance from my family and partner as well as none-stop researching about it. It has been taking up my time in school and I’m losing my sleep. My mind was telling me that I was bisexual or gay, but deep down it felt wrong like it wasn’t me. I was having thoughts and fantasies that would wake me up and feel repulsed. I am slowly staring to get numb and be emotionless. I also have been very anxious and have started to get attractions and arousals that I didn’t like. I’m also starting to lose attraction to my partner and there have been instances where the thoughts were so close to convincing me. I just want to be happy with my girlfriend and I don’t want to lose our relationship as well as our future. I don’t also want to lose my self. I have been getting false attractions, groinal responses, thoughts and images that are bothersome and makes me feel repulsed. It gets worse whenever I analyze my past. I don’t know what to do and I just want to cry.

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SO-OCD and ROCD

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