I hate this

whenever im close to crying, my ocd makes it stop because it reminds me of basically everything bad i could’ve done, telling me i shouldn’t be crying since im a bad person and don’t deserve to feel like i have anything to cry about whenever i laugh, my ocd makes it stop because it tells me that im a bad person and i don’t deserve to be feeling joy when im about to sleep, relax or im in the shower, my mind thinks about the worst. i limit my showers a lot because of this and go on my phone almost anywhere to distract myself ocd is making my life impossible. i just want to be normal again i almost cried as i made this post, but the ocd stopped it. again id do so much just to not have ocd

[Deleted]

Date posted: 48w

Comment deleted by user

nooooooooooo

Date posted: 48w

@rosepetaltears yeah thank you , ive done bad things before that i didn’t realize were bad at the time and i regret it and am trying to better myself but my mind just keeps reminding me of things ive done and sometimes it’s a false memory sometimes it’s true and i hate it I don’t know if people without ocd always get reminded of things they’ve done but it’s awful and i just try and distract myself a lot and know that im not alone. i don’t know if im a bad person or not but it’s just so exhausting i hate this disorder i wish i didn’t have it

fuzzy_caterp...

Date posted: 48w

@nooooooooooo me too. it eats me up and I feel like I don’t deserve to enjoy anything

nooooooooooo

Date posted: 48w

@rosepetaltears THIS HELPED A LOT THANK YOU SO MUCH!! I hope my reply doesn’t seem too short compared to your message but your reply genuinely did help a lot and it’s good to know someone’s in the same situation as me. i hope this doesn’t sound selfish or anything, but i realized about the thing i did that i was worried would hurt people was also done by the people that i was worried id hurt, if basically saying they did it too. thank you for the YouTube recommendations aswell!! thank you for telling me i wasn’t aware because i really wasn’t, if i knew what i did was that bad i would’ve never did it. but i really do feel bad because i did do something bad to annoy someone one time and i feel like it’s worse because i did it to annoy them, but then again they did the same thing to someone else so maybe they don’t see it as that bad? im trying my best right now to get help / therapy at the moment. also, if it isn’t too much work, id love to hear tips your therapist said!

nooooooooooo

Date posted: 48w

@rosepetaltears I might decide to if i don’t get over it because it would feel nice to have someone to talk to! you can always talk to me about things aswell IF you want

nooooooooooo

Date posted: 48w

@rosepetaltears you make me feel so heard thank you!! im gonna do some homework later and then rest. if it’s late where you are then you should rest aswell!! tomorrow is a new day and one day closer to getting better

nooooooooooo

Date posted: 48w

@rosepetaltears hey i was just wondering if we could talk again? about the event that happened im pretty worried about it

nooooooooooo

Date posted: 47w

@rosepetaltears yeah and the late reply is fine, do you have anywhere we would talk about this? i just don’t want it public

eea

Date posted: 23w

Help

Lately I have been having really really bad existential ocd the thoughts and compulsions never stop they are even in my dreams I resist compulsions as long as I can but I just want this to go away I keep thinking about how many hours in a day people would have if they weren’t like me I just feel so awful every second I feel like I’m living a double life I only know about I just want this to all go away

My journey

Date posted: 14w

Magical thinking

i don’t want to do my compulsions. I feel like if I don’t somebody will get hurt, sick or die. It’s a very scary thought to feel like if I don’t do my compulsions it will be my fault even though it isn’t & nor will it happen. I know it’s magical thinking & my thoughts are not true nor will they come true. it’s just im so tired of doing these compulsions. im so tired of feeling like I can stop something bad happening if I don’t step on this or touch this 4 times. it even got me believing that if I do something I want to do & love, something bad will happen. I just want to be able to live & feel like I use to. I hate ocd. how can I calm this down so I can be able to navigate in my own life?

flowerpetals

Date posted: 13w

i’m posting.. again

i feel the need to say sorry because i’m posting yet again. i’m having a REALLY DIFFICULT episode of ocd that i haven’t had for a few months now. i experience contamination ocd everyday and have constant anxiety attacks, however because that’s so normal to me and doesn’t affect anyone but myself, it doesn’t affect me in the same way harm ocd does. i haven’t had to deal with really bad harm ocd thoughts for a good bit now so i’m struggling so bad right now. if anyone has seen my previous posts (which i’m sure you have), this came about over a small change that happened a couple weeks ago. it’s now blossoming into a full episode. it’s making me feel paralyzed and not want to do anything, but i know in the past i had to force myself to distract myself by actually doing things. i’m supposed to hang out with my friend tomorrow, but i’m so close to cancelling because i feel like i can’t do it. my physical symptoms are also worse than what i feel like i’m used to and it’s terrifying me into thinking i’m gonna get sick. i just don’t know how to get through it. it feels like impending doom and constant panic. i just want to feel like myself again and happy

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

I hate this

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community