I think I've obsessed over my sexuality that it might have changed. I've had nearly 4 years of misery and anxiety pretty much everyday. I can't believe how much I used love girls I just hope this is all in my head. I argue with myself in my head I feel could this be my ocd ?. I'm so confused please help somebody š xxxx
Have you been engaged in serious ERP for SOOCD these last 4 years?
I had 2 weeks or so about 2 years ago but nothing really changed and it just got so expensive š
@Ihateocd83 What erp stuff did they have you do?
@Ifiknewthen Looking at pictures watching videos etc. Do you suffer with this ??
@Ihateocd83 Also, are you saying you never had any mental health problems before 23? Everything was wonderful up til 23 and then BOOM at 23 you woke up feeling anxious and depressed?
@Ifiknewthen I had anxeity about my health etc and suffered with panic attacks. But the whole thing regarding men seem to happen overnight yes
@Ihateocd83 Yes i had soocd hit me cause i happened to come upon gay porn and it caused it. I had never had it before. I was 37 when that happened. 44 now. But i beat it with ERP. it takes longer than 2 weeks lol. More like 6 months lol. Habituation principle. But ive had severe ocd my whole life. Like as far back as i can remember. Like 1st grade. Perfectionism. I was taken to people but noone knew much about ocd back then. Id say todays understanding of ocd didnt happen until a few years ago or so. At least not as wide spread.
@Ihateocd83 Do you take an antidepressant?
@Ifiknewthen Oh right ok....what would you suggest and what symptoms did you have ?
@Ifiknewthen Yes escitaloprƔm 10mg
@Ihateocd83 Is that the only ssri youve taken? Have you only been under the care of a general practictioner or psychiatrist?
@Ifiknewthen No I've been on many š. Yes I have. I had 2 weeks with nocd but it got expensive like I say
@Ihateocd83 Well ive always had very severe perfectionism type ocd. Grades had to be perfect. I was obsessed about being perfect in sports. Just a whole bunch of crazy shit. But i was never diagnosed or treated for it. Now 10 mg of lexapro might be a rather low dose if you have severe ocd or major depressive disorder. I take 20 mg of paxil. I think paxil is the strongest ssri with regard to serotonin. Its really important that you get with a psychiatrist for mental health. Primary care arent educated in these matters.
@Ihateocd83 So youre saying your concern about sexual orientation just occurred overnight? Nothing happened to cause it? Nothing triggered it?
@Ifiknewthen I went out with a freind and I got a thought like what if I fancy him. It was so long ago it's difficult to remember
@Ifiknewthen i take 20 mg lexapro and 5 mg buspar twice a day and i think i feel an improvement
The loss of attraction is killing me aswell. I can hardly feel nothing for women. It's horrible. By the way this all started about when I was 23 but the last 4 years have been so bad. I'm 41 now. Thanks for replying
Cause i know what triggered my soocd lol. It didnt just happen for no reason. And it was extremely difficult for me to talk to a therapist about. EXTREMELY DIFFICULT.
@Ifiknewthen Makes me feel like it's not ocd now š
@Ihateocd83 Not necessarily. Ocd patients are very diverse in what their symptoms are and what their origins are. I would just get with whatever psychiatrist or psychologist your insurance covers. most dont cover NOCD. NOCD is mostly out of pocket service. They try to advertise they deal with insurance companies but they arent in network for most people. Youll get better but you have to be committed to therapy.
@Ifiknewthen Are you in the UK or US?
@Ihateocd83 USA
I have no idea how to start as far as therapy goes etc
I would try to get with a psychiatrist if you have insurance. So that way you can be prescribed medication if they feel its necessary. I take 20 mg of paxil. I may go up to 40. I used to be on 40. And with regards to side effects, i do well with taking a drug holiday occassionally. Just dont take it for a few days to a week. Helps with sexual side effects a lot.
@Ifiknewthen So you would recommend paxil ? What do you mean sexual side ? Like libido?
@Ihateocd83 Yeah ssri are known to decrease libido. Thats a well known side effect. So people stop taking it for a few days or so and it helps a lot. Paxil has a short half life elimination. The active ingredients leave the body fairly quickly. Ive gone off it for a week at a time and been fine. Some docs shy away from recommending that cause they worry the person will get depressed again but ive only had issues when i stop it for a long time. Like a couple months. And sometimes depression and anxiety itself can cause low libido so its kind of a trial and error approach.
I did try paxil but maybe I'll give it another gošš»
Whos been treating you through the years? A psychiatrist or primary care physician?
Maybe I should stick with escitaloprƔm?. I also take nac and magnesium
Iāve completely lost myself. I canāt focus on my studies, I canāt go to the gym. Dang it I canāt even be around my male friends normally anymore. I got no idea why or how this happened but the only thing I know for sure is that I never questioned my sexuality neither doubted it. I never cared in general. I just liked girls. I keep testing and keep testing and keep testing my arousal but no matter how many times I see but I donāt feel the same way for guys that I do with girls my mind will always try to make me believe that I am gay. Itās like itās forcing me into an identity I never asked for. But at the end of the day like my psychologist told me. Sexuality doesnāt change. So since I never felt anything for guys in my life itās ocd. Iāve been up and down for 5 months now and while the last week I was feeling way better. Monday now and Iām back to zero. I just want to go back when everything was normal. I canāt keep living with this.
Like I canāt think straight. This is making me doubt everything Iāve thought about myself and even makes me feel like I like the thoughts when I know I donāt. Like I would be less anxious at a time while I still have the thoughts and my mind would go āoh so you like it you must be gayā or the other one where Iām not anxious and I think of my attraction for girls that Iāve had my whole life and my mind goes āsee now youāre not into them youāre gayā like itās so stupid but so effective. I clearly remember being into girls my whole life but my mind is making me believe that all these attractions and feelings for women were all fake or āa thing of the pastā. But I can still get aroused by women but I have this weird anxiety going on which brings these sensations/feelings and itās so weird. Today Iāve spent my whole day thinking about it like Iāve been doing for 5 months now. I know that this aint normal but my mind just wonāt let me live in peace. I never cared about my sexuality cuz I simply liked women my whole life but now my sexuality is a fundamental philosophy. I hate this.
Hey guys so I have been suffering with sexual ocd due to the fact that I donāt feel that romantic spark with him anymore, I love him and I know I do but I get to much in my thoughts thinking about why canāt I feel that anymore what has changed what if I donāt wanna be with anymore Iāve been with him for 4 years and at first I think it was ROCD but now I started thinking what if Iām into girls now Iāve always been the type to say oh a girl is so pretty or I like this about her but now I feel like every time I see a girl Iām like do I see myself in a relationship with her oh sheās pretty oh I like her voice do I find it attractive and sometimes I do !!! Which is killing me I feel disgust thinking about because what if I secretly am no shame to people who are my sister herself is but I just feel wierd because I wanna be with my husband and feel happy there not with a girl and feel like a man because I see myself in the mirrior and Iām like do I myself being a man do I look lesbian? Do I act lesbian or bi? What if secretly I wanna be a man or I imagine myself being a man in a relationship with a pretty girl and idk what to think
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
